Fabulous Femininity

Thursday, May 19, 2011  ::  

Esther is 14. Next Wednesday is 8th grade promotion which means at about 9:30 am, she will officially be a high schooler.  Sometimes when I think about this, I'm giddy with excitement. She's funny, smart, loves to talk to me, is finding independence, and makes great decisions.  Other times the thought creates this strange uncomfortable lump in my throat.  She is gaining independence and allowing her to make her own decisions will most definitely lead to difficult times, but it's all part of the growing process.

Tuesday night Esther and I went out to her favorite restaurant, P.F. Chang's, to celebrate becoming a young woman. We've talked many times about how amazing it is that God chose us to be women, but I wanted this night to be extra special, something she would never forget, to feel completely honored.  Chad bought her flowers. We both wrote long, mushy cards to her. She fixed her hair and wore a dress which is a huge deal considering she's usually donning a grungy t-shirt and basketball shorts.  We talked, laughed, held hands, ate way too much, and had an incredible evening.  I feel like she has a great grasp on the glories of being a woman. I pray she allows God's intent of femininity to be cemented into her heart and mind.



These are a few points of being a woman that we've discussed. Godly femininity includes:


  • understanding that Christ has clothed her in strength and dignity. She doesn't need to earn or prove strength. Resting in the fact that God is giving her strength will create a confidence that she can never gain by her achievements alone. 


  • knowing that she doesn't need to work to have power over men or surrender herself to a man. She can have confidence in knowing that God designed her to be secure enough to allow the men in her life to carry heavy things, or open pickle jars, or physically protect her when necessary, but also to know that she can enjoy friendships with men who are secure enough to never be threatened by any physical, emotional, and spiritual strength that she exudes. 

  • believing that her body is made to glorify God.  She doesn't need to show cleavage or wear short skirts or tight t-shirts to gain favor, attention, or allure a man.  Her body is a temple that is reserved to worship, and if God wills it, to be given to one man.  Beautiful femininity understands that God's grace has provided clothes to cover what culture tells young women to show the world.  

  • believing that through the Bible, God asks women AND men to submit to authority, but does NOT ask all women to submit to all men.  In her secure God-centered self, she will trust God to lead her to respect the men in her life, be confident and humble in her opinions, and again, if God wills it, understand that apart from God-given authority in her life, her role as a woman requires submission to only her husband. Her trust and faith in God will prayerfully lead her to be with a man who is worthy of respect. 

  • knowing that having a monthly period is in fact not a curse, but a beautiful gift in God's perfect design that only women can truly appreciate and understand.  

  • realizing how much God loves women. Story after story after story in the Bible shows how tenderly, beautiful, lovingly, and perfectly Jesus interacted with women. 

Oh, how the list could go on. I so desire for all three of my beautiful daughters, not just Esther, to understand how amazing it is to be created to be a woman. The gift is priceless, to be a daughter of the King, an heir of the Most High God.  

Esther, Morgan, and Carah, may you truly know that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. My prayer is that your praise will come from your fear of the Lord.  Please be clothed in strength and dignity that Jesus provides. Know that being a woman is an amazing gift. Never be ashamed of femininity that glorifies God. Allow Him to guide and carry you to become the women He has planned for you to be!

Esther, I trust you to continue to seek Jesus above everything, to work hard, to laugh and have fun. Thanks for allowing me to invest so deeply in you.

To my women friends, think deeply today about how blessed you are to be a woman. It is a tremendous gift given from the God of the universe who ordained your very existence. You were not a mistake or after thought.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made, woven in the depths, created with beautiful femininity.

What do you love about being a woman? Step in the conversation and share your serious, funny, and deep thoughts.  


I seriously love this young woman!

10 important comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Stacy Patterson said...

What a great time you must have had together. Thank you for sharing. God has blessed you with a close, loving relationship, and provided wise counsel to us as daughters of the King Most High. May we adhere to your points and live a Christ-centered fabulous feminine life! Thanks again Angel!

John & Charity said...

This is amazing Angel! I think I might have to use this for my birthdaughter- who I placed for an adoption! she will be 15 in July and we see her about once a year....I am going up in mid-July. :)By the way....her name is also Angel!!! :)

Alysa said...

First of all, how is Esther a high-schooler already? Oh my goodness :) I think it is so perfect that you and Chad took her out to celebrate her like this. Thank you for sharing this so that we could be a part of this celebration, and so that we could be reminded of what Godly femininity truly is. We love you Esther!

Anonymous said...

Esther! Wow! She's just beautiful! And that blue dress! So pretty! So awesome that you are celebrating her femininity. It's so important! I grew up not understanding or knowing femininity. And yes! yes! yes! God loves his daughters! The thing I love most about being a woman is picking out earrings to wear each morning! It seriously is one of my favorite parts of my day!
Congrats to Esther! We love you!

Kelly

Charity said...

What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing. I don't have any girls, yet, but you have some wonderful points that you make in raising them. It's good to hear you had a great evening. I'm sure Esther, and your other daughters, will make you proud.

Susie Bishara said...

This post made me cry (shocker). I love how you are growing your girls to know their value, strength and just how beautiful they are (true beauty). I love you Esther!
I'm so blessed to get the opportunity to be one of her youth leaders. Thank youu.

christy.anne said...

Angel, I first saw this the other day, and I kept reading it. I especially love what you wrote about our bodies as temples dedicated to God's purposes entirely, unless he wills for us to be given to the one man who will become our husband as well. I just think this picture lightens things up so much in my head, for whatever reason. It puts God where he should be: first. Not dating, or "that part of my life". It's all secondary next to the beautiful calling to love and serve my savior, and to be a pure vessel for His work. The rest is entirely up to His discretion and not for me to worry about right now! Really, I love everything you wrote. I am so happy for Esther that she has a wonderful set of parents who are able to teach her that being a woman is not shameful, that periods aren't gross, that God loves us so much. Good stuff, I will probably still continue to read this post and be humbled by it, moved by it, and pray about what else God can teach me in this area of my life. Thank you for letting God speak through so much, Angel!

Heather said...
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Heather said...

Heather said...
I love how you talked about letting the godly men in our lives protect and help us - this was a hard lesson for me to learn. In college I always felt like I had to prove that I could do anything a man could, that I was completely independent. I'm grateful that God has put gentle, strong men in my life whom I can trust to help me without devaluing me or implying that I'm helpless. I'm grateful that we weren't created to be alone and independent, but to rely on the community God placed around us.

Liz said...

So beautiful! Thank you for leading me to your post :) I can't wait to share some of that wisdom with my little sister!

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