A Better Perspective

Wednesday, February 09, 2011  ::  

Expectations are funny things. Many of you know that I had written this post about sending a letter into the Nate Berkus Show back in September. I knew it was a really, really long shot to ever be contacted, and much to my surprise, they actually called last week asking if I could come to the show! What? WHAT?! Chad and I were definitely in awe over the whole thing. In my phone conversation with the show producer she mentioned that it wasn't concrete, that show biz can change. Ok. Expectations needed to stay in check.

I went through the week with my big ole mouth telling people about my potential coming trip. I'm a story teller and this was a great one to tell. Everyone was super excited with me. I continually told everyone that I was keeping my expectations low because I didn't want to be disappointed. I said that I wanted to enjoy any little part of this experience that was given to me. Was I lying or did I really believe the words coming out of my mouth?

Yesterday the producer sent me an email that said they had decided not to fly me to the show. My heart sank when I read the words. One of the areas that I struggle with is feeling stupid. My brain was instantly filled with thoughts of how stupid I am for telling so many people about the show. I was completely disappointed. I sent two mass texts and posted the change of plans on facebook so I wouldn't have to tell everyone. And, then I had a pretty good pity party... for reals. A short, but ugly one. Apparently, my expectations were a little higher than I had anticipated.

I took about 20 minutes by myself in my bedroom. I had intended to go cry a little bit, but I was reminded of the amazing gifts in my life... Chad, my great kids, amazing family and friends, a house that is big enough to host people, a love for hospitality that comforts people when they come over, an awesome community, and the hobby of writing letters to people I've never met about things that are just fun and silly. To be honest the small experience in talking to a producer of the Nate Berkus show was really fun. She told me several times that I'm cute and I'm choosing to believe that is New York City speak for "you are well spoken and witty." It was great and fun and surreal. Why should I discount any of it? I won't.

So, thank you, God, for Chad, my great kids, amazing family and friends, a house that is big enough to host people, the gift of hospitality, an awesome community, the strength of communication, and for the producer of the Nate Berkus show that thinks I'm really cute! And thank you so, so, so much for the things you have planned for me that no one can recount to you!!

5 important comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Alysa said...

Angel, you wouldn't be a real person if you weren't disappointed! I am still believing in big things for you. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly! Love you lots!

Unknown said...

Surely it was for my benefit that i suffered such anguish! Isaiah 38:17

Unknown said...

P.S. you are cute!

Anonymous said...

Yes Mabel, I think she is cute too!! :) Thanks for sharing your heart Angel....
I love you...xoxo

emily anderson said...

angel, not sure if you remember me---emily crouch, from emporia.
i just stumbled upon your blog--how random!

anyways, wanted to say hi!

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