Many people continue to ask how I'm feeling during this time of recovery. Thank you for wondering. Thank you for asking. Thank you for supporting me.
Tomorrow I turn the big 4-0. People who are over 40 often give me sweet pep talks about how great it is to be 40.
Turning 40 doesn't sit heavy on me because I'm afraid of being old. Forty seems to be arriving with a weight of responsibility.
Am I doing enough?
Am I learning enough?
Am I reading enough?
Am I investing enough?
Am I exercising enough?
Am I taking care of my family enough?
Am I loving my friends enough?
Am I prepared enough?
Don't worry. I don't think about all of these questions all at once. I ponder them all (and more) at different times in different ways.
One of the biggest learned truths that has come out of my 39th year is Jesus is my Sure Foundation. Honestly, there are times when I'm not pressing into Him enough. But, His sweet kindness leads me to repentance to remind me that His love is unfailing even if my attention wanes. He reminds me that His plans are for good to make me more like Himself. He reminds me that as life is completely unpredictable through sunshine, rain, snow, hail He is my Sure Foundation.
This Friday night my sweet husband is throwing me a giant Masquerade Merriment party. Several of my friends have expressed that they are excited to celebrate me during this fun event. But here is my secret: I'm excited to celebrate the community God has given me.
The last eight months would have been so much more difficult had it not been for my friends.
People who sent me packages, organized yard sales, gave financially, brought us meals, raised funds for us, gave us gift certificates for restaurants, took our kids out, picked them up from school, ran silly errands, wrote beautiful words of encouragement, asked Chad about me, protected my schedule, watched out for me in loud environments, told me to go home when the look on my face showed stroke, vacuumed my floor, washed my dishes, sent sweet texts, picked up the slack in my Second Mile responsibilities, exuded patience when I've struggled, asked how Chad was doing and how you could help him practically, and prayed and prayed and prayed.
These generous people live in other cities and states, live in Tucson, attend Second Mile, do not attend Second Mile. You are my friends. You are my community. Some of you won't be able to attend Friday night's festivities, but please know as I look around the room at the faces of those I so deeply love you are also in my mind's eye. You all have loved my family and me so well. Thank you! I plan to celebrate your friendships with joy, love, tears, silliness, dancing, food all while wearing a fancy dress and mask.
A year after I turned 30 we moved to Tucson, Arizona to start a community of faith in Christ called Second Mile. I would have never guessed the crazy adventures my 30s would hold...church planting, women's ministry, foster care, health issues just to name a few. As I enter my 40s I wonder what in the world does God have in store. Although it may bring some heaviness, it is out of reverence, awe, and gratitude for the future because I know that Jesus is my Sure Foundation.