tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87672978781407868872024-03-12T19:45:41.948-07:00Living With MoxieAngel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.comBlogger277125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-73505348758530033532021-07-28T11:47:00.021-07:002021-07-28T20:24:30.994-07:00The Things God Does For Women <p style="text-align: left;">A new episode of a podcast I'm listening to came out this week. When I saw the title, my heart sank, my fists clenched, and my thoughts went immediately to the Second Mile women I love and lead. Every woman should hear me say, "Don't let podcasts, news, and stories like this define you." Throughout history, in many situations, in and out of the church, women have been misunderstood, oppressed, and abused. It's gut-wrenching to say the least. Truly infuriating. The title of the new episode is The Things We Do To Women from the podcast The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill.* </p><p>As soon as I read the title my mind immediately went into overdrive of all I've learned about women in Scripture over the past three years. The Bible is FULL of fierce women, but somehow in some spaces of American church culture, what the Bible says about women has been reduced to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+14%3A34-35+&version=ESV" target="_blank">women shouldn't speak</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+5%3A22-33&version=ESV" target="_blank">wives should submit,</a> and <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+2%3A12&version=ESV" target="_blank">women should have no authority</a>. It is true that we must study and wrestle with these difficult passages, but we must do so in light of the many, <i><b>many</b></i> other passages people ignorantly or willfully don't bring into conversations about women in the Church. (Yes, I know. Chad and I have been studying this for a long time and you are ready for us to share what we've learned. We (mostly me because Chad just started school again) are working on writing a position research paper. Pray for me. It's difficult and I don't know what I'm doing.)</p><p>To counter "The Things We Do To Women" and to bolster what I know to be true about the God I serve, I made a short, non-exhaustive list of "The Things God Does For Women." Do not neglect or forget that he crafted women and loves women. <i>May these stories from Scripture make you clap your hands, shout for joy, and remind you to stand firm in your faith because the days are evil.</i></p><p><b>1. Women can lead and conquer. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=judges+4&version=CSB" target="_blank">Judges 4-5</a> </b></p><p>Deborah, an Old Testament prophet, rebuked Barak, the military commander, for not overcoming their enemies. He told Deborah he would only go to battle if she went, too. She replied, "I'll gladly go, but the victory will be mine, not yours." Long story short, they went and they won! <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=judges+4%3A17-22&version=CSB" target="_blank">Jael is another woman in the story</a> who actually defeated the commander of the enemy's army. In a shrewd and courageous turn of events, she killed him. In the cinematic depiction of my mind's eye, her heart raced and hands trembled as she did the deed. Deborah strategically led the way; Jael conquered the enemy. <i>May we be bold women who strategize, lead well, and face difficulties with courage. </i></p><p><b>2. Women can negotiate with leaders and speak up for our friends and family. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+sam+25&version=CSB" target="_blank">1 Samuel 25</a> </b></p><p>Abigail was married to a "<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+sam+25%3A17&version=CSB" target="_blank">worthless fool</a>." King David asked him for help and he refused. Knowing this meant trouble for her family and estate, she humbly met King David with supplies for him and his men. She could have been immediately killed by the king, but she skillfully negotiated with the most well-known leader of the area and saved her family. <i>May we be brave women who engage all forms of leadership and speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves.</i></p><p><b>3. Women can have careers and fund important ministries. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+8%3A1-3&version=CSB" target="_blank">Luke 8:1-3</a></b></p><p>Mary, Joanna, Susanna, and many others financially supported the ministry of Jesus Christ himself. How did they support him if they didn't have some sort of income? Do not let the words of <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+31%3A10-31&version=CSB" target="_blank">Proverbs 31:10-31</a> be reduced to a nice little cross-stitched pillow that you lean on for Christian comfort. This woman worked tirelessly in the marketplace. She had influence and used her resources well. <i>May we be women who work hard and give generously.</i> </p><p><b>4. Women can learn theology. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+8%3A1-3&version=CSB" target="_blank">Luke 8:34-32</a></b> </p><p>A different Mary sat at Jesus's feet to learn from him. If theology is the study of God, who better to teach it than God Incarnate? Her sister, Martha, scurried around cooking and hosting. Jesus told Martha that Mary made the better choice which is difficult for many of us to hear. What about when there's work to be done, meals to be cooked, projects to be completed, kids to be cared for? Mary set aside her chores and was discipled by Christ. <i>May we be theologically astute women who make time to learn and grow in our faith and love for Jesus.</i></p><p><b>5. Women can share and teach theology. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+16%3A1-3&version=CSB" target="_blank">Romans 16:1-3</a></b></p><p>Phoebe was a benefactor to the Apostle Paul and to many others. Paul called her "diakonos" which can be <a href="https://biblehub.com/greek/1249.htm" target="_blank">translated to servant, deacon, or minister.</a> Many scholars believe that she actually delivered the letter Paul wrote to the church in Rome.<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(1)</span> This means she personally delivered and possibly read one of the most theologically rich books in our sacred Bible with the new church in Rome. Had she discussed the content of the letter with her good friend, Paul? Did the Roman church ask her for clarity? Did she know the answers? Paul considered her a servant, a deacon, a minister. <i>May we be women who are bold enough to share the deep truths of Scripture as we grow in knowledge and understanding of who God is.</i> </p><p><b>6. Women can be the first to lead the way in proclaiming the resurrection of Jesus. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+28%3A1-8&version=CSB">Matthew 28:1-8</a></b></p><p>Mary Magdalene and "the other Mary" had watched Jesus's brutal crucifixion, and after Sabbath went to view his tomb. They did not know they were <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+24%3A5&version=CSB" target="_blank">looking for the living among the dead</a>. And, when Jesus revealed himself, they took hold of his feet and worshipped him. At that point he didn't say, "Be quiet and wait here. I'm going to find more culturally appropriate and reliable witnesses to tell people I'm back." Instead, the living, resurrected Christ bestowed on these women the job to GO and TELL. What other authority is needed to be given than God's? They did not need permission from the disciples because they were considered to be <i>among</i> the disciples. Let that sink in. God used these two women to start the global and historical movement of telling others about Jesus's resurrection. This still happens today! Many church planting movements around the world are still started and led by women! The church in Iran is growing rapidly because <a href="https://www.worldwatchmonitor.org/2017/01/women-central-to-spread-of-christianity-in-iran/" target="_blank">women are sharing Jesus and women are responding</a>. <a href="https://www.christianitytoday.com/history/2018/march/christian-china-bible-women.html" target="_blank">Women have played a prominent and key role</a> in the underground house church movement in China. <a href="https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2021/june-web-only/women-of-color-church-planting-crete-collective-diversity.html" target="_blank">Women are essential</a> to fulfilling Jesus's commissioning statement: Go and make disciples. <i>May we be women who remember Jesus gave us the authority to open our mouths and speak the truth to those around us.</i> </p><p>This list is short. I believe I could write more and more about being women who are empowered by the Holy Spirit to live our lives to the glory of God above all else. The world around us wants us to go home, sit down, and shut up. But Christ lifts our heads and tells us to Go and Speak. May it be so. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="336" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QbUQcbh4TF0" width="511" youtube-src-id="QbUQcbh4TF0"></iframe></div>(If you are reading this on your phone you can't see the video I embedded within the post. So if you would like to listen to a beautiful song called A Woman by Ellie Holcomb and Amy Grant, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbUQcbh4TF0" target="_blank">click here</a>.) <div>______________________________________________</div><div><br />I listened to the Rise and Fall podcast episode after I wrote this post. My heart aches and my soul cries out. As many of you know, I'm a protector and I would encourage every one of my sisters <i>not to listen</i> to this episode. I'm grieved over the way evangelicalism in our country has treated women for so long. I'm grieved at the unwise and undiscerning ways I perpetuated these problems in my ignorance. As you patiently (or impatiently) wait to hear the depth and breadth of what I've learned in my deep dive of women in the church, know this: I'm asking God to use the rest of my days to point to him <i>with all that I have</i> which includes <i>all that I am as a woman.</i> It would be easier for me to stick to the status quo, keep my head down, and just keep ministering to people as I have for years. But when I lift my head I can't help but see the women around me—who trust me, look to me, and want to run to Jesus like me—so I will speak out. I will apologize for wrong things I've taught. I will work to show the God-focused way of unity among men and women. <i>May God help me be a woman who rests in him, works hard to serve him, and carries my brothers and sisters to freedom in Christ like we've never known. </i><p></p><p>For Maddie, who mimicked every move I made when I spoke to my church this spring. <i>Maddie, may you grow to be a mighty woman of God who leads the way in proclaiming Jesus.</i> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='425' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzC9fyx_mGC015KY0UfaWVzJp25RGf9plXegnfej0yy87zNr5sxLV2qmAFqGbueu9e5PDRjYEnrNzRTAQX6tQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">If you believe this post will encourage a woman you know, please share. Tag someone, write an email, send a text. Let the women in your life know you see, value, and pray for them. Lift up the women in your life today. Don't wait. </span></div><p>*If you're listening, kudos to you. If you aren't, double kudos to you. Our obsession with Christian celebrities, Christian controversy, and Christian downfall (all said with air quotes, of course) is dangerous and unwise. True, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy are the guide posts for what we put in our hearts and minds. When I read or hear a story concerning one of these topics, I try to be aware of my motives: Will I pray about this situation? Will this benefit my ministry? Am I getting sucked into the drama or seeking to learn? Just food for thought. </p><p>______________________________________________</p><p><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>1</i></span> <span face=""Open Sans", Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; text-indent: -8px;">Payne, P., 2015. </span><i style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Open Sans", Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-indent: -8px;">Man and Woman, One in Christ</i><span face=""Open Sans", Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; text-indent: -8px;">. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 60-63.</span></p></div>Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-13462859864166354022021-06-19T16:11:00.001-07:002021-06-19T16:11:59.852-07:00Rest, Tenderness, and Compassion (And a Giveaway)Chad and I recently got away for a month long mini-sabbatical. I'm not sure I'll write about the ins and outs of our time away, but I can tell you God met us with his tenderness and compassion in Scripture, through nature, in our marriage, and even in the books we chose to bring with us. But I can't resist sharing just a bit so enjoy a few Hawaii photos before I get to the real point. <br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6e98n_Jv-N4/YMkToVW91tI/AAAAAAAAYG4/bf5W0U8JBH0wq0KTyTOb6hlAX6L1aVU1QCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_5047.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6e98n_Jv-N4/YMkToVW91tI/AAAAAAAAYG4/bf5W0U8JBH0wq0KTyTOb6hlAX6L1aVU1QCLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h480/IMG_5047.HEIC" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So much exploring! I love how happy we both look in this photo. </td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_fCbK08nBDc/YMkTsUBRk-I/AAAAAAAAYG8/8Qg9MnZftE44oiNZ3eQw2Fkc9kcjCd1WACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_5784.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1661" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_fCbK08nBDc/YMkTsUBRk-I/AAAAAAAAYG8/8Qg9MnZftE44oiNZ3eQw2Fkc9kcjCd1WACLcBGAsYHQ/w520-h640/IMG_5784.HEIC" width="520" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We also went out on fancy dates to eat the freshest seafood of our lives. </td></tr></tbody></table><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pGT2yJuFu04/YMkTuW3cK9I/AAAAAAAAYHA/glHG9BWirCgI-lNhKBCCcDs7mVFn_4-1gCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_4972.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pGT2yJuFu04/YMkTuW3cK9I/AAAAAAAAYHA/glHG9BWirCgI-lNhKBCCcDs7mVFn_4-1gCLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h480/IMG_4972.HEIC" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I wish I was sitting right in this spot right at this minute. </td></tr></tbody></table><p>Ok, to cut straight to the <i>real</i> point of this post, the theme of our month away emerged as resting in God's love for us. It sounds so churchy, doesn't it? Like something a Sunday School teacher tells a child? Ask anyone who follows Jesus, "Does God love you?" and they will quickly and assuredly reply, "Oh, yes, of course, <i>unconditionally.</i>" They may even be able to quote a couple of Bible verses at you. But, if you ask the same follower of Jesus, "How are you <i>experiencing</i> God's love for you?" they may flounder and hem and haw. Maybe it's a scheme of the enemy to convince us to dismiss the enormity of God's love so that we hustle, bustle, and struggle all of our days. Maybe our shame struggles tell us we are unloveable. Maybe the difficulties and sufferings of life overwhelm us to the point of denying God's love. There are many factors to be sure. To actually <i>know</i> this great love, to be filled to the measure of the fullness of God's love is one of my personal quests. Read that again slowly: to be filled to the measure of the fullness of God. (For more info about this, read <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+3%3A14-19&version=NIV" target="_blank">Ephesians 3:14-21</a>.) </p><p>The good news is that God loves when his children are on a quest to know his love so he has been answering my heart's cry. I couldn't have imagined how my book journey over the last two months would be so comforting and healing and powerful. One book flowed with love and grace into the next. I did not personally plan this, but I do believe God provided rest for me, even in the books I read leading up to and during sabbatical. We boarded the plane knowing we needed rest and praying God would give it to us. The beauty came in<i> how</i> he provided rest for our very souls. </p><p>The following are books that both Chad and I read. We read them separately and in a different order. It was very fun reading the same books and provided rich conversation. I won't be able to do justice to the work God did in my heart about his steadfast and unfailing love for me because it was a spiritual, personal work. However, I do hope that it piques your interest, better yet, creates a longing to be on your <i>own</i> quest to know his great, great love. Maybe you can choose one or two of these books to read. I hope you will. </p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Delighting-Trinity-Introduction-Christian-Faith/dp/0830839836/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3HK9P66WF3VDZ&dchild=1&keywords=delighting+in+the+trinity&qid=1623791510&sprefix=delighting+in+th%2Caps%2C208&sr=8-1" target="_blank"><i>Delighting in the Trinity </i>by Michael Reeves </a></p><p>I actually read this book before our break, but it set the stage for the other books I read. In my opinion, this is a <i>must read</i> for Christians. I promise it will strengthen your faith in ways you didn't know you needed to be strengthened. Reeves explains God's unfailing, steadfast love through the relationship of the Trinity —God the Father, Jesus the Son, and Holy Spirit — in profound and understandable ways. "But [the Holy Spirit's] real work is to bring us to, and keep us in, the sunshine of God's love. It is there that we will sing heartily; it is there, abiding in Christ that we will bear fruit. The Spirit shares the triune life of God by bringing God's children into the mutual delight of the Father and the Son — and there we become like our God: fruitful and life-giving." </p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gilead-Novel-Marilynne-Robinson/dp/1250784018/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2OAYTOXIT0PDD&dchild=1&keywords=gilead+by+marilynne+robinson&qid=1623791719&sprefix=gil%2Caps%2C233&sr=8-1" target="_blank"><i>Gilead</i> by Marilynne Robinson</a></p><p>Fiction is hard for me. I know, I know. Many of you are appalled by my lack of literary sophistication. I'm trying to learn and grow in this area. I knew I wanted to start my sabbatical time with fiction. A leader I deeply respect ranks Gilead in his top 20 all-time favorites which is how I decided to read it. It was a gentle book, an old pastor writing about his life to his son. Reading the words of an old minister strangely encouraged me to stay the course even as a middle-aged minister. This simple book even gave me insight as a mom of adult kids. I think I will reread it at some point, but it was a tender book which helped me start my respite. </p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Burning-Bones-Authorized-Biography-Translator/dp/0735291624/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2D2MYRZ3PG5M7&dchild=1&keywords=a+burning+in+my+bones+winn+collier&qid=1623791770&sprefix=a+bur%2Caps%2C220&sr=8-1" target="_blank"><i>A Burning in my Bones</i> by Eugene Peterson </a></p><p>If you enjoy biographies, read this asap. So so good. To flow from Gilead, a fictional story about an old minister, into the true story of Eugene Peterson was perfection. I've read many of Pastor Eugene's books, so to have behind the scenes insight into his life added richness and depth to my respect for him. And guess what. He was a man with regular human struggles like all of us. Sometimes I subconsciously wonder if I'm ministering incorrectly because it's so hard. This book reminded me that it is hard for everyone, even famous pastors who endured to the very end. As recounted by someone he ministered to: "Eugene's faithful presence and insistence to wait with me before God brought about deliverance that only comes when someone really moves into the neighborhood of one's soul and decides to stay, to love and care. Too many Christian ministers get impatient with slow learners and profoundly broken people like me. But Eugene didn't. He stayed around, confident that God would heal and restore and mend." May God enable me to stay around and watch God heal and restore and mend. </p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/God-All-Things-Rediscovering-Everyday/dp/0310109086/ref=sr_1_1?crid=WKX1X6LLSLX&dchild=1&keywords=god+of+all+things+andrew+wilson&qid=1623791806&sprefix=god+of+%2Caps%2C219&sr=8-1" target="_blank"><i>God of All Things</i> by Andrew Wilson</a> </p><p>Talk about a total, joy-inducing book! The subtitle of this one is <i>Rediscovering the Sacred in an Everyday World</i>. The words are an accurate description but they certainly don't pack the punch that the actual book does. I've already bought two copies to give away. If you need help lifting your head out of the muck of life, this book will help you. When you read <i>Delighting in the Trinity</i> you will learn that God creates everything out of the overflow of his very magnificent love. This book will tell you about some of the extraordinary stuff God has created! You will learn about dust and stones and honey and galaxies and flowers and trumpets and cities and more. "Everything in creation has theological implications, and one of the joys of being human is figuring out what they are." "Things exist not for their own sakes but to draw us back to God." "Creation preaches to us. The things of God reveal the God of things." There are 30 chapters which means you can even read this as a devotional, one short chapter using the Old and New Testament to describe God's love for us through creation. Soooo good. </p><p><b>Quick book review break:</b> This is just to say even as I'm writing about these books I'm finding myself overwhelmed with gratitude for what God did in my heart and mind through them. I remember reading <i>God of All Things</i> as a turtle swam by in front of me. Hearing, feeling, and knowing God's love produced deep peace in my soul. In Hawaii I discovered an unexplainable joy in sea turtles. I saw and swam with more than I could count. Every time I saw one I fully took it in just in case it was my last. During one ocean swim I asked God if I could see another one. His delight in my question washed over me and he showed me I was like a child asking her Father, "Again, again, again!" And he allowed me to see turtles even up to a few hours before we boarded our plane home. God of all things indeed. </p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/All-Things-New-Restoration-Everything/dp/1400207525/ref=sr_1_2?crid=D8VSGFDEHZOE&dchild=1&keywords=all+things+new+john+eldredge&qid=1623791855&sprefix=all+things+n%2Caps%2C224&sr=8-2" target="_blank"><i>All Things New</i> by John Eldredge</a> </p><p>I brought this book along because it is about Jesus' returning and once and for all establishing his kingdom and all its glory. After the pandemic, political, and racial destruction of the last year and a half, I figured it would provide perspective and hope. Eldredge explains the difference between casual hopes, precious hopes, and ultimate hopes. He takes you on a scriptural journey to explain the rewards God's children will enjoy someday. He finishes the book with helping readers look deep into their longings for heaven and think about the details of your heart's desire in being with God forever. <i>God of All Things</i> enabled me to look to creation to experience God's love for me and <i>All Things New</i> enabled me to look to Christ's return for ultimate hope in knowing God loves me. "If you woke up each morning and your heart leapt with hope, knowing that the renewal of all things was just around the corner —might even come today —you would be one happy person." Amen. </p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Middle-Embracing-Surprises-Challenges/dp/0830848290/ref=sr_1_1?crid=S1FNMAXYOW0I&dchild=1&keywords=marriage+in+the+middle&qid=1623791906&sprefix=marriage+in+%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-1" target="_blank"><i>Marriage in the Middle</i> by Dorothy Littell Greco</a> </p><p>This summer Chad and I will celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. We are both nearing 50. (Chad would want all of you to know that I'm closer to 50 than he is because he likes to be a funny guy.) We have 4 adult kids. We are officially middle-aged. This book was enjoyable to read out loud to each other. Every chapter has discussion questions at the end which we mostly enjoyed talking through (I only cried a few times.) If you've been married 20+ years, get this book and do a health check on your marriage. Our time away together grew our love for each other which is part of me understanding God's love for me. It's all connected. </p><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Lowly-Christ-Sinners-Sufferers/dp/1433566133/ref=sr_1_1?crid=IGSWNLQV4WMH&dchild=1&keywords=gentle+and+lowly+by+dane+ortland&qid=1623791959&sprefix=gentle%2Caps%2C225&sr=8-1" target="_blank"><i>Gentle and Lowly</i> by Dane Ortlund</a> </p><p>I finished the books I brought to read so even though I read this one six months ago, I decided to read it again. It was the perfect book to solidify all that God did in my heart in one short month. Like many of you, I've felt deep pain and relational loss over this last year and half. Compassion fatigue and heavy loneliness have plagued me. Throughout the exhale of the month, I felt God restoring patience, compassion, and love for people in my life and ministry. To wrap up the month, even though I had already read it, God used this book to remind me of his gentle and lowly heart toward me. "When the relationship goes sour, when the feelings of futility come flooding in, when it feels like life is passing us by, when it seems that<b> </b>our one shot at significance has slipped through out fingers, when we can't sort out our emotions, when the longtime friend lets us down, when we feel deeply misunderstood, when we are laughed at by the impressive—in short, when the fallenness of the world closes in on us and makes us want to throw in the towel—there, right there, we have a Friend who knows exactly what such a testing feels like, and sits close to us, embraces us. With us. Solidarity." It isn't an exaggeration to say, in the middle of most chapters, I closed the book, swam out into the deep water, and floated in the waves of God's love. More times than not, my salty tears mingled with the salty ocean. Psalm 90:14 says, "Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days." God gave me a tangible experience through the clear waters of the Pacific to remember his steadfast, unfailing love for me. True, real, all-encompassing, just like the ocean. </p><p><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+1&version=CSB" target="_blank">Deuteronomy</a> </p><p>I would be remiss to not tell you how God moved in my heart through his very Word. This year I switched Bible translations to the Christian Standard Bible. To familiarize myself with the pages and words of my new Bible I'm reading it in chronological order. Because of other circumstances, I was behind on the plan. (Side note: God doesn't care if you aren't on schedule. Let it go, friend. He just wants to spend time with you in Scripture.) Of all places, Deuteronomy moved me. God so faithfully provided for his people though his commands which enabled them to know and trust him. In the end of the book, God tells them/us the commands are not too difficult or beyond reach, that they are not meaningless words but "they are your life" and that "the Lord your God is your life." Deuteronomy reminded me over and over that through the last 30 years of my life, his Word has been life to me, teaching me to love him and showing me that he loves me. I still have so much to learn, and God used this book of the Bible to remind me that he is a faithful God, righteous and true, and the One worthy of life-long pursuit. </p><p>Thank you for reading about my reading journey. I've thumbed through my highlights in each book several times. It provides a good exhale and smile each time. God is loving and faithful in more ways than we can ask or imagine, through books, relationships, nature, but most importantly through his very own self given to us. </p><p>If you could choose two books from my list, which would you read? Would you like an opportunity to win a couple of books? If you know me, you know I love to give away books I love! So much love to share. </p><p>To be entered in a drawing, leave a comment on this post, Facebook, or Instagram. Share what books from my list you'd like to read and why or share what book you've recently read that helped you grow and change. (You must share a real comment to be entered in the drawing, not just your name or "I like books." Don't be lame.) In a week or two I'll draw THREE names because as I already said, I <i>love</i> to give away books I love, especially books that may help you understand more fully how much God loves you. </p><p>May God tangibly show you his great and unfailing love for <i><b>you</b></i> today, this week, this month, no matter what you are facing. "Go to Jesus. All that means is, open yourself up to him. Let him love you." Dane Ortland, <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Lowly-Christ-Sinners-Sufferers/dp/1433566133/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1JKQFQEA0WRF3&dchild=1&keywords=gentle+and+lowly+by+dane+ortland&qid=1624142347&sprefix=gentle+and%2Caps%2C222&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers </a></i></p>Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-86774755270118057942020-05-18T12:17:00.001-07:002020-05-18T18:47:24.448-07:00A Graduation Week Tribute <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
If you know me, you know I like ceremony and tradition. Setting up memorials to point to big events, big memories, and big emotions makes me happy. Slowing down to enjoy celebrating milestones allows me to savor important circumstances and to create lasting mental pictures. When I close my eyes and go through the various files of my mind, I can pull out colorful images and truly remember the who, what, and why of any given important moment. I relish the past because it points me to God's goodness in my life and guides me to trust him for my future. As many of you have heard me say and even read the sign by my front door, I truly believe <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+25%3A6-9&version=ESV">the best is yet to come.</a> </div>
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This week Morgan and Carah graduate from high school. Throughout school they've grown in character and knowledge. Many teachers through the years have spoken to Chad and me about their kindness and leadership which is much more important to us than their grades, although they are also excellent students. You already know, but I'll say it again, we are so so proud of them.<br />
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I enjoyed planning extravagant graduation celebrations for Esther and Kyle and had big plans to finish our family's pre-college school years with gusto. And then, as you all know, the world got a little crazy. School ended abruptly and graduation was canceled. We've cried and released expectations again and again during the last few weeks. But we woke up today determined to celebrate, to remember, and to engage in gratitude for what God has done and will continue to do in their lives. We will have a good week. Our celebrations will be different than I had planned, but you better believe, Morgan and Carah will be celebrated!<br />
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Please enjoy reading a few fun tidbits about my sweet girlies.<br />
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Obviously they have always been besties. They still hold hands and it makes me so happy. They are fiercely protective of each other and they are also easily annoyed with each other. They are sisters, after all.<br />
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Morgan and Carah love the arts. They can sing and act. When we went to meet their choir and drama teachers before their freshman year, I totally embarrassed them by telling their teachers that they had real talent. I realize it was completely dorky of me, but I wasn't wrong. And now I think their teachers even agree with me. Being cast as two of the leads in the spring musical is proof of their talent. Am I right? If you came to their play than you know what I'm talking about.<br />
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Morgan earned a fine arts seal on her diploma by completing a capstone project. She directed a play for a state competition that earned the superior rating for the project. She worked so hard, pushed past her natural people pleasing tendencies, and it paid off. She is extremely creative and artistic. When she was in 2nd grade, she took a ton of "trash" out of the recycle bin and made a whole farm, barn and all. She also sings so beautifully. I could listen to her all day. Throughout the years, Morgan has been a trusted listener for many of her friends. She exudes natural empathy and kindness. Children flock to her. It's actually kind of weird how good she is with kids. She will take her traits of empathy, peace-exuding, kid-organizing greatness and study elementary education at the University of Arizona. A principal in town already offered her a job, never mind that he's known Morgan her whole life. He knows she'll be a phenomenal teacher. Chad and I are confident she will change the lives of many kids through the years.<br />
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Carah qualified for the state swim meet all four years of high school. What's remarkable to me is that she didn't swim on a team until the summer after 7th grade. She was just a natural. She is also a natural leader. Throughout her school years teachers would tell me if they could get Carah to participate, most of the class would follow her. She doesn't really care what people think so she speaks pretty directly to problems, but not too quickly because she also doesn't care for unnecessary drama. She is organized and caring, but in very practical ways. She will take these organizational skills and non-people pleasing but caring character traits and study nursing at the University of Arizona. School comes fairly easy to her, so we know she will do well. If all else fails, she can sing to her patients because she also has the voice of an angel. She does, however, really like to please Chad and me and is our kid who loves to spend time with us, especially by herself. And, she is the member of our family who regularly makes us all belly laugh. She's stinking hilarious. </div>
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It may sound cliche to you, but I don't care. They have truly become some of my best friends. I love being around them, laughing with them, listening to their hopes, dreams, and fears. When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I burst into tears. Chad laughed with joy and I wept with fear. He was so right. They have brought so much joy to our lives. They couldn't be more different from each other, but they couldn't be more dependent and important to each other. They are intellectually intelligent and emotionally intelligent. Training, helping, and watching them grow through the years has been incredible. I'm confident they will press into Jesus for much, much, much more training, helping, and growing. And, the cherry on top is they truly make me laugh. </div>
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Just in case you missed the point, I'm super proud of them. We will celebrate their graduation this week like nobody's business. Nothing will stand in our way. Tradition-shmadition. We're making new ones!<br />
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Congratulations, Morgan and Carah! Class of 2020! You guys were amazing K-12th graders and so much goodness is coming your way. Don't forget, good does not mean easy. Lots of good things come through hard work, challenge, difficulty, and even heartache. But the really great news is you don't have to walk through any of it alone. Obviously, Jesus is with you always. Also, you are blessed to have a twin. Of course, you are stuck with Dad, me, Kyle, and Esther. And good news, you are surrounded by friends and family who will be joining us all week to celebrate and will follow and support you for your whole life. You are so loved. </div>
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Happy graduation week, my darlings! Dad and I love you so dearly. </div>
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Want to encourage the graduates? Leave a comment, send a text, or stop by with a present. All forms of love accepted by these Class of 2020 young ladies. </div>
Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-40374232641543137482020-04-16T16:27:00.002-07:002020-04-16T16:28:31.418-07:00Good Gifts and a Giveaway I've put off writing this post for awhile now. I had the idea and then everything flipped upside down and it just didn't seem cool to write about what I had been enjoying.<br />
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But, my birthday is this week, so this is my birthday gift to you all: Some things that bring me joy mixed with a pretty good giveaway that THREE people can win. Based on comments and entries in my past giveaways, the odds are truly in your favor so go ahead and participate.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ilOV5dr-a3Q/XpintB_E2LI/AAAAAAAAUvc/oIGLiJ61vCI8c4sAUM_RRE3Bv65TqPEkgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_3079.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ilOV5dr-a3Q/XpintB_E2LI/AAAAAAAAUvc/oIGLiJ61vCI8c4sAUM_RRE3Bv65TqPEkgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/IMG_3079.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blooming flowers in our church building's courtyard. Oh how I miss gathering with my people. </td></tr>
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The truth is I've been pretty sad over the last five weeks. Can anyone relate? This sadness presses my body down and makes me feel tired most of the time. My daily prayer is that joy will outweigh the sadness and that I will cling to Jesus through Scripture, music, and being outside. Which leads me to the first thing I've been enjoying: The Psalms. I read a few each day and let the emotion, struggle, and God-focusedness wash over me. The words of each Psalm ring so, so true for our lives right now. I'm praying Psalm 20 for you, my friends:<br />
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<span class="chapter-2" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="text Ps-20-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="chapternum" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; bottom: 0.1em; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Arial; font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold; left: -3em; line-height: 0.8em; position: absolute;"> </span><b>May the <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span> <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14184A" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14184A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>answer you in the day of trouble!</b></span></span><b><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">May <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14184B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14184B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>the name of the God of Jacob <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14184C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14184C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>protect you!</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Ps-20-2" id="en-ESV-14185" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>May he send you help from <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14185D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14185D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>the sanctuary</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-2" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">and give you support from <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14185E" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14185E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>Zion!</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Ps-20-3" id="en-ESV-14186" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>May he <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14186F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14186F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>remember all your offerings</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-3" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices! <span class="selah" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; margin-left: 2em;">Selah</span></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span class="text Ps-20-4" id="en-ESV-14187" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>May he <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14187G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14187G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>grant you your heart's desire</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-4" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">and fulfill all your plans!</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Ps-20-5" id="en-ESV-14188" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>May we shout for joy over <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14188H" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14188H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>your salvation,</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-5" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">and in the name of our God set up our <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14188I" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14188I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>banners!</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Ps-20-5" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">May the <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span> fulfill all your petitions!</span></b></div>
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<b><span class="text Ps-20-6" id="en-ESV-14189" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>Now I know that the <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span> saves his anointed;</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-6" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">he will answer him from his holy heaven</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-6" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">with <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14189J" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14189J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>the saving might of his right hand.</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Ps-20-7" id="en-ESV-14190" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span>Some trust in <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14190K" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14190K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>chariots and some in <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14190L" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14190L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>horses,</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-7" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14190M" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14190M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>but we trust in the name of the <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span> our God.</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Ps-20-8" id="en-ESV-14191" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"><br /></span>They collapse and fall,</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-8" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">but we rise and stand upright.</span></span></b></div>
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<b><span class="text Ps-20-9" id="en-ESV-14192" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: Arial; left: -4.4em; line-height: 22px; position: absolute; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"><br /></span>O <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span>, save <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14192N" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14192N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>the king!</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-20-9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">May he answer us when we call.</span></span></b></div>
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Amen! May we call on the Lord our God and may we faithfully wait for him. Don't make excuses to not seek him. We must open our Bibles whether we feel like it or not. He's all we truly have, so let's cling to him.<br />
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Worship music reorients my mind in good ways. There are two new albums I play over and over. They've been out for a couple of months now so maybe you've heard of them. I want to share anyway, just in case you haven't. And, please feel free to send me your favorite worship songs or albums. My friend, Sara, regularly sends me new music and I love it.<br />
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The first is Matt Redman's Let There Be Wonder. <a href="https://mattredman.lnk.to/LetThereBeWonder">Here is the link</a> to listen to it through your preferred streaming service. Funny story: I found myself humming one of the catchy songs on this album fairly regularly. It was always in my head, but I couldn't really learn the words because it is in Spanish. I asked Kyle to listen to it because I'm that annoying mom who is super proud of his language abilities so I push all Spanish stuff his way, especially if it is Jesus Spanish stuff. He looooves it, only he probably doesn't. One day I was listening to the whole album, focusing on each song so I could learn them and sing along. Guess what I discovered! The Spanish song is also in English! I had just never noticed. I'm so good at details, you know. Why I noticed the Spanish version and not the English, we shall never know the mysteries of my brain.<br />
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The next album I'd like to recommend is Shane & Shane's newest one, Hymns in the Round. Here it is on <a href="https://music.apple.com/us/album/hymns-in-the-round/1497795755">Apple Music </a>and <a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/06mNMNp8K3S2YtrAzlacOf">Spotify.</a> Every song is excellent. We recently started singing Ancient of Days over our <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SecondMileArts">Sunday livestream gatherings</a>. It's been an important song in my life for over a year now. Every word is a balm for my weary soul. If you aren't sure where 'Ancient of Days' comes from, what it means, or why it is important, please take time to read <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel+7&version=ESV">Daniel 7</a>, specifically <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel+7%3A13-14&version=ESV">verses 13 and 14</a>. We must keep Jesus our focus. His dominion is an everlasting dominion and his kingdom shall not be destroyed.<br />
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To be honest, the next thing I'd like to tell you about may be a little much for some of you. It's intense and needed for this generation which my intense, prophet heart loves, but it is no joke. Have you heard of or watched <a href="http://www.americangospelfilm.com/">American Gospel</a>? There are two movies and they are total butt kickers. If you are able to watch, prepare yourself. <a href="http://www.americangospelfilm.com/watch-christ-alone-ag1">The first movie, Christ Alone</a>, tears down America's love of prosperity. If you think you don't fall in this category, think again. Something in it will convict you. It certainly did for me. <a href="http://www.americangospelfilm.com/watch-christ-crucified-ag2.html">The second Movie, Christ Crucified</a>, goes after all the ways American culture waters down the cross. If you want to know more about how to discern false teaching, this movie will help. It truly angered me how susceptible we all are to terrible teaching. Sound like a fun series to watch? Well, good isn't always fun. Sometimes good is also difficult. They are long movies, so it may take awhile to get through them, but as it turns out, we've got some time on our hands.<br />
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Now we enter the giveaway portion of this post. See what I did there? Made you read all that other stuff to get to the goods.<br />
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You all know I like books. I had my spring list ready to go, but to be honest, reading takes hard work for me these days. Sadness that leads to tiredness and reading takes focus so it isn't compelling right now. To top it off, I was reading <a href="http://www.sayable.net/about">Lore Ferguson Wilbert's</a> new book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Handle-Care-Jesus-Redeems-Ministry-ebook/dp/B083TNCMJD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=handle+with+care&qid=1587063568&sr=8-1">Handle with Care: How Jesus Redeems the Power of Touch in Life and Ministry</a> when life flipped upside down. To read about touch in a time when we are not even supposed to be close to one another sucked, but I finished it. It was a good read and I look forward to healing hugs again. Here are the books on my spring list. I've read all but two and will start another one today.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q2ULj3pWwnI/XpinRqo0KkI/AAAAAAAAUvM/oSEbWLPp_SoqODj77Qtgb0SDFOVvBkWOwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_2976.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q2ULj3pWwnI/XpinRqo0KkI/AAAAAAAAUvM/oSEbWLPp_SoqODj77Qtgb0SDFOVvBkWOwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/IMG_2976.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm not going to link them all. You can easily find them where ever you purchase your books. </td></tr>
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I'm giving away two copies of <a href="https://www.lifeway.com/en/product/chasing-vines-P008010951">Beth Moore's Chasing Vines</a> and one copy of Audacious, also written by her (which is out of stock so bonus for you). Both are excellent books, compelling, deep, and easy to read.<br />
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If you win a book you will also receive a $25 gift card to<a href="https://jesussaidlove.com/lovely-enterprises"> Lovely Enterprises</a> or <a href="https://www.whyilovewhereilive.com/">Why I Love Where I Live.</a> If you are from Tucson, you already know and love Why I Love Where I Live. I'm always happy to support them as they continue to inspire people to love the city I so dearly love. <a href="https://jesussaidlove.com/lovely-enterprises">Lovely Enterprises </a>is associated with <a href="https://jesussaidlove.com/">Jesus Said Love</a> in Waco, Tx. They seek to change the lives of people impacted by the commercial sex industry. I'm wearing my new favorite shirt from their shop in this photo:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nIeRjVlplRE/XpinVUO8yaI/AAAAAAAAUvQ/8eAr767ogRcykLgAGJGs71vSa2qDTrY-wCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_2959.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nIeRjVlplRE/XpinVUO8yaI/AAAAAAAAUvQ/8eAr767ogRcykLgAGJGs71vSa2qDTrY-wCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/IMG_2959.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://ourlovelystore.com/">Lovely Enterprises Shop</a></td></tr>
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It's my birthday month, so this is my gift to <b>three</b> happy winners. You will each win a book plus one $25 gift card to your choice of Lovely Enterprises or WILWIL. All you have to do is comment on this post, on Facebook, or on Instagram. Tell me something you are enjoying during these days. That's it. I'll choose the winners sometime next week.<br />
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Thanks for reading. As you all know, it is a weird, weird time in our world. In my opinion, there is no better time to be lifting our faces to Jesus, waiting on him, and making our gratitude lists. What are you thankful for today? <br />
Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-15747129327055781992020-02-14T11:59:00.000-08:002020-02-14T15:15:50.397-08:00Empty to Full :: Lessons from Romans 8 People often declare "I'm so glad such and such year is over" or "Such and such year was the worst year yet." I'm not one to proclaim such extremes because every given year has victories, defeats, joys, and heartaches. This is my disclaimer as I head into sharing how God used January 2020 to fill me up after the emptying that was 2019.<br />
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I would never give details as to why I ended 2019 depleted, but I can say God stretched me through ministering to others in both brutal and beautiful ways. As many of you have heard, I studied Isaiah last year. (Hopefully soon I can muster the courage to write about some of what I learned through the study.) I'm confident God equipped me to do what he asked me to do by meeting me in the depths of Isaiah. He truly strengthened me with his power in my inner being through his Holy Spirit <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+3%3A16&version=NIV">(Ephesians 3:16)</a>. Nevertheless, December arrived and my heart was heavy and sad. There were no reasons/words to explain the sadness. It just blanketed my heart. So I read Scripture about <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+11%3A1-5&version=ESV">Christ coming once</a> and Scripture about <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+25&version=ESV">Christ coming again.</a> His promised return was the hope I clung to through the jingle jangle holiday noise. I looked to the change of the decade with trepidation and leaky eyes. 2020 would prove 15 years of leading Second Mile, 25 years of marriage, and would usher in an empty nest.<br />
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Separately, Chad and I both felt prompted to set aside the month of January for some intensive spiritual emptying and replenishing. I floundered a bit after studying Isaiah, my head spinning, some of the dust settling, and not exactly sure what next step to take. I tried to work through a Bible study by a famous author and it only annoyed me (because of me, not because of the study). I looked into some other in depth book studies but felt frustrated and overwhelmed. In desperately needing something for my soul, I gave up all the "I shoulds" and simply read a few Psalms and Romans 8 every single day. (If you aren't familiar with <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+8&version=ESV">Romans 8</a>, stop right now, go open your Bible or <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+8&version=ESV">click on the link</a> and read it.) I knew it was a meaty, beautiful, redemptive chapter, but I couldn't have known how God would use it to completely revive my weak, depleted self.<br />
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May what God showed me through these January lessons from Romans 8 encourage you. Do not compare your own journey to mine. It pushes me to pursue God when others around me tell me how and what they are learning. My motives are to humbly strengthen your faith as I show you how God strengthened mine.<br />
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As January began, I didn't know what or how to pray for myself. He showed me that it didn't matter, that not only was the Holy Spirit interceding for me (vs 26), but Christ himself is at the right hand of God interceding for me (vs 34). Immediately he put me at ease that he knew exactly what I needed and was praying on my behalf.<br />
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One reason I couldn't escape the exhaustion of the last year is because I replayed conversations, events, and situations over and over in my mind, sometimes through prayer, but often simply because my brain was stuck. Through verses 1-8 he showed me how I had set my mind on things of this world and on things of the flesh. He very clearly says to do so is death. There is no life in dwelling on what I cannot understand or change. In the <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+2%3A4&version=ESV">kindness of God </a>he rebuked me, led me to confession and repentance, and reminded me that to set my mind on the Spirit is life and peace (vs 6). Prayerfully with God's help, this verse will forever be written on my heart. When I start to despair about the past or the future, he brings this verse to mind and leads me to life in Christ which is peace. Thank you, Jesus.<br />
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He reminded me of how secure I am in Christ. He reminded me that to be led by the Holy Spirit is to prove that my adoption by him is secure (vs 14). When the Bible speaks of a follower of Jesus being secured in his eternal family because of adoption, it resonates with me because adoption is momentous in my earthly family. But the passage goes on to say because we are adopted we can cry out to our Father (vs 15). Through a little more study, I learned the word 'cry' (krazo) means to scream, to cry aloud. This isn't a soft little whimper. This is a guttural "I NEED HELP, DAD!" He knew I cried out in this way many times last year and then he met me in the moment of reading this passage to hear my deep cry for restoration. I've continued to find healing from shame concerning emotion. The Holy Spirit removed yet another layer of shame as he invited me to cry aloud to him because I'm his daughter.<br />
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And then, the whole next section bolstered my understanding of deep guttural groaning for God! Our sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us (vs 18). What a promise! Then he says creation groans for Christ's return (vs 22), we groan for his return so that our bodies can be redeemed which means no more suffering (vs 24), and that the Holy Spirt himself groans as he intercedes for us (vs 26). I can't even express how these words describe how I felt over the last year, how I groaned for an end to suffering and for his return over and over. I can hardly make it through a song about Christ's return without tears streaming down my face. But then he reminded me through verses 24 and 25, that as his adopted kids, we hope for his return, but we hope for it with patience. Groaning through grumbling and complaining is entirely and completely different than groaning with longing and expectation. The line is easily seen and crossed when my disgust and discontentment is woefully disguised as hope. My God-focused hope is displayed through groaning that longs for God's glory in the whole world, for God to make all things new, for God to wipe away every single tear, for God to end suffering forever SO THAT every knee will bow in worship and WE WILL enjoy our one, true, holy, righteous, loving Lord God forever and ever. Come quickly, Jesus, and we wait for you with patience.<br />
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There is more I could share, but the final lesson I want to explain is the most personal. As I stated above, this is a big year for Chad and me: 15 years at Second Mile, 25 years of marriage, and launching our last two kids resulting in an empty nest. One of my main strengths is that I'm a very present person which enhances my relational abilities. I don't dwell on the past and I don't look to the future; I'm mostly fully present. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? What this means in real life is it is difficult to see myself in future circumstances. The short story is for more than 20 years, I've been <i>very</i> present with my kids. I would say being their mom is some of the best of who I am. Yes, I know I won't stop being their mom when they leave home, but it does change. I can easily see with Kyle and Esther that our relationship has only gotten better, and I'm believing the same will be true for Morgan and Carah. I'm not afraid of it. My fears come out in the very practical thoughts of <i>what will I do</i>? As I stated earlier, I am present. I can't see myself in the future without the daily grind of caring for my kids. My heart feels squished when I try to envision it. It's vulnerable to tell you I've asked God to speak to me through his Word about this for many months now. On one of the last days of this emptying and filling Romans 8 process, he answered my prayers in the simplest, most beautiful ways in a passage I've read probably a thousand times (literally). "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" At this point in the month, my heart was FULL of God's love. He met me, healed me, replenished me, rejuvenated me, and refilled my emptiness. He then whispered to my heart that <i>nothing</i> will separate me... things present OR things to come. The same love that I'm experiencing in the present moment is the same love that will carry me in all things future. It truly is such a simple idea, one church kids hear in Sunday school. But, he so lovingly answered my prayer to speak to me <i>through</i> Scripture and not my own knowledge about launching my kids. He will uphold me because I am secure in the steadfast, unfailing love of God. The sure-footing of his love will ground me as Chad and I launch our last two kids. Simple and still profound. He is good and <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=hebrews+4%3A12&version=ESV">his Word is living and active.</a><br />
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Through the emptying process of January, emptying of fatigue, of expectation, of myself, God faithfully filled me back up, with his love, his presence, and his Word. I'm ready for what's next, but not because I'm confident to achieve anything for or through myself, but because my confidence is in Christ. May he continue to establish and strengthen our faith and cause us to overflow with gratitude. I will never ever stop telling you that God faithfully uses his Word in our lives. Do not give up. Keep reading. You will reap a harvest if you do not give up.Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-15286691160118656682019-12-05T12:13:00.000-08:002019-12-05T12:22:46.787-08:00Please Come With Me At the end of my last <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2019/11/going-second-mile-for-fifteen-years.html">very long blog post,</a> I offered a book giveaway. Around 30 people entered, which I think it great odds. Most giveaways on social media have 877 bajillion entries and so I rarely bother which is the downside of pessimism. I trained in being pessimistic about giveaways the hard way. When we had a season of being <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2010/08/to-blog-or-to-live.html">the parents of eight kids,</a> I faithfully entered my grocery store sweepstakes every single week. I was convinced I'd win the $5000 grocery gift card if I kept up the good work. Alas, optimism didn't win out either. But I digress...<br />
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I'm pleased to announce that Suzie G and Dawn E won a copy of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Advent-Future-Coming-Jesus-Christ/dp/0802876196/ref=sxts_sxwds-bia?crid=26SNGZN7BVTKK&keywords=advent+the+once+and+future+coming+of+jesus+christ&pd_rd_i=0802876196&pd_rd_r=0e45156f-c75f-4b73-b014-833dde0b4357&pd_rd_w=OFGiI&pd_rd_wg=GJ994&pf_rd_p=1cb3f32a-ccfd-479b-8a13-b22f56c942c6&pf_rd_r=E32MR2KWYR481FMMX8D3&psc=1&qid=1575570847&sprefix=advent+the+once%2Caps%2C185">Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus.</a> Ladies, I hope you enjoy it like I have. I'll bring it to you on Sunday.<br />
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This book is not for the faint of heart. If you are looking for a happy happy joy joy merry merry Christmas it isn't for you. But, if you are looking to be reminded of why Jesus came as a baby and will come again in glory then join me in reading this fantastical, soul-bolstering collection of sermons. I'm currently re-reading it and it is exactly what I need for this month. </div>
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While I have you here, I've decided it's time to share the Retreat de Moxie videos with everyone. It is a difficult process for me to release them because I can't redo the mistakes I see in them. (2w1 problems, if you know what I mean.) It requires humility/humiliation, but I do trust I did my best to honor God in what I said. Be assured, if you hear a mistake, I heard it, too. But, I also know you will hear that God loves you deeply, has taken your shame, and that he is worthy of all you have. What else would even need to be said? </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">I love these women and many more who couldn't join us this year.</td></tr>
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Here they are: </div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcmELQRmySU&feature=youtu.be">Session One: The Deep Waters of Being Created </a></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2saU0XDXA0&feature=youtu.be">Session Two: Mighty Women of God</a> (I shared this one in <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2019/10/for-my-daughters-sisters-and-friends.html">this blog post.</a>) </div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWuyVwQ6qQA&feature=youtu.be">Session Three: The Deep Waters of Being Chosen and Cherished </a> </div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqcyDcwqYBY&feature=youtu.be">Session Four: The Deep Waters of God's Presence Now and Forever </a></div>
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Each session begins with an intro about what is happening during our retreat. You may want to skip ahead to get to the teaching. Also, if you would like to have a copy of the retreat booklet with notes and resources, <a href="http://secondmile520.org/who-we-are/leadership/">please email me</a> and I will send it to you. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">Picture yourself here as you listen to the messages. 💛</td></tr>
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You may already know this, but I am passionate about helping women love God with all they have, find freedom in Christ, and remain faithful to him for their <b style="font-style: italic;">whole</b> life. I'm confident you already know this: Life is really, really hard. It sucks, in fact. Even when things are smooth sailing people around us are struggling, and then when sailing turns smooth for others, giant waves rise up and smack us in the face. This is one reason I won't give up "meeting with people as some are in the habit of doing. But [I] will encourage you all the more as we wait for the Day when we see Jesus face to face." (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=hebrews+10%3A25&version=NIV">Hebrews 10:25</a> paraphrase added)</div>
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Enjoy the teaching sessions whether it's the first time you are hearing them or you were at the retreat and want to watch again. You can be confident as you watch that I mean what I say, I'm striving to live it, and dragging/pushing/hoping you'll come along with me. </div>
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Please come with me, </div>
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Angel </div>
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Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-46840576041987151972019-11-14T13:55:00.000-08:002019-11-14T16:48:27.144-08:00Going the Second Mile for Fifteen Years On a cold November day in 2004, we said goodbye to Lincoln, Nebraska and headed to sunny Tucson, Arizona. In preparation we prayed, gathered a team, strategized, and wrestled with God about what it would look like to drive across the country to start a church. From scratch. With no job. In a city we had never lived.<br />
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For whatever reason (the Holy Spirit shielding my normally worried heart), I had no fear. Through prayer, I believed God had revealed to me that Chad would obtain a management position at Starbucks (he did), that our kids wouldn't suffer from lack of fancy kids ministry (they didn't), and that our friends moving to help in this process were our allies and teammates (they still are).<br />
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The early days of church planting were exciting and difficult. Our team of 10 was on a steep learning curve. Everyone scrambled to find jobs, to make friends, and to invite any and every person we met to be part of a new church in Tucson we called <a href="http://www.secondmile520.org/">Second Mile</a>. Our growth seemed super slow in the beginning, especially because I had naively and stupidly asked God to give us 1000 people in the first year.<a href="https://www.nmsuchristianchallenge.org/about-us.html"> My DNA</a> was infused with the truth that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+2%3A2&version=NIV">"more time spent with fewer people equals greater lasting impact for the kingdom,"</a> but the American mega church culture tricked me into wanting the numbers. But God, as is always true, had a better plan.<br />
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Second Mile is now 15 years old. Thankfully, by God's mercy and grace to me, I've learned some stuff through the years. A "15 lessons I've learned in 15 years" list would be so nice right now, but my brain doesn't work like that, so here a few thoughts rumbling around in my guts.<br />
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One major point of learning is that books are my friends. A bit of critique that Chad and I received when we were young leaders is that we weren't readers. It stung and I was indignant so I've spent all the years from that point working to prove that person wrong. My motives maybe weren't great, but here we are. In the 15 years of Second Mile, I've read many books, good, bad, and mediocre. I pray I will always be able to read and implement good lessons into my life and leadership. Currently, in the middle of my life, I think I'm reading better than ever, and that's pretty fun. Recently on separate occasions, two women I admire told me I was smart, and it blew my mind. Self-doubt comes easy for me, so their words were a bolstering gift and encouragement to keep reading, learning, and growing.<br />
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To be more specific about reading and learning in the last 15 years, the Bible is absolutely necessary for me and for our church. You may have heard this, but when we were just trying to start a church, Chad went to a conference and felt God telling him to preach Scripture, word by word. All these years later, he's still at it. His discipline spurs on my own personal discipline. I can't imagine doing anything I do without the guidance of the Holy Spirit through the Bible. It is <i>life</i> for me.<br />
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<i>Your words were found and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts. </i></div>
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<i>Jeremiah 15:16</i> </div>
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The next area of growth for me came through the many times I wanted to give up. The name, Second Mile, lends itself to us being put to the test fairly regularly. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A41&version=ESV">Jesus told us to not just go one mile with people, but to go two.</a> In the first couple of years, my family was faced with a challenge that showed me the depth of my weakness and how God would work <i>through</i> us to love people and honor him. One late night, I said to Chad, "Maybe we should have named our church "One Mile Community Church" or "Easy Street Church" because I'm afraid the 'second mile' will be the death of us." And it has been. Over and over, dying to my own rights, laying down my life, focusing on Christ's strength in my weakness.<br />
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<i>I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me. </i></div>
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<i>Galatians 2:20 </i></div>
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<i>If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.</i></div>
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<i>Luke 9:23 </i></div>
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<i>But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, </i></div>
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<i>so that Christ's power may rest on me. </i></div>
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<i>2 Corinthians 12:9</i></div>
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Last year, God very clearly convicted me of my verbal sin of saying, "I don't want to do this anymore." What we speak out loud becomes our reality. I knew I couldn't/wouldn't quit because I'm stubborn, but my words soured my heart and disposition to obeying God's direction in my life with reverent joy. Stubbornness would never sustain long-term obedience. I had to quit quitting with my words so that my heart would stop being tempted to really quit.<br />
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<i>Let us not become wearing in doing good for in the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 </i></div>
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<i>Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not give up. </i></div>
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<i>2 Corinthians 4:1</i> </div>
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Recently, God clearly showed me one experience that helps me not give up. I know this will be difficult for some people to read. Please don't let it heap shame on you. Instead, let my life and words encourage you to press in and keep going. Sunday morning gatherings with my church jolt me with the ability to wake up each Monday and continue on in the battle of life. I hate missing it. When I show up on Sunday, I feel like we look in each other's eyes with an understanding that life really sucks sometimes and then gently remind each other that Jesus is our everything. When we worship through singing, it feels like I'm pushing back the darkness and reminding our enemy that he's defeated and Christ is King. When I open the Bible to receive teaching, it feels like my parched self from the long week fills up with the Living Water. When I see people I love, whether I personally know them or not, it reminds me that I'm not alone, that we are in this together, that I need my brothers and sisters and they need me. Through the years, I've learned that not everyone feels this way about Sunday worship. If you are in that space, I pray God redeems gathering with his Church for you very, very soon. Sit and weep, stand and sing, watch and pray, whatever is necessary for your heart to be bolstered for the daily, weekly, yearly battle until we finally see him face to face. The gathered Church is our reminder that this is not our home, that Jesus is coming again, that he will make all things glorious and new, and that God's glory will rest on us for eternity. Come quickly, Jesus.<br />
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<i>Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. </i></div>
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<i>Hebrews 10:25</i> </div>
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One of my favorite fruits of longevity in Second Mile is deep, deep relationships. People have hard lives and when you are in community with one another it leaks out and you can't stop it. It amazes me how many people love me anyway. Chad and I have walked with people in joy, suffering, and grief, both theirs and our own. You cannot go through life's valleys and mountains with people and not love them more. For me, it is impossible. When I close my eyes and scroll through 15 years of faces, my heart swells. A few years ago at our women's retreat, as I shared from Ephesians 1:16 the phrase "continually thankful and continually prayerful" came out of my mouth over and over. This will always be a major theme of how I feel about the people of Second Mile. <br />
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However, the years have also had moments of great relational difficultly. When we started Second Mile, we had heard many stories of "post-moderns" leaving churches because of hurt and pain caused by the church. People continue to come to us not sure they can engage because of wounding of past church experiences. It grieves me. However, what I did not anticipate is <i>we would</i> become the source of pain for some, that people would leave us with wounds we caused, that we would not always be given the opportunity for reconciliation. This has grieved me so much more. What I've learned is that, in most cases, there truly are two sides to the story. I can easily say Chad and I and other Second Mile leaders are doing the best we know how to do, but we are sinners and make mistakes. I never thought we would be a perfect church, but I didn't anticipate just how imperfect we would be. When we receive hurting people in our body who have left a church, I now appreciate and experientially know the people they left are also hurting. There have been times I wondered if my relational heart would survive another person leaving us. It has been deeply painful and it takes continual work to prevent my heart from building walls to protect itself. Living up to people's expectations is a false burden I constantly have to lay down. I do hope to continue to love people with Jesus' help to the best of my ability, even though sometimes they will leave. Which leads me to the best lesson of all:<br />
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All of these 15 years, ever single one is for Jesus alone. Every meeting, every book, every late night, every early morning, every shared meal, every event, every training, every conflict, every friendship. Everything. It's all for him. Sometimes I'm slow and my motives turn to myself, to Chad, or my kids, or the people I serve. When my vision is skewed and I look to anything other than Jesus, I lose perspective, joy, and the desire to continue. He alone is worthy of my service and worship. Whatever comes out of my life and flows to others must be from Jesus alone. He is the very center of my affections. This will be a daily, life-long choice: Jesus is better.<br />
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<i>And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is he beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. Colossians 1:17-18</i></div>
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This list could go on and on. Chad and I believe we are just scratching the surface of all God will continue to teach us through leading Second Mile. We pray God grants us years and years of serving him in this particular family. If you are part of Second Mile, I'm thankful for you. If you have been part of our church in the past, I'm thankful for you. I've you've ever prayed for my family, my church, or me, I'm thankful for you.<br />
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<i>Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members so not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.</i></div>
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<i>Romans 12:4-5 </i></div>
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If you could each experience in your hearts and minds how serious I take this verse, it would certainly overwhelm you and possibly freak you out. But I believe it. We belong to one another. There's no escaping. We deal with it now or in eternity, so I plan to keep working it out in this life in order to more fully enjoy the life to come.<br />
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With <b>so much</b> gratitude and love,<br />
<br />
Angel<br />
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<i>Congratulations on making it all the way through this long post! As a form of reward for your diligence </i><b style="font-style: italic;">I want to give two of you my current book obsession.</b><i> I love Christmas (more on that later) and to help me truly focus on why I love it, I read books. Last year I read </i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Advent-Future-Coming-Jesus-Christ/dp/0802876196/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3FT5WVPE0X4TD&keywords=advent+by+fleming+rutledge&qid=1573767155&sprefix=advent+by+fle%2Caps%2C190&sr=8-1" style="font-style: italic;">Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus Christ</a><i>, and this year I'm reading it again. A good friend of mine described it as fantastical and he is not wrong. So, so good. I wish all of you would read it. </i><br />
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<i>If you'd like a chance to win a copy, all you have to do is comment on the blog post, on Facebook, or on Instagram. <b>One catch,</b> you have to leave a real comment. None of this "What a nice post, Angel. So sweet and precious." Um, no. Give me some meat. Did anything in the post challenge or encourage you? What have you learned in your time in Second Mile or in your own church? A legit comment. My guess is your chances of winning will be high because the requirements are too high for many people. Doooo it! </i><br />
<br />Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-64838627752229318122019-10-24T10:28:00.000-07:002019-10-24T14:22:19.069-07:00For My Daughters, Sisters, and Friends Chad and I have been working on a research project for a year and a half. I can honestly say it is the deepest I've ever studied one single doctrinal topic. Through the years I've read a variety of theology books and countless nonfiction books on numerous church, biblical, and historical subjects. I like to learn and feel it is my personal responsibility to lead with growing knowledge and accountability. Books written by brilliant scholars from diverse backgrounds and perspectives widen, deepen, and strengthen my own learning and leadership abilities.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">For my daughters. I will strive to model strong femininity for them all my days. </td></tr>
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As long as I can remember I've been singled out to be a leader. In first grade, my lovely teacher often praised me for my good work in front of the class. She would point to me as a model student. In middle school, I was a little rougher around the edges and one of my poor teachers who couldn't control me/the class, sat down with the principal and me to explain that if I would just stop being a brat, the class would probably follow along. (I don't remember if I complied or not, but maybe for a week or two?) I lost my footing a bit in high school, but still remember leading in different ways. In college I led small groups, mentored underclassmen, and went on summer missions.<br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A7YLUEonyZk/XbHdrdZ91YI/AAAAAAAAAW0/JhoT-7UUNG8Rq-4fMoFZndY7iQxcVV6sgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/72274907_10162259981160562_2347792964111040512_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A7YLUEonyZk/XbHdrdZ91YI/AAAAAAAAAW0/JhoT-7UUNG8Rq-4fMoFZndY7iQxcVV6sgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/72274907_10162259981160562_2347792964111040512_o.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Chad and I have been in full time ministry for 23 years now. I can hardly believe it as I type out the number. We've been side by side for most of it, although my ministry focus was different than his when our kids were younger. We are both wired to help people grow in depth of love for God, to provide presence for people in their deepest sufferings and greatest joys, and to counsel, listen, and provide outside resources to questions I could have never dreamed being asked. Our motivation for all of this is to honor God above all else.<br />
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Do you want to know one of the frustrating struggles I've had through the years? It's really dumb and inconsequential on the surface. Why does it matter? Who cares? Where does my validation lie? Who calls, confirms, and equips me?</div>
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Here it is:<br />
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What is my title? When people in polite conversation ask "what do you do" how do I respond?<br />
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"Well, I'm a women's ministry director." (Like an event planner?)<br />
"Oh, um, I'm a life coach for women at my church." (Can you help me find a job?) <br />
"You see, I'm a discipleship strategist" (Sounds scary.)<br />
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I most often tell people one of two things: I mentor women at my church or that I lead women's ministry at my church. Still pretty vague though, right? It definitely doesn't give a clear picture. Let me tell you, whatever answer I give, it's a real conversation killer.<br />
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Part of me knows it's vanity to care about my title. My motivation certainly isn't in a title. However, part of me also knows it is bolstering and validating to be able to explain unapologetically that God has, in fact, called, confirmed, and equipped me to lead, minister, and shepherd in my church. To be able to succinctly, boldly, and lovingly say exactly what I do would be a gift, not necessary, but beneficial.<br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bgT4YqHETL4/XbHdyY8uWII/AAAAAAAAAXE/zJV2sueBfQE-L1swZ7_7raSbGHZyJEMMgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/72742336_10162259977560562_6382147532989923328_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bgT4YqHETL4/XbHdyY8uWII/AAAAAAAAAXE/zJV2sueBfQE-L1swZ7_7raSbGHZyJEMMgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/72742336_10162259977560562_6382147532989923328_o.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
Many of you know a torrent of hatred and slander flooded the internet over the weekend against <a href="https://www.lproof.org/">Beth Moore who is a Jesus-loving, strong, female leader.</a>* The world is full of cruelty. This wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. I pray most of you ignore the vitriol that takes place on social media specifically in the American church. It's so so ugly and sinful. I do pay attention for a variety of reasons, one of them, if necessary, is to be prepared to watch over the women I love and lead. In loving response to the malice towards Ms. Beth, many strong leaders are writing about a woman's place in the Church. It's beautiful. You can read this one from <a href="https://annvoskamp.com/2019/10/how-god-calls-women-to-go-because-theyre-already-home-in-him/">Ann Voskamp</a> or this one from <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B370AIYjQwW/">Jonathan Martin</a> or <a href="https://twitter.com/BethMooreLPM/status/1186272022365638657">this one</a> or <a href="https://twitter.com/BethMooreLPM/status/1186985016888348673">this one</a> from Beth herself. It's also partly why I'm writing today.<br />
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Dear daughters, sisters, and friends, I want you to know I see you, I'm with you, and I love you. But you already know this. And you know it about the elders of our church, too. I'm so happy that none of the four elders of Second Mile spend any amount of time at all on social media. Just because they don't respond on Facebook doesn't mean they don't care. Which brings me back to the research project, my title, and women in the church.<br />
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This project started after many years of conversation between Chad and me and then with a podcast and then we read one small book which led to another and another and another. We are looking closely at what the Bible says about women specifically. We've been asking God to show us our own cultural and denominational lens that has possibly/probably skewed our ability to see the depths of Scripture. We've had deep discussions and heated arguments about specific verses, translations, and all the interpretations of which we are trying to make sense. We felt this topic was so huge and so important and had so many implications for our own local church body that Chad asked the elders to read and study, too.<br />
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We aren't quite ready to share any resources or results of our research. However, I did share some during the second session of our Moxie retreat. Of course we will certainly share our findings with our beloved church when we are ready. And I can't wait. In the mean time <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2saU0XDXA0&feature=youtu.be">here's the video</a> of the session in case you missed it or want to watch again:<br />
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I'm giving you this research project teaser for a few reasons.<br />
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First, I'm grieved over how regularly, loudly, and terribly powerful men (and women) publicly ridicule and mock women who clearly love Jesus and are doing the best they can to honor him. It moves me to deep prayers, but it also causes me to set my jaw and clench my fists to continue running as hard as I can after God.<br />
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Second, I want you to know we are continually doing hard work behind the scenes to learn and grow doctrinally and then to practically apply it <i>in our actual church.</i> If we are honest, we aren't personally affected by what happened to Beth Moore over the weekend. It grieves us, but we show up in our actual lives to do what God has asked us to do. But, this research has affected Chad and me which means it will affect our body. I can assure you, the biggest result is that we love the women and men in our church more than ever. We pray and strive for personal wholeness and we also pray and strive for wholeness in Second Mile.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These are some of the faces that compel me to keep laboring in the gospel. Oh how I love them. </td></tr>
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Third, please pray for us as we move through the final stages of hashing it all out. We have lists to make, pages to write, debates/discussion to have. It will be good, but it will also be hard.<br />
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The Church could not exist without women, but you already know that. But maybe you needed to read this post to be reminded that your leaders' heads aren't in the sand. We are with you, praying for you, and hopefully pointing you to Jesus.<br />
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<i><b>Contending</b></i> for the gospel until death or until Jesus returns,<br />
<br />
Angel<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">*I won't link the video. You can google it, but it really isn't necessary. It's gross and sinful.</span><br />
<br />Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-29443447972028016352019-07-16T10:02:00.001-07:002019-07-16T10:45:49.234-07:00Out of the Trench Do you ever have times when you just can't shake the negative thoughts, the sadness and tiredness, and/or the wet blanket of shame?<br />
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A week or so ago I woke up weary, emotional, and wiped out. My eyes were puffy and my brain was on hyperdrive. Sometimes I wallow in the despair <a href="http://secondmile520.org/messages/message/psalm-127-from-uselessness-to-fruitfulness">(eating the bread of anxious toil)</a> and sometimes I remember what to do to reorient myself to Jesus. Maybe the words I'm about to share will help you try something new when you find yourself in a muddy trench.<br />
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I stumbled out of bed and made my way to my kitchen table and sat down, Bible, notebook, and pen in hand. Sitting in the solid wooden chair made me more aware of my need for God to soften my heavy heart. Holding out my hands I prayed: "I'm feeling pretty beat up today and believing some lies that I'm not worth much. So let's find some Scripture. Will you help me, Jesus? I'm struggling."<br />
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Turning to as many familiar passages as came to mind, I began to write:<br />
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Ephesians 1<br />
vs 4 - He chose me<br />
vs 7 - I am redeemed and forgiven<br />
vs 8 - He gives me wisdom and insight<br />
vs 13 - I am sealed with the Holy Spirit<br />
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Ephesians 3<br />
vs 16 - He will strengthen me with power in my inner being<br />
vs 19 - He loves me so much it surpasses knowledge<br />
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Ephesians 4<br />
vs 11 - He gave me to Second Mile (a prophet, teacher, and shepherd) to equip the saints for ministry, to build up our body<br />
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Ephesians 5<br />
vs 8 - I walk in the light of the Lord<br />
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Ephesians 6<br />
vs 10 - I am strong in the Lord<br />
vs 12 - I am wrestling against spiritual forces<br />
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1 John 1<br />
vs 5 - He is light so I am in the light which removes all darkness and confusion<br />
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1 John 2<br />
vs 1 - He is my advocate. (He advocates for ME!)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My necessary and simple tools</td></tr>
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There are 5 other chapters of Scripture I utilized that I didn't share with you, but hopefully you get the picture through this sampling of what I covered that morning. (Many things God speaks to us through his Word are just for us and not meant to be shared with the world. Intimacy and privacy in relationships are so important in our media frenzied culture. But that's for a different blog post.)<br />
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Sitting at the table for over an hour with the balm of the Holy Spirit speaking through Scripture is exactly what I needed... not a pep talk from a friend, not a book by my favorite author, certainly not the distraction of social media or housework or errands, not putting on a 'brave' face and pretending everything was ok, and not even my favorite worship playlist. Getting up early enough to have uninterrupted time provided the needed space for needed heart change. To be sure, I felt raw and sore throughout the day (and maybe even a few days), but nothing else could root out the lies like time abiding with Jesus in Scripture <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+15%3A7-11&version=ESV">(John 15:7-11)</a>. <br />
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God revealed and reminded me of his truth that morning. Then I faced the choice to take hold and believe it or fall back into the muddy trench. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit enabled me to repeat these passages to myself over and over until they began to transform my thoughts. Hard work to be sure, but the payoff far exceeded the effort. Many of you see me as a woman of strength for which I'm humbled and thankful, and you've heard me say it a million times and I'll say it a million more while I still have breath: <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+3%3A16-17&version=ESV">God, through his holy, perfect Word, has changed my heart a million times over.</a> I pour through the pages and <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2011/01/moxie-memorizers.html">flip through my memory packet</a> like my life depends on it <i>because it does</i>.<br />
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Do you believe me? Have you experienced the transformation he brings through it? Have you only dabbled with a plastic spoon or have you dug deep with a pick ax? How much time do you spend? Do you expect overnight expertise or are you up for the task of life-long study?<br />
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What passage can you turn to today that will speak truth to your heart of his glory and your worth in him? <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You know I love the sky because of Psalm 19. If you want to hear me teach about this passage click<a href="http://secondmile520.org/messages/message/the-ministry-of-god"> here</a>. </td></tr>
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Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-3032738036897959752019-02-28T14:56:00.001-08:002019-02-28T15:48:13.580-08:00My Heart and My Home <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
"What's your personal style?" A question that always brought me discomfort and dread. For years I had no idea. What were my favorite colors? In an ideal world how would I decorate? If money was no object how would I arrange, paint, purchase, and fill my home? Who in the heck actually knew? Certainly not me. </div>
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Some people have a knack for knowing what they like and bringing it to fruition. I was not one of those people. Hand-me-downs and take-what-you-can-gets filled every room of my house. I didn't notice most of the time until someone asked me about my personal style, implying that surely the green carpet and dirty red sofas they saw couldn't be my heart's desire. </div>
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My family has been situated on our little cul de sac for a little more than ten years now. We bought the biggest house we could get for our money so we could host large groups of people, but it also meant we chose to live in a fixer upper. I often tell my poor Chad that he knows how to do so much that he gets stuck doing too much. We've (he's) torn down walls, ripped up flooring, dealt with frustrating troubles, and now we are finally representing my (our) personal style. </div>
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Through trial and error, age, and a fixed up house, here is what I've discovered: </div>
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I like neutral walls so I can change decorations whenever I want. (I went through an orange accent wall phase. I liked it for approximately one minute. Ick.) </div>
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I like bright decor to stand out on my neutral walls. </div>
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I like texture on the walls. Wood, metal, fabric, anything interesting. </div>
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I like to fill my shelves with memories, keepsakes, meaningful words, and lots and lots of books. </div>
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I like bright open spaces with large, comfy furniture that whispers, "Come take a nap" and/or "Someone in this house is glad you're here." </div>
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I like for people to feel like there is space for them when they enter a room... a chair, a clean floor, space at the table. </div>
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Now that half my kids live in two places (home is still home), I really, really like for them to come home and know it will be full of peace, laughter, and deep comfort. </div>
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We recently moved out our pingpong table and reoriented the entry room as seen below. The walls are covered with reminders of people we love. My artist and maker friends give me cool stuff and I love it! One print is a hand caligraphied piece we received as a wedding gift way back in 1995. Other prints are hand drawn or graphic designed. Each one makes me smile. Even Chad's childhood Donald Duck bank is displayed. Photos, Scripture, and important words fill the room. </div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vH3jT_fY280/XHgmOcFPzTI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/Y0B8kyofqn8GolkAN4cJ4hEYTNWx_J2swCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_9879.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vH3jT_fY280/XHgmOcFPzTI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/Y0B8kyofqn8GolkAN4cJ4hEYTNWx_J2swCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_9879.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1vw7mK5zvdw/XHgmMW0lf4I/AAAAAAAAAQg/WkaTt_pcvzkR7V585vZ7f9xWtKdbAHhCACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_5714.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1vw7mK5zvdw/XHgmMW0lf4I/AAAAAAAAAQg/WkaTt_pcvzkR7V585vZ7f9xWtKdbAHhCACLcBGAs/s640/IMG_5714.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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I change and rearrange these shelves regularly. I like the stable consistency of the wall color and shelves, but also like the reminder that change can be good in how I can rearrange the stuff on the shelves. I've caught everyone in my family grinning at me as I try to work the arrangement just so. </div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FpTaiTHUTII/XHgmMA3daII/AAAAAAAAAQc/K_oEF1T-NMAIOYKkZuQtj-uHNvPVlpAlgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_5440.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FpTaiTHUTII/XHgmMA3daII/AAAAAAAAAQc/K_oEF1T-NMAIOYKkZuQtj-uHNvPVlpAlgCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_5440.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Again, I can change the shelf in the middle (which is actually an old desk drawer. HOPE.. yes, I need the giant constant reminder that<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+6%3A19-20&version=ESV"> my hope is eternal and not temporal.</a> And if you look at all the photos, you'll surely see a rhino or two or ten. Chad is a big fan of rhinos hence our whole family enjoys them prominently displayed everywhere. Sometimes the punks like them a little<i> too</i> prominent for me. They tease me often and I love every minute of it. </div>
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Moving to our main living room in the photo below. Chad and our friends, Phil and Stuart, helped build this lovely fireplace and mantel. The mantel itself is reclaimed, hand-hewn wood. The piece above the fireplace is a reminder for Chad and me to be a place of refuge for our kids who will each be world-changers in their own ways. I pray we love, support, and continually launch them into the world so they can do the hard work of loving and helping others and that they continually return home for a refilling of love and support. A beautiful cycle. </div>
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As Chad collects rhinos, I collect unique Nativities. Chad found this one on a recent trip to Las Cruces. I usually keep a few Nativities displayed year round. The framed Scripture is the passage that God used to hold me up during <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2012/09/a-new-season.html">my stroke</a> and <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2013/01/like-tree-update.html">recovery. </a></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aBVXTHhDiS8/XHgmKOmcAYI/AAAAAAAAAQM/MG6JYmx9e1Ar4PLVSUA3IPh9-3Do9_RqgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3634.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aBVXTHhDiS8/XHgmKOmcAYI/AAAAAAAAAQM/MG6JYmx9e1Ar4PLVSUA3IPh9-3Do9_RqgCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_3634.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Look at the cutest, tiniest Nativity you ever saw! My friend, Britt, gave it to me. I love it. And of course, my kiddos. </div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HfK9889JRmQ/XHgmK6N_69I/AAAAAAAAAQU/bjvwsFTT0yomRuY38H7rU_eEcy_zpQpEwCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_4321.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HfK9889JRmQ/XHgmK6N_69I/AAAAAAAAAQU/bjvwsFTT0yomRuY38H7rU_eEcy_zpQpEwCLcBGAs/s640/IMG_4321.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
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I recently purchased this metal sign from Magnolia Market. If you've been around me lately, you've heard me say far too many times that I'm in a time of transition with my kids. For as long as I can remember, well-meaning people have spoken ill-meaning words over me as a mom. "Oh three daughters, just wait unit they are teenagers. It's going to be awful." Or, "Kyle is so smart and good-looking, he's going to be a heartbreaker and it's going to break your heart." Or, "You were so rebellious I bet your kids will be the same." And as they leave the nest, I've heard a few too many times words that sting deeply like, "How great it will be to have the house to yourselves" or "When they leave the house, they will leave relationship with you, too" or "Life gets harder and harder and lonelier and lonelier." </div>
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On good days, I can understand that those words aren't about me or my kids, but about some pain in the person speaking them. On bad days, fear can grip me like a vice and I play out every dark scenario that comes to my dark mind. On days I choose to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+90%3A12&version=NIV">trust God who numbers my days rightly</a> as I <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=hebrews+12%3A1-2&version=NIV">fix my eyes on him</a>, I remember no one knows how the years will turn out except Him alone. The <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+4%3A16-18&version=ESV">best is always yet to come because someday I will see him face to face</a>. I'm going to keep opening the doors of my home as long as I physically, emotionally, and spiritually can to family and friends, therefore "The Good Ol' Days Are <i>truly</i> Yet to Come." This isn't a rose colored glasses sign for me. It's a reminder every time I come in my house and leave my house to look to the future with hope and expectation instead of fear and dread. </div>
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"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25 </div>
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Just as my heart is in constant remodeling, so is my house. Lest you think everything is how we want it, here are a couple of photos to the contrary. </div>
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The remainder of the orange-ness and what will be my future office, reading, sitting, daydreaming room. We are building a pantry and making this little space cozy. I can't wait. Electrical work is first which means Chad needs a friend's help. Slowly but surely.<br />
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And, alas, our ugly, ugly bedroom. My kids tell me regularly it should be our next project, but I don't care too much about it. The walls still have patched holes from when we had to replumb our whole house and the carpet is still a 'delightful' shade of green. But whatcha gonna do? Eventually this will be remodeled, but I'd rather have a pretty back yard which is my current campaign. </div>
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Hello to those of you who actually read all the way to the end of this post! It seems like just a few years ago we had people in our home nonstop. Life changed in that regards somewhat because my teenagers participate in many activities and I wasn't about to miss anything. But, I can feel a change coming where we will host more consistently again. We don't know what it will look like just yet, but I hope "my personal style" in building our home puts people at ease, beckons my kids to come home to replenish, and fills Chad and me with love, joy, and contentment for years and years to come. </div>
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Now tell me, what is your style? Do you like to fix stuff up? Do you like to have people in your home? What do you look forward to in the future? One more question, do you look at the links I include in my blog posts? Just curious. </div>
Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-31902729204588772632019-02-07T10:30:00.003-08:002019-02-07T10:31:45.684-08:00Desire, Motivation, and Discipline When women speak out their desire to learn theology (the study of God), my heart flutters and I may even do a little dance. If you've ever heard me speak in any capacity, you know I'm more than passionate about challenging and teaching women to be strong-willed in Scripture, word, and deed as opposed to weak-willed and willy-nilly, following the winds of culture.<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+3&version=ESV"> 2 Timothy 3</a> speaks of weak-willed women allowing false, misguided love and ideas worm their way into their homes. Heck no! Not my house! Please help me, Jesus!<br />
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My good friend, John DeSoto, recently preached <a href="http://secondmile520.org/messages/message/psalm-112-righteous-stability">a message on Psalm 112 titled Righteous Stability.</a> In his message, he mentioned that he is digging into theology this year. It's only been a few days since he spoke and I've already received more than a few inquiries about the when, what, and how of studying theology from some of the amazing women I'm honored to lead. I love it! So, for the sake of everyone who may be curious but not asking, here is a quick-start nudge for you.<br />
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First, know this: Theology <i>is</i> for everyone. If that mean girl voice in your head just said, "Uh no, I can't/don't want to learn about this... It's not helpful for my daily life or I get too confused or I'm not smart enough or blah, blah, blah," tell that voice to shut its mouth and choose to believe that we all learn with different strategies, at different paces, and with different benefits. I am not an intellectual academic<i> at all</i>. But, through the years, I've disciplined myself to dive head first into complicated topics.<br />
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This past year Chad and I have been working on an intensive doctrinal deep-dive. Through this doctrinal study, God has been gracious to also show me new and wondrous theological concepts, as well. I'm currently muscling my way through my fifth book for this project, a couple of text books even! The last book I read had whole chapters dedicated to one Greek word and I thought my brain would explode. The point: It takes desire, motivation, and discipline. My desire is to grow my brain and heart, to work through a hard topic with Chad, and to not be left behind in learning. My motivation is to have a deeper understanding of what Scripture says about this particular topic for my own benefit as well as for the benefit of my church. My discipline is to ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten the eyes of my heart and to give me endurance and stamina to pick up these seemingly impossible books and read a few chapters every week. It is not easy, but it is so, so rich. (I will <i>not</i> be telling you the topic until we are both ready to articulate what we've learned. Don't you just hate that?! Hahaha!)<br />
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So where do you start?<br />
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Gather a few friends in order to read and grow together. I have a small book in my office for $10 to offer any of you at anytime called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Theology-Women-Knowing-Difference/dp/1433502097/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549475193&sr=8-1&keywords=practical+theology+for+women">Practical Theology for Women by Wendy Alsup</a>. I've read it at least half a dozen times with various women in Second Mile, including my oldest daughter. It is a great place to whet your appetite for theology. Most, if not all, of our Moxie mentoring relationships begin with this book. (Some women don't like that it is called a theology book for women. But come on, I'm a woman, am I not? I continually and gladly pick up this book written by a woman for women. Please and thank you.) For theology, I also highly recommend <a href="https://www.amazon.com/None-Like-Him-Different-Thats/dp/1433549832/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549563627&sr=8-1&keywords=none+like+him+jen+wilkin+paperback">None Like Him</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/His-Image-Calls-Reflect-Character/dp/1433549875/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1433549875&pd_rd_r=0cf9a9af-2b05-11e9-bc59-4fcf3b72f982&pd_rd_w=cQKaF&pd_rd_wg=ThGmM&pf_rd_p=6725dbd6-9917-451d-beba-16af7874e407&pf_rd_r=5BHNVMWMWX8P6JSA9SJ4&psc=1&refRID=5BHNVMWMWX8P6JSA9SJ4">In His Image</a> by Jen Wilkin. Again, both books are in my office waiting to be purchased and read by you.<br />
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If you are ready for the next challenge, find a fatter theology book and get going. When we moved to Tucson to start Second Mile, a large portion of our team read through <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Systematic-Theology-Introduction-Biblical-Doctrine/dp/0310286700/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549476769&sr=8-1&keywords=systematic+theology+grudem">Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology</a> together. There were tears, debates, frustrations, and more personal growth than any of us realized we were experiencing. John mentioned he is reading a different theology book. It is <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Systematic-Theology-Louis-Berkhof/dp/1941129560/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549475836&sr=8-1&keywords=systematic+theology+berkhof">Systematic Theology by Louis Berkhof.</a> I can't remember if he mentioned this, but the elders are going through it together. Together in theology is better than theology alone. Our minds and hearts need the accountability and insight of others. If we hate an idea that is actually true, we need our sisters and/or brothers to gently help us surrender our feelings in order to trust God.<br />
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At this point Second Mile does not offer any theology specific classes. (However, Chad teaches us theology on the regular in his messages.) But please do not let the lack of formal classes stop you from diving in the deep waters of theology if your interest is piqued.<br />
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<li>Gather two or three trusted friends. </li>
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<li>Buy a well-known, trusted book; start with <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Theology-Women-Knowing-Difference/dp/1433502097/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549475871&sr=8-1&keywords=practical+theology+for+women">this one</a> if you've never done this before. </li>
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<li>Set a goal of meeting once a month for a couple of hours to discuss 2-4 chapters. </li>
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<li>Finish in a year or so. As you often hear me say, this is a long obedience in the same direction for your <b><i>whole</i></b> life. I pray we are growing in our faith and understanding of God until the day we meet him face to face. </li>
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<li>Talk to me or a trusted leader as you progress for encouragement, trouble-shooting, and accountability. </li>
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"We must make a study of our God: what he loves, what he hates, how he speaks and acts. We cannot imitate a God whose features and habits we have never learned. We must make a study of him if we want to become like him. We must seek his face." -Jen Wilkin<br />
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"In the long run, careful theology may slow you. But in the long run, it will sustain you." -John Piper<br />
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"Sound theology is not an end it itself but must be turned into praise. Ethical compliance without fervent worship means you've given God your will but not your heart." -Timothy Keller<br />
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Also, don't forget about<a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2019/02/stability-abundance-and-giveaway.html"> the giveaway</a> I'm doing as we get ready for the Matthew message series! There are only dozen or so entries and I'm giving away three books! I'm confident we will learn deep theological truths as we study the life of Christ through Matthew.<br />
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<i>Are you intimidated by the study of theology, do you embrace it, or somewhere in between? What is one aspect of God you wish you understood better? Have you ever read a theology book? Tell me everything. </i>Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-75408886603739988332019-02-04T13:29:00.001-08:002019-02-04T14:01:24.820-08:00Stability, Abundance, and a Giveaway Way back in 2005, right after we moved to Tucson to plant a church called Second Mile, Chad attended a conference about starting a church. My guess is he expected to return to our new city with ideas and strategies. Instead, he shared with our small group of ten that God had only impressed on him one thing: Teach Scripture.<br />
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He often tells me he's a simple man and this one life-transformational, God-given direction demonstrates this reality in his life. From that point, my beloved husband 'simply' began systematically teaching books of the Bible, verse by verse, chapter by chapter. From his faithful obedience to teach what God told him to teach and our church's faithful obedience to take in the most delightful passages as well as the most difficult passages, our church continues to grow... in depth more than breadth, but still, both.<br />
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He shared with us a few weeks ago that we will be starting the Gospel of Matthew on February 17th. After over a year in <a href="http://secondmile520.org/messages/series/view/1st-samuel">1st </a>and <a href="http://secondmile520.org/messages/series/view/2nd-samuel">2nd Samuel</a>, heading into the New Testament excites me to no end. I hope you'll join us on the journey.<br />
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To pump you up a bit, I'm going to do another give away. It turns out I love giving you things, especially books!<br />
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<a href="https://www.jenwilkin.net/">Jen Wilkin</a> recently shared this new book series and it immediately sparked joy for me. They are gorgeous, individual books of the Bible, so obviously, I ordered 10 <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1433564831/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01__o00_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1">ESV Illuminated Scripture Journal: Matthew</a> books. I think the gold-foil stamped cover is lovely. As we go through our new message series, one could use this book to journal, to take notes, to create art that moves you to worship, etc.<br />
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With joy, I'm going to give away 3 copies. Comment here, on facebook, or on instagram with why you are looking forward to Matthew. I'll give it a week or so, but don't delay. In the last giveaway I hosted, only 27 people participated... pretty good odds! I am also selling these for $6. Let me know if you would like one. I'll have them on Sundays or you can arrange to stop by my office.<br />
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On prayer and fasting:<br />
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As most of you know we recently finished up our annual <a href="http://secondmile520.org/worship/2019-week-of-prayer-fasting/">Week of Prayer and Fasting</a>. As I consider how you all engaged, I decided to share my experience to encourage you. One of my kids deeply strengthened me recently as they observed and stated that Chad and I keep pressing in, year after year, allowing God to refine us no matter how "big" or "small" some might perceive the refinement. I hope you know we are <i>all in</i> with you, no short cuts or easy outs for us.<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">January 8th was a rough day for me. I lamented to Chad that January sucks: The holidays are over, Kyle and Esther move back to their school places of living (i.e., not home), Morgan and Carah go back to school, we stop drinking coffee, we have to write the prayer booklet, and then we don't get to eat. Whhhyyyyy??? </span><br />
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As you can see, I was feeling all my feelings about what was to come. Thankfully, God did not leave me in my misery and was faithful to teach and show me great and unsearchable truths despite my dread of the month.<br />
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First, physically:<br />
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Giving up caffeine was harder than ever before. Thankfully, we started our coffee fast on January 7th before we began fasting from food because my age and my addiction showed this year. I had every, single, withdrawal symptom for almost a full week. Fun times. I'm going to be more aware of my caffeine intake from now on, and next year, I will not go cold turkey. A little research goes a long way, my friends. <br />
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After we all broke our fast on January 27th, I struggled with brain fog, weakness, fatigue, and sadness, again, for almost a full week. After talking to my good friend, Aluvia, I learned that next year, I need to have quality electrolytes on hand. Of course, some of my sadness was due to the let down after a week of intense church togetherness in prayer and fasting, but the other struggles were physical. It was no joke.<br />
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(Many of you do not know this and I only share to encourage and challenge you, definitely not to boast.) Chad and I often extend our fast longer than one week. This year was the longest I've ever fasted and it was, by far, the best experience I've ever had. I'm amazed at how God designed our bodies. It's incredible. Typically in a food fast, the first week is often difficult. For me, after week one, my body settled down, my brain was quick and clear, and I felt almost invincible. Of course, I hungered, but boredom bugged me more. If you want to extend your fast in the future, let's talk. I'm happy to help and challenge you. (I do think the extended fast is what made breaking the fast more difficult. Chad and I researched how to break it, we ate only veggies and broth for almost three days. I missed the electrolyte piece, but I'm on it for next time.)<br />
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More importantly, spiritually:<br />
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Each year, extending the fast gives my heart and mind more needed time to work into the required stillness. The first week I spent wrestling. As the toxins left my physical body, I imagined the toxins leaving my soul. Prayerful tears spilled over as I began to see lack of love and patience in areas of my life, but resolve and hope didn't come until week two.<br />
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Currently, I'm studying the book of Isaiah. God used his Word to show me his love in a couple of distinct ways:<br />
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Through the years at Second Mile, I've always been one of the oldest people, if not the oldest person in our body. This reality, I believe, has kept me young, so I do not usually complain, even though I often jokingly make the observation. The last couple of years increased my awareness of my age difference. My kids are older; Chad and I will be empty nesters too soon. I'm 45 which isn't young. (Yes, I know it isn't old either. That's why it's called middle-aged.) What I didn't know, or at least didn't care to notice, was a growing angst, impatience, and isolation/self-preservation slowly threading it's dark thread through my heart. I found myself frustrated by the age difference, not caring about generational differences, wondering about my place in our community with so many cultural shifts. I felt awkward at best and irritated at worst. As he often does, God breathed kindness and gentleness into me again through prayer and scripture. It feels like a deep inhale of fresh air after the rain. What a gift to be asked to lead people! May my life continually overflow with<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5%3A22-23&version=ESV"> the fruit of the Spirit.</a> He specifically used <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+33%3A2&version=ESV">Isaiah 33:2</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+33%3A5-6&version=ESV">5-6</a>. He is my arm of strength and the stability and abundance of my life.<br />
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Thursday in the prayer booklet, we were asked to spend time in confession and repentance. (Full disclosure: I wrote most of this day. What was I thinking?? Eek!) With great kindness, he pulled back the veil on great fear I've been holding in my heart about the next few years. So much (feels like too much) change and transition is coming my way. I won't get into those details, but I will say in my own self, I'm scared. Part of the fear is the wrong belief that there isn't enough to go around, there is a shortage of opportunities, friendship, space, and even love. God showed me that I do not have any doubt that there is enough for everyone else. I fully believe there is enough for all of you all the time. The darkness of my wrong thinking is that there isn't enough for me which leads to me over-protecting myself and over-loving/serving everyone else. Deep plowing of my heart and mind to be sure. Again, he graciously used <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+40+&version=ESV">Isaiah 40</a> to show me there is absolutely no scarcity in Christ. And, I begged him to show me how to deal with the coming changes. Instead, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+40%3A27-31&version=ESV">he showed me he has not forgotten me, he is the everlasting God, and then asked me to wait for him instead of running ahead to figure out all the answers.</a> I imagine I'll have to cling to Jesus and these revelations many, many times over the next few years.<br />
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Friends, please do not allow what I learned through our Week of Prayer and Fasting cause you to compare, complain, or confuse what you did or did not learn. We seek communion with God when we do this; we do not seek great "experiences" of him. My main source of joy and sustenance throughout the fast was Jesus alone. This year he poured out his generosity through conviction and healing to me, but I don't expect him to work in the same ways all the time. He is enough. His Word speaks to me. His Spirit moves. I'm humbled and grateful.<br />
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What was your experience as you prayed and/or fasted? Did you engage with <a href="http://secondmile520.org/worship/2019-week-of-prayer-fasting/">the booklet</a>? What did you learn? Was it difficult and good or difficult and just difficult? Share with me. I would love to know. And don't forget about the Matthew journal giveaway. I have so much love for you all.Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-39058910097093423962019-01-15T14:54:00.001-08:002019-01-16T07:05:24.737-08:00Fasting, Worship, and a Winner Last week, <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2019/01/various-finishings.html">I wrote about books</a> I enjoyed last year and hosted a little book giveaway. I'm happy to announce Tia Edwards won the giveaway! I'll get your books to you soon, Tia.<br />
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And, because I want to and I can, I drew one more name for Storm-Tossed Family. Erin Anderelli, it will be coming your way!<br />
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Since I have you here already, I want to share some thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain lately.<br />
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This past Sunday, Chad spoke about fasting. If you haven't heard <a href="http://secondmile520.org/messages/message/the-goodness-of-emptiness">the message,</a> please do so. A friend of mine told me they thought it was very helpful and dynamic. <a href="http://secondmile520.org/messages/series/view/week-of-prayer-and-fasting">This link</a> will provide years' worth of fasting messages if you want to learn even more.<br />
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Second Mile has engaged in a week of prayer and fasting since it's conception. Our first one was in January of 2005. If you've participated for years or this is your first one, I hope you will ask God how he wants to to engage in the coming week.<br />
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I'm a practical girl, so I want to share some things I've learned over the years with you. I hope you enjoy my bullet points.<br />
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<li>There are no rules when you fast. Chad will say this again this coming Sunday, but it can't be emphasized enough. There. Are. No. Rules. This causes a struggle for those of us who like rules to define our boundaries. In fasting, if you bind yourself up in any self-conceived rules, you may miss a lesson Jesus has for you, not to mention you'll be miserable trying to figure out/keep the rules. On Sunday, I told a college student I had never done a water only fast. He seemed genuinely surprised. The main reason I haven't engaged in that way is because I know my tendency towards legalism. So, liquid fasts, including juice, have been my process. We shall see how the Holy Spirit leads me this year. </li>
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<li>If you drink coffee every day, start weaning now. Seriously. Constipation, headache, and even muscle aches genuinely suck when you are also hungry. Just consider it your pre-fast. </li>
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<li>If you are thinking you can't fast because you have young kids, you're wrong. You can. It's just difficult. I do feel your pain and can empathize. My kids were little, needy, and always hungry, too. (They are still always hungry.) This specific aspect of discipline will give you an opportunity to be reminded that we are in the world, but not of the world. You will have your hands all up in your kids' peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they may even shove it in your face to offer a bite... just like the world. But, the Holy Spirit enables us to say no to the temptations of the world, and he will give you the ability to say no thank you to the peanut butter. And if you forget and accidentally take a bite (speaking from experience), remember there are no rules, so just laugh at yourself, thank God for his good grace and mercy, and keep going. </li>
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<li>Don't go to Costco during sample time. Seriously. It's the worst. </li>
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<li>You're going to have to pee. A lot. But you must keep drinking water so your body can regulate and flush out all the gunky stuff that's stuck to your insides. </li>
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<li>You're going to be cold. I read about the cause once. The answer satisfied me, but I can't remember it. So if you want to know why, just google it. </li>
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<li>My favorite: this week of not eating makes me feel really weird when I'm walking around Tucson. I sometimes imagine how the people I see at the store or at school drop-off would react if I told them I hadn't eat in ____ number of days. They would certainly freak. You may even have family members tell you how unhealthy or unsafe this process is. It could feel isolating, but remember, we are part of the body of Christ. One thing that gives me great comfort throughout the week of fasting is knowing that I am not alone. My Second Mile brothers and sisters in Christ are engaging, too. Even the few times I was unable to fast for whatever reason, I disciplined myself to remember that I am part of the whole, that we all carry one another. I will think about the togetherness every day which leads me to think about it more consistently throughout the year. And, if I know anything about women, I know almost all of us struggle with loneliness from time to time. This week is an excellent reminder that we are not alone. We have the good gift of the Holy Spirit living inside us AND we have the body of Christ, the global Church, and our own local churches. For me, it is my beloved Second Mile family. </li>
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I could say much more, but I should stop for now. </div>
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Every year I'm nervous/excited about the Week of Prayer and Fasting. I'm genuinely excited to walk in obedience by fasting, but I'm nervous because I really like to eat. I wrote <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2011/01/answered-prayer.html">this post</a> way back in 2011. It's an old one, but it may still be useful to some of you. </div>
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This is a packed post, but I want to offer a few more thoughts on worship as you consider how you will fast and pray next week. </div>
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A few Sundays ago, I was struggling. I felt hard-pressed on every side, so I chose to stand and sing as loud as I could. I needed to acknowledge that God is bigger than my problems and even bigger than the problems of the world. I wanted to focus on his righteousness, holiness, and love. Through the simple act of standing, singing loudly, and opening my hands to God symbolizing releasing my grip, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+12%3A8-10&version=NKJV">I felt stronger in him.</a> My problems, and certainly, the world's problems didn't go away, but God was glorified above it all. And, bonus, I let the enemy know to Whom I belong and where my affection lies. </div>
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Let me encourage you, next time you are in your car listening to your favorite worship songs or next time you are at a gathering of people where you get to worship Jesus through music, sing with gusto. It doesn't have to be loud, but your heart needs to mean what you sing. If you can, raise your hands as an act of surrender. As you grow in not caring what anyone thinks (including yourself), allow your heart, mind, and body to engage in worshipping Jesus. Worship, to me, is also and act of defiance to our enemy and to remind him that he is doomed. When you think of the power of worshipping the Most High God, your whole self will want to engage. </div>
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<i>"Our exuberant worship of God -- our get-up-out-of-the-chair-and-lift-our-hands-and-raise-our-voices-to-heaven worship of God -- is an act of audacious defiance against the spirt of this present age relentlessly, successfully, and daily indoctrinating us in nauseating self-praise." ~Beth Moore</i> </div>
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I'm praying for each of you as you consider how you will participate in the Week of Prayer and Fasting. Send me a message or leave a comment if you have more thoughts and/or questions. I love hearing from you. </div>
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<i>Do you have any questions about fasting? What is your experience with musical worship? How and why do you engage?</i> </div>
Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-16837685512638028022019-01-03T07:51:00.000-08:002019-01-03T08:10:43.197-08:00Various Finishings One of the first books I read in 2018 was Jon Acuff's book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Finish-Give-Yourself-Gift-Done/dp/1591847621/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1546470099&sr=8-2&keywords=finish+jon+acuff">Finish</a>. In the book, he lines out tools people can use to, well, finish stuff, mostly writing projects. I 'finished' the book inspired and decided it should be my word for 2018.<br />
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I was going to finish house projects, finish reading a long list of books, but mostly finish a writing project I've worked on/thought about for three years now. Ok fine, mostly just thought about.<br />
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However, writing was my nemesis this past year. I couldn't find the words in my head or heart. I tried many times and wrote many (not great) paragraphs, but there would be no finishing of said project in 2018. Good news: I don't feel guilty, like a failure, or any other negative burden that often comes when I don't accomplish what I set out to accomplish. The project will happen when it's time.<br />
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But there is good news to share! <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+19%3A1&version=ESV">The skies still proclaim God's glory</a> and I finished other plans in 2018.<br />
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Here are a few of my finished projects of 2018:<br />
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Chad and I finished several house projects, from building the shed <a href="http://www.secondmile520.org/">Second Mile</a> gave him for a graduation gift to painting our dingy hallway doors. I'm confident we will always have house projects to work on, but I'm happy we crossed a few off the list.<br />
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I set out to chronologically read through the Bible this year. Last year I enjoyed a slow, deep dive of 3 or 4 chapters, so the fire hose effect of taking it all in was quite different and incredibly enjoyable. I read the last chapter of Revelation with tears of gratitude and awe. Reading the whole Bible changed me. If you know me, you know this is a big statement: I love the Bible more than ever. It truly is <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+3%3A16-17&version=ESV">God-breathed and able to teach, correct, rebuke, equip and train us for righteousness</a>. What a gift! If you need a reading plan this year, check out <a href="https://www.ligonier.org/blog/bible-reading-plans/">this link.</a> It isn't too late to find a plan and start.<br />
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One of the surprises 2018 held for me was how many books I was able to finish. I shocked myself and feel very accomplished. Many of you hear me often quote Harry S. Truman. "Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers." Reading helps leaders better understand people, learn different perspectives, cultivate creativity, strengthen communication, and so, so much more.<br />
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Reading is an important discipline that I take very seriously. Please know, I'm a slow reader. Many paragraphs required multiple readings, but setting regular time aside to read a few pages at a time helped me reach some goals. If a book captured me, I read it quickly. Some of my more academic book choices challenged the heck out of me and I practically crawled through each chapter. But, I finished more books in a year than ever before, by a long shot. Here are a few of my favorites and recommendations:<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Imperfect-Disciple-Grace-People-Together/dp/0801018951/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1546473200&sr=8-1&keywords=the+imperfect+disciple+jared+c.+wilson">The Imperfect Disciple by Jared Wilson</a><br />
In this book, Jared uses Scripture and anecdotes I related to, probably because we are the same age and have been in ministry about the same amount of time. He effectively shares that following Jesus isn't for the super-spiritual who have it all together, but is for all of us. Jared's humility and wisdom challenged me to remember basic, valuable, spiritual disciplines.<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Liturgy-Ordinary-Sacred-Practices-Everyday/dp/0830846239/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1546473229&sr=8-1&keywords=liturgy+of+the+ordinary+by+tish+harrison+warren">Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Warren </a><br />
I've followed Tish on social media for awhile now, reading almost every article she writes and resonating with her theology and worldview. Picking up this book was a no-brainer for me simply based on the fact that I truly enjoy reading her words. The book did not disappoint. Her ability to connect spiritual truth with every day life demonstrates her deep soul and love for Jesus. So much of life is monotonous and it is easy to disregard sacredness even in bed making or sitting in traffic, but this book reminds us to think about Jesus in all aspects of our days.<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Peculiar-Glory-Christian-Scriptures-Truthfulness/dp/1433552639/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1546473262&sr=8-1&keywords=a+peculiar+glory+john+piper">A Peculiar Glory by John Piper</a><br />
Reading John Piper books is not for the faint of heart. And please, spare me the social media arguments you may have read against him. He isn't perfect, but the man loves Jesus and Scripture. Every book he writes is saturated with the Bible. And this particular book is about the Bible. Dream come true for me. In it he describes the Bible as one of the windows through which we view God's glory (the sky being the other one) and tells us to smush our faces against the glass to get the best possible view we can. This book deepened my love and understanding of Scripture. If you've never read one of his books, what are you waiting for?<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Trellis-Vine-Ministry-Mind-Shift-Everything/dp/1921441585/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1546473293&sr=8-1&keywords=the+trellis+and+the+vine+book">The Trellis and the Vine by Colin Marshall and Tony Payne</a><br />
Several national leaders I respect recommended this book, so I finally bought it. The authors argue that structures don't grow ministries, but growing people who invest in other people grow ministries. Seems like a duh statement, but it it is obviously more involved than it sounds. I finished the book encouraged to continue doing what I was taught to do: More time spent with fewer people equals greater lasting impact for the Kingdom. (Thanks, David.)<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Letters-Church-Francis-Chan/dp/0830776583/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1546473322&sr=8-2&keywords=letters+to+the+church+by+francis+chan">Letters to the Church by Francis Chan</a><br />
So much yes to this one! In fact, it may be one of the books we ask all leaders at <a href="http://www.secondmile520.org/">Second Mile</a> to read. It's no secret that I love my church. It is en vogue to hate churches and lament "evangelicals"; I read the news and understand. Francis strips down all the crap that has become American church culture and challenges us all to get back to loving and serving people. Thank God I get to be part of <a href="http://www.secondmile520.org/">a church</a> like this. We are absolutely not perfect, but we truly desire to be the church Jesus desires us to be. This book pressed me into deeper love for the Global Church and for <a href="http://www.secondmile520.org/">my local church</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Faith-Among-Faithless-Learning-Esther/dp/0718097475/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1546473344&sr=8-2&keywords=faith+among+the+faithless">Faith Among the Faithless by Mike Cosper</a><br />
Speaking of the news and evangelicalism and craziness, I picked up this book based on the subtitle: Learning from Esther in a World Gone Mad. It did not disappoint. If you feel frustrated by the state of our country and have a deep desire to live your life to the glory of God then read this. I would be interested in talking about it with you. If I'm not careful, politics make me despair. This book was one of many reminders this year that my hope lies in Jesus Christ alone.<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Storm-Tossed-Family-Cross-Reshapes-Home/dp/1462794807/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1546473363&sr=8-1&keywords=storm+tossed+family+book">The Storm-Tossed Family by Russell Moore</a><br />
Favorite, favorite book of the year. Chad and I will be giving this as a wedding gift (along with our traditional wok, of course) for years to come. If you know me, you will know that I am a huge Russell Moore fan. He's one of the prophets we need in our current generation. In this book he writes with personal stories, expertise, and Scripture to show us how our lives are to be shaped by the cross of Jesus. I believe this book is a guide book for our lives in singleness, marriage, parenting, aging, and everything in between. I've already given two copies away. Maybe you'll receive the next.<br />
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I could go on and on about the books I read this year. I only hated one book and couldn't finish it. I'm not skeptical when I read, but I'm also not naive taking in every thought thrown my way. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+3%3A1-9&version=ESV">Being a weak-willed woman</a> in my reading isn't an option, so I work to measure it against Scripture and through community. The combination of Scripture and reading other books increased my gratitude this year. I'm not exactly sure how or why, but I trust God works in us through various means to make us more like him. My reading list for 2019 isn't quite curated, but I'm hopeful to continue to be challenged, to change wrong thinking, to strengthen right thinking, and to keep growing. God forbid I stay the same. Books help me change. <br />
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To help you in your process, I'm going to give away three books from this list in a little giveaway: The Storm-tossed Family, Liturgy of the Ordinary, and The Imperfect Disciple. (If you win and already have one of these books, we will negotiate a trade.) All you have to do is comment on this post or on the Facebook post advertising this giveaway. Share what book you would like to read from my list and/or a book you really loved this year. I'll draw a name in about a week. Feel free to share this post to spread the word.<br />
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Happy 2019 to each of you! Be disciplined this year and watch God change and grow you in unsearchable ways.<br />
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"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things that you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3<br />
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What are you reading? What are you looking forward to reading? What is a different project you finished this year?Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-42797916506765762612017-06-11T19:59:00.001-07:002017-06-11T21:02:46.289-07:00The Good Gifts of Summer Remember when I said I would draw a winner for the book and $30 Amazon gift card in a week and then almost a month passed? Oops. Time-shmime. Am I right? Anyone? Well, sorry 'bout that.<br />
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THE WINNER IS...<br />
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Congrats, friend. And it works out so well since it's your birthday month! Happy birthday and here's your prize!<br />
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Since you clicked over here to see who won, I thought I'd share some of my summer favorites. I like when my friends like things I like, so I'm happy to give you my not so secret secrets.<br />
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Floating in my back yard pool is a must for me during the summer. I've explained it before, but in case you haven't heard, my pool has an invisible force field around it that blocks out my ability to analyze, problem solve, and overthink about life, ministry, family, future, and all things overwhelming. It is glorious. Now, I am a responsible, hang-out in the sun floater so I wear sunscreen. My friend, Janice, gave me Sun Bum for my birthday a couple of years ago and I've never looked back. It's worth the extra bucks to not feel coated with glue. Do you know what I'm saying?<br />
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Cheap sunscreen = greasy glue = no thanks<br />
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Go get you some at any drugstore or just <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sun-Bum-Moisturizing-Sunscreen-Hypoallergenic/dp/B00WTHV0KQ/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1497220579&sr=8-3&keywords=sun+bum+spf+50">order it from Amazon.</a><br />
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Next, I drink too much cold brew coffee (otherwise known as toddy) during the summer. Chad makes it for me because he loves me. You can make your own cheaper than you can get it at coffee shops. Duh. I prefer when he uses lighter roasts because to me, dark roast coffee tastes like your licking a tire. Oh man. My bitter palate can only handle so much. Do you like lighter or darker roasts?<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Toddy-Coffee-Maker-Extra-Filters/dp/B0040ZR0VS/ref=sr_1_1?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1497233838&sr=1-1&keywords=toddy+cold+brew+system">Order it</a> or go to World Market and pick one up. Instructions are in the box. Also, why is the woman on the box of a cold brew system acting like she's drinking a cup of hot coffee. Design/marketing mess up if you ask me.<br />
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Next, the new <a href="http://www.zacbrownband.com/band">Zach Brown Band</a> album is playing on repeat for me this summer. The title hooked me instantaneously: <a href="https://atlantic.lnk.to/WelcomeHome">Welcome Home</a>. Gives me good vibes just typing it out. My family teases me by saying all their music sounds the same, but WHATEVER, because it all sounds awesome the same! The song, Family Table, put a giant lump in my throat and possibly even squeezed out a couple of tears. If you like good country music (not like that Florida Georgia Line crap. Gag.) then buy this album. Good, good, good. What band can you listen to on repeat?<br />
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Finally, I'm determined to make this a summer of reading. Good news for me, Carah's swim meets are on Tuesday and Thursday nights and last 3+ hours. She only swims a little more than 2 minutes of that time. I'm not great at math, but that's way more sitting than watching. To make use of all. that. time, I'm making my way through my reading list. What are you reading?<br />
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I'm reading top to bottom. My goal/hope is to get through five more before school starts. We shall see!<br />
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For me, summer is a time to grill out, watch movies, and slow down. When my kids were younger we played Skip-Bo, swam, read, watched shows, and played and played and played. This year, I'm being forced to learn a new summer rhythm because teenage activities amp up in summer more than they slow down. However, determination drives me to continue to use this season to think about being a finite human. I can't keep the sprint pace of most months even though sometimes I try. The Sonoran Desert swelter reminds me to slow down or suffocate. A break from school for my kids provides consistent opportunity to engage them in conversation so that the tiny screens in their pockets don't suck away their time, minds, and hearts. Later evenings create space for more laughter with friends, more time for books, and the familiarity of movies we've watched over and over. My family only has three more traditional school summers and then Chad and my arrows will all be launched. In the future I know I'll find new ways to revel in my favorite season, but for now I'm taking deep deliberate breaths, burning as many images in my mind as I can, and resting in the good gifts of family, friends, and summer.Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-10641307033721546362017-05-23T11:25:00.001-07:002017-05-23T11:37:18.558-07:00Who We Are in Light of Who He Is :: And a Giveaway Through the years I've grown in self-awareness and understanding. I believe it is good, wise, and honorable to know your strengths and weaknesses so you can better serve God and love people. For example, how can I love people in the way they need love if I'm not aware that I can be an 'energetic' nurturer? (Some say smother, but I say mother.) Or if I am unaware of the intensity of my faith, maybe I sound like a raving lunatic instead of a compassionate, bold Jesus-follower? Knowing who we are and what we believe increases our ability to love and serve.<br />
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However, a main point of contention I have with those who seek self-help, self-improvement, and even self-awareness is what or <i>who</i> is your plumb line? If I only grow and measure myself against myself, my awareness is nebulous and/or self-serving. If I grow and measure myself against others then I always succeed or always fail, and the measurements result in self-gratification or self-loathing. </div>
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What are we to do? </div>
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Theology, the study of the nature of God, is the answer. In the last 20 years, I've surrendered to the fact that knowing who God is enables me to know who I am. His grace to us tells us in his Word that we are <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139%3A13-16&version=ESV">fearfully and wonderfully made</a>, that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=phil+1%3A6&version=ESV">he will complete the good work he started in us</a>, and that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+cor+3%3A18&version=ESV">he is transforming us into his very image</a>. Whether we seek to know what this means or not, he will work in us because <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+138%3A8&version=ESV">he is faithful and he doesn't break his promises</a>. But, if the Creator of the universe is changing you into his image, don't you think it would help to know who he is? Hence, theology. </div>
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Here's the truth, friends. I'm not an intellectual. But, I am a learner, child-like when I get excited about a new to me concept, and a reader (a slow reader, but a reader nonetheless.) I am not someone who can sit around and debate theology. Heck, I can't really debate anything. I <i>feel</i> deeply about God, life, and love. I can most certainly tell you what I believe and why I believe it. However, I continue to need help in learning deep truths about God in my head and heart. I've read quite a few theology books all the while weighing what I'm learning with scripture and talking them out with Chad and friends. </div>
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Good theology books will be full of scripture, and not just one off verses to support their claims. I'm continually on the search for strong-willed, intelligent, fierce women who love God <i><b>and</b></i> his word. You all know I love <a href="https://twitter.com/BethMooreLPM">Beth Moore</a>. I recently finished <a href="http://www.lifeway.com/Product/Entrusted-bible-study-book-P006103964">Entrusted</a>, her study on 2 Timothy and it blew my mind. If you choose to do this study, please, please go through the video teachings, too. Many of you also know mentoring relationships for women in Second Mile begin with <a href="https://twitter.com/WendyAlsup">Wendy Alsup</a>'s book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Theology-Women-Knowing-Difference/dp/1433502097/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495559515&sr=8-1&keywords=practical+theology+for+women">Practical Theology for Women</a>. (I have copies in my office if you'd like to buy one.) I read<a href="http://theologyforwomen.org/"> her blog</a> regularly. The woman knows her Bible. </div>
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A year or two ago, I discovered <a href="https://twitter.com/jenniferwilkin">Jen Wilkin</a>. She's quickly become a woman I respect and wish I could know personally. Two of her books were on my shelf for awhile, but my reading list was so long I never got to them. At my suggestion, Morgan, Carah, and their friend, Nevaeh, recently started reading <a href="https://www.amazon.com/None-Like-Him-Different-Thats/dp/1433549832/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8">None Like Him</a> with their youth leader, Corrie. I wanted to know what they were reading and be able to discuss with them as they read, so I picked it up, too. Jen had me at the first sentence of the introduction: </div>
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"If you had told me five years ago that I would one day write a book for Christian women that led off with a quote from Proverbs 31, I probably would have punched you in the face." </div>
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Doesn't that sound like someone who could be my bestie?</div>
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In the book, Jen describes ten attributes that <i>only belong</i> to God and shows how we humans seek to mimic these attributes. I'm reading this book slowly, devotional style, so I can take it all in. As I read each chapter, my awe of who he is increases and my own conviction grows as I see how I try to put myself in his place. Do you want to truly know yourself? Then get to know God! Do you want to find comfort in his magnificence? Then know how to name these attributes and what they actually mean!</div>
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I had no idea how much I would love this book, but I certainly do. Also, it's super easy to read so that's a bonus. Jen takes deep concepts and writes about them in a way that isn't alienating and/or frustrating. This book is for everyone. Men, it's for you, too. I recently read a comment by a pastor who is taking his whole staff through it. Jen also <a href="https://twitter.com/jenniferwilkin/status/866377377953312768">had this to say</a> about <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Women-Word-Study-Bible-Hearts/dp/1433541769/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495563216&sr=8-1&keywords=women+of+the+word+jen+wilkin">a different book she wrote</a>, but it applies here, as well: "FAQ: "Is there a book like Women of the Word aimed at men?" Not that I'm aware, but the concepts aren't "pink". Just rip off the cover, bro." Wisdom and sass make me so happy. </div>
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Do you need a fresh perspective on who God is and who you are in light of him? Do you need to freshen up your time with your mentee? Are you wanting a good summer read? Would you like to go through a good book with some friends or your community group? Are you curious because I keep telling you it's that good? I've got some good news for you! I believe in this book so much that I bought 20 of them. For eight bucks, you can pick one up this Sunday or make arrangements to stop by my office to pick one up during the week. (I'll order more when the time comes. I plan to keep these on hand.)</div>
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I would love for many of us to be mulling over these ten characteristics that only belong to our great God. It will deepen our faith which will deepen our conversations which will deepen our relationships which will deepen our church which will deepen our desire to talk about him to people who don't yet know him. Beautiful. </div>
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To make things interesting I'm going to do a little giveaway. Leave a comment below with a chance to win a copy of this book AND a $30 gift card to Amazon. Obviously, if you win I don't want you to use the $30 on a new swimsuit or cardamom, but I can't control your purchases. Just remember, I love books. I can easily recommend ways for you to spend $30 on great books if you don't know where to start. Leave a comment and I'll choose a winner in a week or so. </div>
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Let's spend the upcoming summer slowing down a bit, reading a good book or two, and getting to know God more and more so he can show us who we are in him. Self-awareness at it's finest. </div>
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Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-54525638485045947112017-04-20T11:40:00.000-07:002017-04-20T11:57:58.947-07:00Tripping around the Sun The gray wings above my temples continue to spread like no one cares. But secretly I care. Some days they look like wisdom to me and some days they look like the dirty pigeons that hang out on my fence I want to pop with a BB gun.<br />
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The laugh lines around my eyes prove I'm experientially learning what it means to be <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31%3A25&version=NLT">clothed with strength and dignity and to laugh without fear of the future</a>. Last year I didn't feel much like laughing, but the depth of learning that took place in my heart certainly wrapped my drooping shoulders in unknown strength. Maybe the gray wings and laugh lines visibly expose the depth of dignity God sows into my life with each trip around the sun. </div>
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Thankfully and humbly, God wired me to perceive the needs of others. Sometimes he even allows me to see ways in which I can help. My love for God and for people runs like a raging river. In times past, I've been able to stay on the Holy Spirit raft with a few trusted people who help me navigate the relational rapids. Unbeknownst to me, my raft had taken on too much water of meeting all the needs of all the people in all the world. </div>
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Last year at this time I bailed out of the flooding raft with an angry vengeance. Expectations plagued me. Of myself. Of family's. Of other people's, perceived and/or real. Even of God's, or at least, the case I had built on<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+17%3A24-25&version=ESV"> his behalf</a>. </div>
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Words can't express the suffocation I felt. (I know some of you know the feeling.) Not only could I not meet all the expectations, I resented everyone, who I believed, thought I was failing. </div>
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My false perceptions were thick, but what kept me under water was my inability to perceive they were false. </div>
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I couldn't keep up with Chad's ministry pace. </div>
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I couldn't help women understand God's love for them, let alone my love for them. </div>
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I couldn't change people's wrong perceptions of me in "having it all together." </div>
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I couldn't meet my own expectations of what I thought I <i>should</i> be able to do. </div>
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I couldn't even meet your expectations, whoever you are. Believe me, I thought about it. </div>
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All the things I knew to do in "counseling" myself seemed to fail. </div>
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In a last ditch effort to gain some perspective so that I didn't torch my life and all my relationships, I went to see an actual counselor. I spent much of the year pouring over scripture, asking God to help me believe. I hiked many miles in solitude and silence, pondering expectations, shoulds, woulds, and coulds. Chad and I had long, crucial conversations. I forced myself to bail water out of my raft, and in humility, gave a bucket to a few people because I needed help. </div>
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It actually began to work. Honestly, I was shocked because I had tried to fix it all by myself, but couldn't... the ugly, revolving door of self-expectations. But, He <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=titus+1%3A2&version=ESV">didn't lie</a> when he told us that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=phil+1%3A6&version=ESV">he will be faithful to complete the work started in us</a>. What a relief! </div>
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Through <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+15%3A1-17&version=ESV">pruning and abiding in Christ</a>, my 43rd year of life took me on a journey to a deeper understanding of what I already knew to be true. I am <i>finitely finite</i>, unable to meet my own or other's expectations. To walk in it is freeing. To trust the people closest to me when they say their expectations of me are to love God, to laugh, and to have fun with them: Easy. To let go of the expectations people have of me that I can't meet is also freeing, but it is a difficult choice I continually ask God to help me make. </div>
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I've discovered a few things: </div>
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Chad doesn't want me to keep up with his ministry pace, whatever that means. He wants me to love God with my whole heart and to be his companion. He cheers for me as we live out our lives side by side. He's secure so he never feels threatened by me when I'm full throttle zealous and passionate. He's kind and compassionate so he encourages me to rest, disengage, and even take naps. We make a crazy good team. </div>
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I can't take women by the face and force them to look at Jesus' love. It may surprise you but this is an ineffective strategy for mentoring and discipleship. I can point to scripture, but I can't make anyone read it. I can tell you I love you and I'm doing the best I know how, but it may still hurt us both from time to time. Whether or not women I lead allow me to fail sometimes is not mine to hold. Because I'm surely going to fail, but it doesn't mean I don't love. </div>
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I can't make anyone believe or accept my apologies when I screw up as a leader. I can't make people stay and work out relational reconciliation. All I can do is walk humbly, love wholly, and apologize when necessary. People's expectations can be fair and unfair, but I can't bend either way. I must keep on my raft with scripture, truth, and love. Right, wrong, or crazy. I will be all three on any given day. It's not about me or you. </div>
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Here is one of the hardest lessons of all for me: It's not always my fault. Do you know how easy it is for me to get out of conflict by simply taking the blame so we can move on? I'm asking God to grow true humility in me which means getting rid of the false humility of being the relational doormat. </div>
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The deeper sense of strength and dignity with which I am starting out my 44th year feels content, joyful, and hopeful. My gray wings and laugh lines point to a journey up some serious mountains. I have a better understanding of who I am. God truly wired me to intuit people's emotions, needs, and sometimes even their motives. I'm grateful for this gift. With this gift, I'm surrendering with greater trust that he is the Need Meeter, the Life Fixer, the People Lover. I'm a <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+cor+4%3A7&version=ESV">jar of clay that carries around his all surpassing power in my life through the Holy Spirit</a>. I used to say that I know it is his power and not mine. After this year, I <i>know</i> this more fully. I'm believing next year I'll <i><b>know</b></i> it even more. And the next year. And the next year. And the next year... </div>
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I laugh at the days to come with courage. </div>
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With each trip around the sun, deeper still, faith, hope, and love. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The sky above proclaiming his handiwork. Psalm 19 </td></tr>
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What are you learning? How are you being pruned as you abide? What is your favorite passage of scripture right now? Can you guess mine?Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-50747990637282888552017-01-11T09:58:00.000-08:002017-01-11T10:17:29.178-08:00Preparation and Expectation My good friend, Nate, gave the message during Second Mile's weekly gathering this week and challenged us all to prepare our hearts for the coming Week of Prayer and Fasting (January 22-29.) I wanted to cheer when he read Proverbs 24:27, saying he was asking God to build a house of prayer out of our body.<br />
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"Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that <b><i>build your house</i></b>." Proverbs 24:27 (emphasis added)<br />
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I hunger for God to build our church into a house of prayer, and I also want to be <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+130&version=ESV">a watchman waiting</a> and ready for him to do what he will do. If I am going to be ready, then I must prepare and strengthen my weak knees and drooping hands.<br />
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"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord." Hebrews 12:12-13<br />
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All of Hebrews chapter 12 is worth a read in terms of preparation. Here are a few highlights:<br />
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<li>We are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses that have run before us. </li>
<li>Throw off sin so you can run with perseverance. </li>
<li>Look to Jesus who is perfecting our faith. </li>
<li>Consider Jesus so you do not grow faint or weary. </li>
<li>Discipline produces endurance to pursue holiness. </li>
<li>God's kingdom can't be shaken.</li>
<li>Offer God acceptable worship with reverence and awe. </li>
<li>He is a consuming fire. </li>
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Apart from reading Hebrews chapter 12, let me share a few more ways I'm preparing for the coming week of prayer and fasting with the hope of helping and challenging you. Sometimes I'm practical to a fault, so when leaders tell us to do this or that, I'm often left wanting someone to tell me <i>how</i>. Let this encourage you in the how. </div>
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Here is a list of ways I'm preparing my heart for the week of prayer and fasting: </div>
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~ I'm regularly reading <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2058">Isaiah 58</a> to remind myself about the type of fast that God desires. If you aren't sure where to start, use this passage. It shouldn't surprise you much that I'm telling you to start with God's word. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2055:8-9">Why in the world would we ever begin with our own thoughts or someone else's thoughts?</a> </div>
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~ Nate talked about spending time searching our hearts to "get rid of our junk" which is necessary. I know I'm only scratching the surface of my heart at this point. In the past, going without food inevitably makes me more hungry for God which makes me more open to hear from him which is when the inner scum <i>really</i> comes to the surface. I consider these next few days the tidying up of my heart so I can be ready for the deep cleaning I don't even know I need. I promise it's way better than it sounds. Even in a deep heart cleaning, his kindness leads us to repentance. </div>
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~ As a church we spent 41 weeks of the last year in 1 Corinthians. The prayer guide is being written with 1 Corinthians as a backbone, so I'm reading over my notes to remind myself of the richness of what we learned as a body and what I learned as an individual. </div>
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~ I'm reading <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prayer-Experiencing-Awe-Intimacy-God/dp/0143108581/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1484155393&sr=1-1&keywords=prayer+by+tim+keller">Prayer by Timothy Keller</a>, an <i>excellent</i> book. I highly recommend it. In the book he refers to many psalms of prayer. I'm trying to read them and take them in as I go. </div>
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~ This step is very practical. I've started to shrink my stomach. A friend of mine posted something about leaving "the eating season" which perfectly describes November and December for me. Instead of going cold turkey, I'm lessening portions and snacking which may not necessarily make it easier to not eat, but it is making me mindful of what it means to prepare. </div>
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~ I'm also asking God how long<i> he </i>wants me to fast. Have you ever considered asking God point blank how many days he wants you to fast? What if you've fasted the whole week in the past, but this year he would like you to add a day or two? Or what if you are hell bent on the rules and status quo of a literal week and he would like you to fast for only part of the week? If you ask and don't hear a specific number, have no fear. Trust the leadership of Second Mile and fast for the set aside time. </div>
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~ Finally, I'm asking God to prepare my heart. Simple as that. As I pray for preparation, I'm also asking him to fill me with hopeful expectation of his kingdom come and of eternity with him. Make no mistake, I'm not laying any demands in front of God. I'm simply asking him to come and commune with me, Chad, my kids, and my friends (you) in a beautiful, life-giving, himself glorifying way. This is all for him after all. It isn't about us, although, in his goodness, we certainly benefit. I pray he <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+63&version=ESV">increases my hunger for him</a> and his return above all things. </div>
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Have you started the preparation process? Do you have any other ways you are preparing? I would love to learn from you. </div>
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On your mark, get set... </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"><a href="http://www.desktopwallpaperhd.net/view/green-fields-racing-track-numbers-226136.html">source</a></td></tr>
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Angel Hayneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05052740307959854375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-79910842311883877512016-12-07T10:06:00.002-08:002016-12-07T11:57:28.617-08:00Deeper Still :: The Glory of Christmas This year I asked God to give me fresh insight and deeper wisdom into the glory of Christmas. Many people know Christmas brings me joy, but only a few people truly see my giddy, overwhelmed heart and tears as I contemplate the awe and beauty of it all.<br />
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In the Old Testament God set forth his law for people to understand his holiness, for people to know how to approach him, and for people to pay for their transgressions through sacrifice. He mercifully revealed himself and showed his people that he is gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+34%3A16&version=ESV">Exodus 34:6</a>) But to approach him took great care, ceremony, and permission. His presence was shown in a <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+13%3A21-22&version=ESV">pillar of fire</a>, or <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+19%3A16-25&version=NLV">on a mountain</a>, or so magnificent that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+33%3A21-23&version=ESV">one had to hide in a cleft of a rock</a> and only see God's back because his presence was too rich, holy, and glorious for human consumption. He was and is good, but to approach him demanded sacrifice. *<br />
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Enters Jesus, a human, a baby, made for relationship.<br />
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Everything that was known about God changed the moment Jesus was conceived in Mary. Can you imagine the God of the universe in the womb of a young woman? He entered through a family line lowly enough to show his availability to everyone. The details and order of the <a href="http://www.100prophecies.org/page2.htm">prophecy</a> and lineage for God to be born into the world at the perfect moment: profound.<br />
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It is difficult for me to fathom the radical shift in God's availability to humanity through relationship with Jesus. He meets me in my questions of doubt, and lovingly guides me to truth through his word. During Christmas I imagine myself worshipping a baby in a barn. He is <i>the same God</i> shining in glory on the mountain with Moses. As a baby he's defenseless, and yet that tiny baby came to crush the yoke of slavery and injustice with power and might on the cross. A thrill of hope, joy to the world, Word of the Father now in flesh appearing. Christmas, Emmanuel, God with us.<br />
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This week I read an important aspect of the birth of Christ that I had never heard, or at least had never paid attention to. Leviticus 25 maps out a significant detail of the law of Sabbath. It describes the Year of Jubilee, the last year of the seventh period of seven years, the forty-ninth year. "In that year, all slaves were to be freed and all debts were to be forgiven; all the land and all the people were to have rest from their weariness and from their burdens. The seventh seven, the Sabbath of Sabbaths." **<br />
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Matthew 1:17 says, "So all the generations from Abraham to David were <i>fourteen generations</i>, and from David to the deportation to Babylon <i>fourteen generations</i>, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ <i>fourteen generations</i>." This makes Jesus the beginning of the <b><i>seventh seven, the Sabbath of Sabbaths, the True Jubilee! </i></b>All true rest comes from Jesus Christ. He frees the slaves! Through him all debts are forgiven! He came to earth to have relationship with us, to allow us to rest in his love, mercy, and grace. He came as a baby so he could endure all the human pain and suffering we endure, to take it all to the cross, to show us he is indeed <i>with</i> us and <i>for</i> us. The seventh seven! The detail in scripture to show the Deity of Jesus is truly miraculous. My soul longs to know more.<br />
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To be sure, I love my family's Christmas traditions. Baking, decorating, hosting, all things red and green. My house feels cozy, warm, and lovely. I enjoy hearing my kids laugh and play as they work to solve the year's 1000 piece puzzle. These aspects of Christmas fill my heart. But I know they are temporary. As the years go by, the laughter will quiet, the decorations will fade, and the warmth in my home may grow cold. Of course I imagine I will deeply grieve the loss of days gone by as I'm sure many older people do, but O God, please allow my prayer to remain the same:<br />
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Give me fresh insight and deeper wisdom into the glory of Christmas. Keep my eyes away from worthless things, preserve my life according to your word. Fix my gaze on the eternal, not on the temporary. Allow my soul to feel <i>your</i> worth above all things. (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+2%3A3-5&version=NIV">Proverbs 2:3-5</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+119%3A37&version=NIV">Psalm 119:37</a>,<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+cor+4%3A18&version=NIV"> 2 Corinthians 4:18,</a> <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+2%3A19">Luke 2:19</a>)<br />
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Merry Christmas isn't just a greeting for me. When I say Merry Christmas to you, it is as if I'm praying a short, small prayer for you, whether you want it or not. May God show himself to you this season no matter where you are... someone who doesn't believe, someone who is all alone, someone who is in a personal season of winter, someone filled with hope and joy, someone filled with despair, someone neck deep in doubt, someone who wears a Santa hat everyday, someone who hates me, someone who loves me... The prayer is the same: Merry Christmas, Emmanuel, God with us. Show yourself fresh and new, deeper still, the way you did in a stable in Bethlehem so long ago.<br />
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<b>Thank you, Jesus, for coming.</b></div>
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<b>He has come, he is here, he will return.</b></div>
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<i>What does Christmas mean to you? Have you pondered the Incarnation? Believing in the resurrected Christ begins with believing God came to earth as a baby. How does this affect you personally? What are one or two things you can do to capture the wonder of Christmas this year? </i><br />
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<i>*Do yourself a favor. Go back and click the links to the passages in Exodus. Marvel and be amazed at the glory of God and how different relationship is with him because he sent his Son, Jesus Christ to earth. Ponder, mediate, engage your heart and mind in the glory of Christmas.</i><br />
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<i>**Tim Keller's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hidden-Christmas-Surprising-Behind-Christ/dp/0735221650">Hidden Christmas</a>, page 38</i><br />
<br />Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06963541298118334744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-67903944544804599532016-08-22T13:40:00.000-07:002016-08-22T16:02:11.458-07:00Change HappensEven though my friend, <a href="http://inspiredrd.com/">Alysa</a>, lives in a different state, I think she sensed my current heart struggle, so she re-posted <a href="http://inspiredrd.com/2014/08/better-than-the-last/">a guest post I wrote for her blog</a> a couple of years ago. When I read it again this morning, as if right on cue, the tears leaked out once again. Tears easily fall from my eyes these days. My kids say that I cry all the time which I think is a slight exaggeration, but I will admit it happens more frequently than it used to.<br />
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One of my parenting goals from the beginning has been to embrace each stage as better than the last. Let me tell you, this goal is really being put to the test in this current season. The launching kids out into the world stage does not <i>feel</i> better than the everyone sitting around the table eating, talking, and laughing season. My heart and mind feel confused often. Because God allows us to feel multiple emotions at one time, I can be excited for the adventure and maturity awaiting my kids outside of my home <i>and</i> feel sad about them not being down the hall at night safe and sound in their beds. Life keeps on moving. Even though people told me the days were long and the years were short I didn't really know just how short the years would be. I hear the years just keep getting shorter, too, so I must continue to work to discipline myself to be present, engaged, joy-filled, and purposeful. But it is stinking hard.<br />
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So do not fear, do not be dismayed. I will strengthen and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:10<br />
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For I am confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 1:6<br />
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Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. ~Hebrews 13:8<br />
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Change happens, indeed. There are only three years between these two photos. We are all smiling, but if you could read the story through each and every moment between the lines you would see joy, pain, laughter, doubts, success, failure, hurt, apologies, time spent well, time wasted, family together time moved into launching them out time. All of it combined is the change that continues to lead all six of us to become who God intends for us to be as individuals and as family. Chad and I seek to be good, good parents as an example to them of God as the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djrY_eFDOwE">good, good Father</a>. He never freaks out in the midst of all our human changes, so I'm on my knees asking him to help me not to freak out, to be steadfast in him, and overflow with thankfulness and security when it all seems quite wobbly. </div>
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I have two tattoos symbolizing my family. The one on my leg is a good representation of the family season. We are all stars surrounded by a swirl of community support and togetherness. The one on my arm represents Psalm 127, my quiver full of arrows. We spend intentional time to craft and hone each arrow to be unique, to love God, and to love people. When you shoot them off, you pray so hard they will fly straight. The permanent marks on my body represent the permanent prayers of my life. I pray my life demonstrates deep love for my family and the ability to launch them well. I long for them to continue to love God with all their hearts as he shows them how to love and serve people. May it be so, Jesus. </div>
Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06963541298118334744noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-30817987401340361992016-02-04T19:25:00.000-08:002016-02-04T19:46:37.778-08:00The End of a Season To be jolted out of my sleep when the pitch black night still lingered didn't surprise me even though the clock glared, "4:00am." When you set aside a significant amount of time to pray and fast strange things happen. I shivered with deep cold in my bones all week. My sleep had been restless. My muscles ached. But, my soul was still and listening.<br />
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Deep, resonating conviction thickened the atmosphere of the room, so I sat up and dangled my legs over the edge of the bed to listen. </div>
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Immediately I knew my time on the <a href="http://cordofhope.org/">Cord of Hope</a> giving team was over. </div>
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Have you ever fought a battle for so long that you actually gave up fighting? Within minutes of quiet listening, God established a resolved ordinance in my guts, and showed me how tired my soul had become through 11 years of visiting clubs and leading this ministry. </div>
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"The time is now, Angel. Let it go." </div>
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"But what if..." </div>
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"What ifs are not yours to carry." </div>
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Relief came instantaneously as I thought about releasing the going, releasing the burden, releasing the chaos. And then relief gave way to conviction. </div>
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"You've been carrying such darkness in your heart and mind, Angel." </div>
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"I <i>know</i>. I'm so tired and I don't know how to make it all go away." </div>
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"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." </div>
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Tears streamed down my face as the Spirit of God used his own written word to ask me to share my deepest struggles with a friend who would pray over me. I so hoped he would give me someone who would/could just fix my brokenness, but all he asked me to do was confess so she could lay hands on me and pray. Recently I read that communal confession is a forgotten discipline. We go through the motions of confessing our sin to God, but we find no freedom because we are really only confessing to ourselves. True confession and repentance brings heart change. Isolated confession always allows for an out. Communal confession allows for prayer, accountability, and true healing. In a moment, God took knowledge which had puffed up my head, and asked me to work out authentic faith through action. </div>
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Many times as a leader I find myself in conversations I would rather not have... confrontation, a call to holiness, pointing out scripture people would rather ignore, and conflict for too many reasons. It sucks actually. One of my biggest fears as a leader is pride. I regularly struggle with the "who do I think I am" question. In order to combat this fear in my leadership, I consistently ask God to purify my life, my thoughts, my heart, and my actions. I ask him to teach me to obey his word, to be my main affection, to help me delight in him above all else. At 4:00 on a Thursday morning during the week of prayer and fasting, he showed up to answer my prayers. </div>
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His kindness leads me to repentance. (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%202:3-5&version=ESV">Romans 2:3-5</a>)</div>
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His law is perfect and revives my soul. (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+19%3A7&version=ESV">Psalm 19:7</a>)</div>
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He strengthens me in my weariness. (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=is+40%3A29-31&version=ESV">Isaiah 40:29-31</a>)</div>
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He illuminates the dark in me. (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139%3A11-12&version=ESV">Psalm 139:11-12</a>)</div>
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His forgiveness allows me to stand. (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+130%3A3-4&version=ESV">Psalm 130:3-4</a>)</div>
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Friends, there are days I simply want to give up. It's all too hard. I want to go to work, come home, put on stretchy pants, turn on the tv, and zone out. But, I know deep in my bones it wouldn't lead to the full life God wants for me and my family. </div>
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May I count everything a loss compared to knowing Jesus more and more and more. May his name be lifted higher in my life every single day. May I point people to him through truth and love. When I have done everything I can to do to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians++6%3A13&version=ESV">stand against that which seeks to destroy,</a> may I still stand firm on Jesus, the name that is above every name. </div>
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What about you? What or who is your greatest affection? What is the evidence of your claims? What are you learning and how do you plan to put it into action and not just puff up your head? </div>
Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06963541298118334744noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-23647559384627558982016-01-14T10:02:00.000-08:002016-01-14T20:08:51.846-08:00On Fasting, A Review In just a few days, the people of Second Mile will join hearts/hands, tighten our grip, and seek God together through prayer and fasting. So many new people joined our body this year and I've wonder if the thought of fasting is intimidating or overwhelming to some. I decided to give you a glimpse into what the week of prayer and fasting looked like for me in the past to encourage you as you engage this year, whether it is your first time or you've been doing this for years.<br />
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One of my go-to verses, one that is in my head almost every time I pray (no exaggeration) is Jeremiah 33:3. It says, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things that you do not know." What a beautiful, encouraging, and focusing promise! I continually claim this for myself, my family, my friends, and my church. I'm praying it for <i><b>you</b></i>, too.<br />
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As you consider what it means to fast, let me remind you this is not a legalistic, reward-based pursuit. We deny our stomachs as an act of worship. The emptying of our physical selves allows us to empty our wholes selves in order to be filled up with God. If you've never fasted from food, don't start with not eating for a whole week. Choose one or two days to go without food. If you've fasted before, challenge yourself to extend your fast by a couple of days. Whatever days you choose, let Sunday, the 24th be your last day because we will break fast with communion during the gathering. The experience is unifying, worshipful, and beautiful. (Chad will teach on fasting this coming Sunday to provide further scripture, instruction, and help.)<br />
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Take a look at some of these stories of my past fasting experiences. I hope it helps you as you look to the coming week.<br />
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<a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2011/01/answered-prayer.html">This specific post walks through four personal lessons of fasting.</a> My favorite part of the post is explaining how fasting tangibly shines light on the fact that we are exiles on this earth. If you don't read any other linked posts, read this one.<br />
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Sometimes<a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2012/02/self-shmelf.html"> we make excuses about how we have to eat, that fasting isn't reasonable.</a> It is definitely true for some. If you are performing surgery on someone, please don't get the shakes from lack of food. However, our bodies have a way of convincing us to make excuses. Personally, I've been making excuses for a couple of weeks about why I don't need to exercise. I'm lying to myself. Don't lie to yourself about how you <i>just have</i> to eat. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Eat or don't eat, just make sure it is out of obedience, not excuses.<br />
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And sometimes you <i>absolutely</i> need to eat, and going without food would be completely legalistic and irresponsible. In that case, <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2014/01/on-fasting-when-you-have-to-eat.html">figure out a God-glorifying, flesh-denying alternative.</a><br />
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And finally, sometimes we need someone else to challenge us in prayer and say things like, <a href="http://www.angelhaynes.com/2014/04/the-first-thing-decrease-unbelief.html">"Do you want God to revitalize your church? Revitalize your prayer life."</a> Zinger.<br />
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Dear ones, I so hope one or more of these posts encourages you for the coming week of prayer and fasting. Several of us have worked diligently on the prayer guide and we are expectant for what God will do in and through our prayers. Ready yourself. If you have any questions, please email me!<br />
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<i><b>Hebrews 12:12-13 </b></i></div>
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<i><b>Therefore, lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. </b></i></div>
Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06963541298118334744noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-75053974627393750822016-01-01T17:00:00.002-08:002016-01-02T07:35:48.778-08:00From Transition to Peace I've not often chosen a special word to mark a particular year. It's definitely a good practice and I enjoy hearing about people's words and how God uses it in their lives, but for whatever reason I have been unable to carry the discipline through for an entire year.<br />
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However, looking back at 2015 two words very clearly stand out to me.<br />
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<b>Transition</b> and <b>Change</b>.<br />
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In ministry, Second Mile gained our very own building which may be the biggest <b>change</b> our church has encountered thus far. Renovating the facility and moving into being the caretakers took grit, determination, stamina, strategy, and so much communication. After talking with key leaders in the moving process, many of us are still a little shell shocked. I believe we are just barely scratching the surface of experiencing "to whom much has been given much will be required" when it comes to this building. The good, good gift of our own home will continue to require <b>transition</b> and <b>change</b> in our hearts and ministry.<br />
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Relationships within ministry have also been laden with <b>change</b>. The longevity of ministry in Tucson provides my family with the opportunity to be the ones who are left when for the years before Tucson, we were always the ones leaving. The juxtaposition of leaving and being left created chaos in my heart. Shutting out new relationships in self-preservation became a burdensome temptation. <b>Change</b> and <b>transition</b> of relationships affected my whole family like never before. In terms of this specific opportunity for growth, I'm happy to see 2015 go and I hope to bring what I've learned about longevity and perseverance into 2016.<br />
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The <b>change</b> in my family of Esther launching from our home continues to challenge me. If you know me you know I desire to be a parent who claims, "Each stage is better than the last." Up to this point, I could confidently declare it; toddlers better than babies, elementary better than preschool, teenagers better than preteens in terms of not lamenting about the past, but being present in each chapter with my family. I've loved every single stage. The <b>transition</b> from all my arrows being safely tucked in my quiver to taking the oldest one and launching her out knocked me off balance. Learning a new normal of time and conversation with her and the family as a whole takes work. The good news is we move towards a beautiful new groove each day. I'm beginning to see ways I will be able to say this stage is better than the last.<br />
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So what about 2016?<br />
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Interestingly enough, two words swirl around in my heart and mind as I think and pray for the coming year. This is a first for me and I'm curious to see how it will play out in the coming months.<br />
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<b>Peace</b> and <b>Focus</b>.<br />
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Change and transition really struck a blow to my contentment. So many days in 2015 were taken up with tears and melancholy contemplation. To prayerfully shake it off, I've spent the month of December reading <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+77&version=ESV">Psalm 77</a>, specifically asking God to help me remember/meditate on his "mighty deeds and wonders of old." (If you are feeling tired, worn out, or in need, read it and pray through it. Do it every day until your soul finds release and relief.)<br />
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The fruit of meditating on this beautiful Psalm is growing <b>peace</b>. I'm asking God to put <b>peace</b> in my heart no matter what circumstances come my way. I'm sad to say this was often absent in my life during 2015.<br />
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Much to the annoyance of many of you, I've hinted about a big project I've felt God prompt me towards since last February. This year I'm asking God for the <b>focus </b>to make it happen.<br />
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The first verses I'm going to memorize in 2016 is 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12. It is so, so good and inspiring.<br />
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2 Thessalonians 1:11-12</div>
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To this end we always pray for you, that our God may <i>make you worthy</i> of his calling and may <i>fulfill every resolve</i> for good and every work of faith<i> by his power</i> so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (italics mine)</div>
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In this task I believe God has set before me (I will tell you about it soonish. I promise. Please forgive my vagueness. I just need a minute more to get my head on straight.) it is imperative I trust that <i>only he</i> will fulfill this resolve of faith I feel with <i>his power</i> so that <i>he will be glorified</i>. Yes please! It's the only way it will happen and it will take a tremendous amount of <b>focus</b> because I can tell you, I feel incredibly inadequate to complete this undertaking. Will you please pray for me? If you aren't sure what to pray ask God to help me to love him with everything I have and pray 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 over me. I seriously need both.<br />
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I won't be continuing consistent Moxie Memorizers posts for 2016. Please continue to take in God's word. You and I desperately need it. As Beth Moore says, Jesus saved my soul, his word saved my mind.<br />
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Let's encourage each other with some comment responses. What stands out to you about 2015? Do you have a word or two you're praying for 2016? What is the first verse you are going to memorize this year?<br />
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As always, I'm continually thankful and continually prayerful for you, friends.<br />
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<br />Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06963541298118334744noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-64848499839037388762015-11-24T19:06:00.000-08:002015-11-24T19:08:50.703-08:00A Beautiful Mysterious Cycle <i style="font-family: inherit;">I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. Ephesians 1:16</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him, and strengthen in the faith, just as you were taught, <b>overflowing with thanksgiving</b>. Colossians 2:6-7</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><b>Give thanks</b> in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A little over a month ago, I taught about some verses in Ephesians chapter one at <a href="https://vimeo.com/143160291">Retreat de Moxie</a>. On my knees, I begged and begged God to do deep, rich work in the lives of the women with whom I would journey to the mountain. Now, I imagine him smiling at me while I prayed, whispering, "Just wait until you see the deep, rich work I'm doing in <i>your</i> life, dear one." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">During the retreat the theme "Continually thankful, continually prayerful" came up over and over again. I can't begin to express what these words have come to mean to me. </span><br />
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<i style="font-family: inherit;">The one who <b>offers thanksgiving</b> as his sacrifice glorifies me. The one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God! Psalm 50:23</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I've questioned the meaning of thanksgiving as a sacrifice since I memorized the verse over a year ago. What could it mean? How is being thankful sacrificial? Sacrifice means to give something up that you especially want to keep. What would it look like in my life to be sacrificially thankful in order to glorify God? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Bitterness, envy, and selfish ambition sometimes taunt me. James 3 uses these words to describe the wisdom of the world that is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. Comparison, hurt feelings by not being considered the way I hope to in friendships, frustrations as a leader, or even simply wanting to be included rob me of experiencing wisdom that "comes from above." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As the Holy Spirit worked in my heart over the last few months, I'm experientially learning deep in my guts that thankfulness increases wisdom. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Wisdom in how I respond in relationships.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Wisdom in keeping my gaze on Jesus and not on the world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Wisdom in joy as I journey this life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Wisdom in thankfulness as I pray for anything and everything that pops into my mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. James 3:17 </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Offering thanksgiving consistently, sincerely, and continually teaches me to give up to God what I hold most dear. Thanking God for my family<i> reminds</i> my soul they are his. Being thankful for the ability to run, cook, host, mentor, and do all I love to do <i>reminds</i> me that he created me and I belong to him. Offering thanksgiving for the people in my life, the people I pass day to day, the bagger at the grocery store who talks with me each time he sees me <i>reminds</i> me God loves people more than my mind can fathom. Thanking God for the times of great difficulty in my life <i>reminds</i> me he works through adversity to make me like his Son. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The sacrifice of thankfulness continues to acknowledge all we have is his. He gives to us out of his goodness. He takes from us out of his goodness. When we are thankful it is an act of acknowledging apart from him, we have no good thing. And then, all he gives to us, we freely sacrifice back to him as a worshipful act of thanksgiving. It's a beautiful, mysterious cycle that glorifies God. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Is it beginning to make sense? Are we thankful for the sake of gaining our own warm fuzzies or are we thankful in order to testify to his benevolence in our lives and our sacrifice of all things we hold dear to follow him? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In my experience these few months, as I've been more thankful, prayer has increased. As gratitude increases contentment increases. As appreciativeness grows I'm more open to reason, full of mercy and good fruit. When contented thanksgiving fills my heart, I feel peaceable and gentle. The fruit of his Spirit increases, and bitterness, envy, and selfish ambition in my life decrease. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thankfulness grows, prayer grows. Prayer grows, thankfulness grows. And the fruit I didn't anticipate in all of this is <i>wisdom from above</i> which </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">is "first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."</span></div>
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<i>How are you growing in thankfulness? When you find yourself frustrated with someone or something would you be willing to try to spend a moment being thankful instead of hurt? In what ways have you grown in your ability to be continually thankful and continually prayerful? </i></div>
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<i>I'm so thankful for you, dear one. It blesses me richly when you read my words. </i></div>
Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06963541298118334744noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767297878140786887.post-6526034306486725042015-11-17T13:27:00.001-08:002015-11-17T14:51:56.798-08:00Static Stories Die A few months ago my good friend, John DeSoto, preached <a href="http://secondmile520.org/messages/message/whats-your-story">a message</a> at Second Mile about the power of story. As an Emmy award winning camera man, he continues to cultivate his craft of story telling, mostly through video. John's temperament is gentle, compelling, warm, and engaging. When I'm around him I find myself calm and content. His videos of the story of people's lives create the same calm, content response in my heart and mind. Here is one of my favorite examples:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/80815298" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <a href="https://vimeo.com/80815298">ADVENT 01_HOPE</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user4217076">John DeSoto</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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One sentence from John's message endures in my mind:<br />
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<b>"Change is fundamental in stories. If things go static, the story dies."</b> <br />
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I'm constantly a walking paradox, and in this instance the truth of my inward battle rings true. On one hand, the thought of a life, a family, a church that lacks movement and vitality makes me nauseous. Stagnant water stinks, therefore, I believe a stagnant life also stinks. On the other hand, I often balk at change because of fear of the unknown or lack of control it creates. But, at the end of the day would I rather swim in a mirky, green, smelly pond or a beautiful, clear, fresh water oasis?<br />
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The answer <i>should be</i> obvious, but <i>the truth</i> is I often desire to choose the stagnant life.<br />
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As my family grows and changes, the unknown freaks me out as I obsess about the future.<br />
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As my relationships grow and change, insecurity rears its ugly head.<br />
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As my marriage grows and changes, difficulties in learning to communicate effectively challenges me to my core.<br />
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As my church grows and changes, fear of 'can we even keep up with it all' overwhelms me.<br />
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I know I'm not alone in these sentiments. Change is so very difficult for some of us. It threatens our sense of belonging, our entitlements to how we've always done things, our desire to be in the know, and our perceived importance and rank.<br />
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But, thanks be to God he did not leave me as he found me.<br />
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<b>Philippians 1:6</b> </div>
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Be confident of this that he who who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion unit the day of Christ Jesus. </div>
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<b>Isaiah 43:19</b> </div>
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Behold, I am doing a new thing, now it springs forth. Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wildness and streams in the desert. </div>
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<b>1 Corinthians 6:11 </b></div>
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But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ by the Spirit of our God. </div>
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He calms my soul in the midst of great change as I rest in the fact that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mal+3%3A6&version=ESV">he never changes</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=heb+13%3A8&version=ESV">He is the same yesterday, today, and forever</a>, and <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers+23%3A19%2CHebrews+13%3A8%2CJames+1%3A17&version=NIV">he never changes his mind.</a><br />
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Rest assured, dear ones, <b>change is good</b>. If relationships and circumstances go static, the story dies. Let's link arms and celebrate change in each other's lives as it is the goodness of God working and acting in us to make us more like Jesus. Let it be so of me!<br />
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Here is an incomplete list of good, difficult, refining changes happening in and around me:<br />
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<li>My kids are growing more and more independent.</li>
<li>Kyle is about to be driving.</li>
<li>Esther no longer lives under my roof.</li>
<li>Our house is in constant renovation.</li>
<li>Chad and I have been married for 20 years and our communication, especially in conflict, provides opportunity for growth.</li>
<li>Friends move away.</li>
<li>New friends come into my life.</li>
<li>Old friends leave my life.</li>
<li>Second Mile is growing in people, in responsibility, and in depth.</li>
<li>Second Mile has its own building which provides great change in so many areas.</li>
<li>Learning to lead in the big picture and not only in relationships stretches me.</li>
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The list could go on, as I'm sure your list of life changes could, too. And, by all means, my heart and soul eagerly hope for the fresh waters of change, but the weakness of my heart and flesh often jump in the murky waters of sameness. Our only hope is to trust God <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=phil+2%3A13&version=NIV">who wills and acts in our lives according to his good purpose.</a><br />
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"Change is fundamental in stories. If things go static, the story dies."<br />
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<i>How do you deal with change? Do you embrace it or flee? How do you train yourself to get out of the stagnant waters and embrace fresh water? What changes are you facing now, personal or otherwise? What character trait of God do you cling to in times of change? </i><br />
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<i>Comments are my love language so feel free to jump in and add your two cents and/or answer one or more of the questions. </i><br />
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<i>Many blessings to you as God brings change in your life to help you depend on him more deeply! </i>Angelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06963541298118334744noreply@blogger.com1