My Heart and My Home

Thursday, February 28, 2019  ::  

"What's your personal style?" A question that always brought me discomfort and dread. For years I had no idea. What were my favorite colors? In an ideal world how would I decorate? If money was no object how would I arrange, paint, purchase, and fill my home? Who in the heck actually knew? Certainly not me.  

Some people have a knack for knowing what they like and bringing it to fruition. I was not one of those people. Hand-me-downs and take-what-you-can-gets filled every room of my house. I didn't notice most of the time until someone asked me about my personal style, implying that surely the green carpet and dirty red sofas they saw couldn't be my heart's desire. 

My family has been situated on our little cul de sac for a little more than ten years now. We bought the biggest house we could get for our money so we could host large groups of people, but it also meant we chose to live in a fixer upper. I often tell my poor Chad that he knows how to do so much that he gets stuck doing too much. We've (he's) torn down walls, ripped up flooring, dealt with frustrating troubles, and now we are finally representing my (our) personal style. 

Through trial and error, age, and a fixed up house, here is what I've discovered: 

I like neutral walls so I can change decorations whenever I want. (I went through an orange accent wall phase. I liked it for approximately one minute. Ick.) 

I like bright decor to stand out on my neutral walls. 

I like texture on the walls. Wood, metal, fabric, anything interesting. 

I like to fill my shelves with memories, keepsakes, meaningful words, and lots and lots of books. 

I like bright open spaces with large, comfy furniture that whispers, "Come take a nap" and/or "Someone in this house is glad you're here." 

I like for people to feel like there is space for them when they enter a room... a chair, a clean floor, space at the table. 

Now that half my kids live in two places (home is still home), I really, really like for them to come home and know it will be full of peace, laughter, and deep comfort. 

We recently moved out our pingpong table and reoriented the entry room as seen below. The walls are covered with reminders of people we love. My artist and maker friends give me cool stuff and I love it! One print is a hand caligraphied piece we received as a wedding gift way back in 1995. Other prints are hand drawn or graphic designed. Each one makes me smile. Even Chad's childhood Donald Duck bank is displayed. Photos, Scripture, and important words fill the room. 
I change and rearrange these shelves regularly. I like the stable consistency of the wall color and shelves, but also like the reminder that change can be good in how I can rearrange the stuff on the shelves. I've caught everyone in my family grinning at me as I try to work the arrangement just so. 
Again, I can change the shelf in the middle (which is actually an old desk drawer. HOPE.. yes, I need the giant constant reminder that my hope is eternal and not temporal. And if you look at all the photos, you'll surely see a rhino or two or ten. Chad is a big fan of rhinos hence our whole family enjoys them prominently displayed everywhere. Sometimes the punks like them a little too prominent for me. They tease me often and I love every minute of it. 

Moving to our main living room in the photo below. Chad and our friends, Phil and Stuart, helped build this lovely fireplace and mantel. The mantel itself is reclaimed, hand-hewn wood. The piece above the fireplace is a reminder for Chad and me to be a place of refuge for our kids who will each be world-changers in their own ways. I pray we love, support, and continually launch them into the world so they can do the hard work of loving and helping others and that they continually return home for a refilling of love and support. A beautiful cycle. 
As Chad collects rhinos, I collect unique Nativities. Chad found this one on a recent trip to Las Cruces. I usually keep a few Nativities displayed year round. The framed Scripture is the passage that God used to hold me up during my stroke and recovery. 
Look at the cutest, tiniest Nativity you ever saw! My friend, Britt, gave it to me. I love it. And of course, my kiddos. 
I recently purchased this metal sign from Magnolia Market. If you've been around me lately, you've heard me say far too many times that I'm in a time of transition with my kids. For as long as I can remember, well-meaning people have spoken ill-meaning words over me as a mom. "Oh three daughters, just wait unit they are teenagers. It's going to be awful." Or, "Kyle is so smart and good-looking, he's going to be a heartbreaker and it's going to break your heart." Or, "You were so rebellious I bet your kids will be the same." And as they leave the nest, I've heard a few too many times words that sting deeply like, "How great it will be to have the house to yourselves" or "When they leave the house, they will leave relationship with you, too" or "Life gets harder and harder and lonelier and lonelier." 

On good days, I can understand that those words aren't about me or my kids, but about some pain in the person speaking them. On bad days, fear can grip me like a vice and I play out every dark scenario that comes to my dark mind. On days I choose to trust God who numbers my days rightly as I fix my eyes on him, I remember no one knows how the years will turn out except Him alone. The best is always yet to come because someday I will see him face to face. I'm going to keep opening the doors of my home as long as I physically, emotionally, and spiritually can to family and friends, therefore "The Good Ol' Days Are truly Yet to Come." This isn't a rose colored glasses sign for me. It's a reminder every time I come in my house and leave my house to look to the future with hope and expectation instead of fear and dread. 

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25 

Just as my heart is in constant remodeling, so is my house. Lest you think everything is how we want it, here are a couple of photos to the contrary. 
The remainder of the orange-ness and what will be my future office, reading, sitting, daydreaming room. We are building a pantry and making this little space cozy. I can't wait. Electrical work is first which means Chad needs a friend's help. Slowly but surely.
And, alas, our ugly, ugly bedroom. My kids tell me regularly it should be our next project, but I don't care too much about it. The walls still have patched holes from when we had to replumb our whole house and the carpet is still a 'delightful' shade of green. But whatcha gonna do? Eventually this will be remodeled, but I'd rather have a pretty back yard which is my current campaign. 

Hello to those of you who actually read all the way to the end of this post! It seems like just a few years ago we had people in our home nonstop. Life changed in that regards somewhat because my teenagers participate in many activities and I wasn't about to miss anything. But, I can feel a change coming where we will host more consistently again. We don't know what it will look like just yet, but I hope "my personal style" in building our home puts people at ease, beckons my kids to come home to replenish, and fills Chad and me with love, joy, and contentment for years and years to come. 

Now tell me, what is your style? Do you like to fix stuff up? Do you like to have people in your home? What do you look forward to in the future? One more question, do you look at the links I include in my blog posts? Just curious. 

4 important comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Unknown said...

How refreshing! As i read this it comforted me. I'm in the depths of planning, Pinteresting and questioning a million decisions on our extreme remodel. It was great to read about the purpose and love that goes into your decor and it reminded me of how sweet and welcoming your home is. Thanks for sharing!

Alisa Wilhelm said...

My relationship with my parents and siblings got closer and more important after I moved out.... so don't believe those nay-sayers.

Lindsey Rae Walsh said...

I love that you’re sharing about your home and process of making it what you want. I received Joanna Gaines’ design book called Homebody for Christmas and I love the way she talks about the home, and making it a reflection of the people in it. We’re renting right now so we can’t remodel—so the biggest thing we have at our disposal to control is the “things” we own. We’re in a phase of constantly assessing what we have and why it deserves a place in our home. I’m glad we’re honing in on that before we actually own a home.

Emily said...

I just love how you continually seek Jesus when things are hard. Intentionally setting things in your path and sight to remind yourself to focus on him. ❤

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