Bursting at the Seams

Monday, March 07, 2011  ::  

I've been struggling with posting blogs lately. It definitely isn't for lack of topics to write about. Mostly, my head is spinning with so much that it is difficult for me to sit down and write out something that will make sense. Last week in Chad's message he said that he gets smarter by talking. In case that doesn't make sense to you, it basically means that organization comes to his thoughts while he is processing out loud with someone who actively engages. More ideas are generated through talking which leads to more clarification and organization. He is definitely an external processor. And so am I. To sit and write something out that I haven't really had the opportunity to talk through takes a lot of time and discipline. Please know that I do engage in the discipline of sitting, thinking, and listening, but it is not my natural tendency. When I have so, so, so much going on in my head I have to make idea webs in my journal just to make sense of it all. I can't just sit and make co-herent sentences when my brain is stuffed full. It would seriously be a jumbled mess. All that to say, I've been struggling with posting blogs lately.

The plan is to unpack and write some of the things God is teaching me through the next few weeks. But, I don't want to lose you by not being faithful in writing so I'm going to give you some highlights of what is in my brain. I'm looking forward to seeing how God brings it all together.

  • caring for the widow, the orphan, the immigrant, the poor
  • living out His righteousness
  • what is going on next in Second Mile
  • the faith of a mustard seed (Oh, this is a good one. I can't wait to tell you about it.)
  • Not using the crutch or deflection tactic of talking about the lies I believe, but actually moving to repentance when he reveals issues in my heart
  • fear of failure as a leader
  • insecurities
  • wisdom from God and not selfish ambition or bitter envy
  • processing so much from the James series
These aren't light topics. Most of them are life changing for me and my family, and hopefully, for those I have the privilege of leading. I once heard that many American Christians stop learning when they turn 30 and just coast and pretend to hear new things from Jesus as they age. To be honest, this terrified me. I begged God to not let that be true of my life, that he would teach me, stretch me, and grow me until I meet him face to face. Almost eight years past thirty he has not disappointed.

What are some highlights of what God has been revealing to you lately?

3 important comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Sara said...

For all of your idea webs, I think you would really enjoy praying in color from time to time! I am excited to hear about what you have been processing about James and everything else on this list. I have been thinking a lot about the orphans in our city recently, insecurities, relationships between men and women, and the future of Second Mile. I'm really intrigued by the thought that identifying lies can sometimes be used as a crutch. I feel like God has been unraveling some of the same for me (through flow charts and idea webs!) and I often find myself wondering, "What next?" so I will certainly be simmering on this idea. Thanks for always sharing!

Susie Bishara said...

Thank you for sharing! :) God has been revealing in me, more of where I find my identity, the root of some lies and fears I believe/have come from, his tenderness/toughness, controlling/ surrendering anger, what righteousness and love looks like to live out.

Erin Leigh said...

Just yesterday, I felt very similarly...like there were just too many things going on for me feel like I'm really getting the full effect. But when I think about the over-arching theme that God has been dealing with me on, it made more sense that I was feeling unable to handle it all...because he has been teaching me that I can't handle it all, I'm not in control, his thoughts are higher than mine, HE overcame the world and I can't, I can only show mercy and grace because I first humbly confess that I need it and accept it. Humility is hard.

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