Making New Friends

Last year I participated in a pen pal, secret gift, long distance meet up that sweet Kim over at A Cuppa Kim put together. It was great fun and I had been looking forward to this one all year. You see, last year I missed the whole point. Sure, I sent out a great mug. Sure, I received a great mug. But, to be honest, I have no idea who I sent to or received from. Really? Sheesh. Relationship fail. For me, while a package full of goodies is fun to dig through, a new friend is my main hope. I really like people. 

My package shipped out to the sweet Mrs. Dallner in Missouri. It was fun looking through her blog and Instagram. Her family is beautiful. I wanted her package to be lovely and feminine when she opened it up. 

Shortly after I shipped my package off, I came home to a big box with an originally designed address label. I knew the contents were going to be good if someone put so much effort into the mailing label! 

Oh man, Jan you blessed my socks off! This sweet person whom I've never met seriously took the time to get to know me. Through my blog, Pinterest, and Instagram she gathered information and nailed it. I mean, she was so detailed into who I am and what I like. I'm very impressed with Jan's intentionality and attention to detail. 

A personalized journal, beautiful nail polish, a card holder for memorizing scripture, a Zero candy bar (one of my favorite splurges), a Starbucks gift card, a fancy business card holder, and of course a beautiful mug. Her generosity overwhelmed me! The fact that she handmade parts of this package impressed me. As you all know, I'm not so gifted in the handmade department, but I am gifted in the enjoying other's talents department. 

And check out this beautiful mug from Anthropologie! I think it is gorgeous. Liquid tastes better after it sits in this mug. The bold colors, the shades of blue and green, the design...I love it. It is the perfect mug for me.

Here is a closer look at some of the goodies in my package. Jan even learned that Jeremiah 17:7-8 has been the most meaningful passage in my life over this past year. She really did her research. 

To be sure, the stuff in the box honored me. However, to be honest, the letter Jan wrote to me was the true treasure of this year's mug swap. Typed written, front and back, it was full of the details of my story she had gleaned as she sought to gift to me the perfect mug. Her words were encouraging, uplifting, and sincere. 

Jan, thank you. I can tell you are a gifted encourager. Your attention to detail makes this world a more beautiful place. I will pray for you each time I use one of the items you sent which will be often because of the wonderful variety of stuff you sent! I'm hoping we continue to cultivate a long-distance cyber friendship which translates into a real friendship. I'm thankful for you. Thank you for blessing me! 

One last thing: Because the mug swap was so fun last year, I decided to implement a mug swap during Second Mile's annual Retreat de Moxie. Last year 46 women retreated together to hear from God, laugh, and rejuvenate. This year 54 of us are heading to the mountains of Payson, AZ. Now some of you may be wrinkling your nose up at a woman's retreat. Often women's ministry gets a bad wrap, especially in the blog world. Don't lump us into any negative stereo-type. We allow Jesus to do some serious spiritual butt-kicking in our lives. We laugh our cheeks and bellies sore. We fully engage in worship. We hike, fly down zip lines, eat goodies, drink coffee, and talk and talk and talk. This weekend I'm blessed to lead this wonderful group of strong, intelligent, amazing women. Pray for us? And, don't be jealous that I'll be getting another awesome mug. 

The mug I received from last year's Cuppa Kim Mug Swap is on the left. The middle is my new treasure from this year's Cuppa Kim Mug Swap. I received the one on the right during last year's Retreat de Moxie. I'll be adding to this collection on Friday night. I'll come home with a good one, even if I have to steal it. 

Did you participate in this year's swap? 

Moxie ladies, have you picked out the perfect mug for Friday night? 

What is your favorite part of giving fun gifts to people? 

Surprises in Starbucks

I have a serious case of brain block. To be honest, I'm struggling in the land of ambiguity, therefore I feel as if the self-preservation practice of not thinking has overtaken me.

As you know, after many tests, scans, pokes, and prods it was determined I had a stroke in August. My doctor referred me to a neurologist that I've seen a few times. He ordered more tests and scans to determine the cause of my stroke. During my last visit with him, he crossed his arms, leaned against the cabinet and said there seemed to be no known cause, that because of my age and the location of the stroke in my brain, he was concerned and wanted to send me to a specialist in Phoenix so another set of eyes could look over all my charts and information. That was over a month ago.

I've called the Phoenix doctor's assistant once or twice a week since then, but he is "still looking at my charts" whatever that means. Apparently, he isn't thinking about my brain as much as I am.

So I wait.

The waiting game is like a roller coaster for me. Sometimes it creates an out of sight out of mind attitude. I act like I didn't have a stroke, don't take my baby aspirin, and pack my schedule full of meetings and activities. This foolishness results in increased symptoms such as tears, headaches, and difficulty in speaking. Clearly, ignoring reality isn't a great practice for me.

Sometimes in the waiting game, I over think everything that has happened. I research online to find answers about having a stroke as a 39 year old woman in the right temporal lobe of the brain. You will not be surprised to know there is some scary information on the internet! I believe that being an advocate and educating myself is wise. I believe researching without a foundation of knowledge and an actual diagnosis is unwise and can lead to fear.

Sometimes in the waiting game, I avoid good things like blogging, reading books, thinking deeply about theology and how God is active in our world. Honestly, I think (ha) if I would engage in these activities I love, I may find some relief from ambiguity.

But, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid if I move on that I may forget something bad happened to me this summer.

I'm afraid if I move on my community will expect me to be the way I used to be, able to keep up with all of life's demands.

I'm afraid if I move on I will actually discover that I've just been being a baby.

I'm afraid if I move on I will never know any answers as to why I had a stroke in the first place and that there might actually be an answer AND if there is an answer we don't know about I'm afraid it may happen again.

I'm afraid if I move on and try to start reading deep books or have deep conversations I will be confronted with one of my worst fears that my brain has changed too much and I'm not smart enough remember or to keep up.

I'm afraid if I keep typing out all these fears I didn't know I even had I will be bawling my eyes out right in the middle of this Starbucks. The other patrons may feel awkward. Good news: I'm not afraid to be awkward. I'm a natural at awkwardness, but I should be considerate of others.

Oh fear, you suck. I can rationalize that you are irrational, but isn't that the point of most fears? Well, up yours! I am moving on, but not like you tell me I should by ignoring reality, researching to the point of fear, or sitting on the floor with my hands over my head hoping nothing else falls on me.

I'm taking Chad's and Lauren's advice in remembering that intensity is not the point. Daily devotion and consistency is the point. I know these truths in my brain, but once again, life circumstances are requiring me to move what was once easily lived out into a deeper, more experiential place in my heart and mind.

To live this out, I will try to read a couple of paragraphs of A Glorious Ruin by Tullian Tchividjian  (Thanks, Alysa) three or four times a week. My goal/hope is to blog five times this December. To many of you that may not seem like much, but these are a big goals for me as blogging and reading are much more difficult than they used to be.

I will take my baby aspirin every day. I will continue to go on my morning walks and go to yoga class once a week. I will not overdo it in meeting with people, but I will have a few meetings each week.

The most difficult goal is to talk with a few friends about what I'm really processing concerning this dumb stroke. Ugh. This one is a hard one because being the overly intuitive person that I am, I often wrongly intuit that I'm bothering people. I know, I know. It's silly, but I'm a sinner and have wrong thinking sometimes. Thank goodness for Jesus' grace and the gentleness of friends.

I appreciate some of you are gearing yourself up to "hold me accountable." While I appreciate the offer, I think this public confession will be all the accountability I need. If all of the people that love me start asking if I'm reading every day I may punch someone in the face with harsh words and then you will feel sad and rejected and then I will have to apologize and then you'll wonder if I really love Jesus, so maybe just encourage and pray?? Is that fair? It's not that I don't need accountablity. It's just that I don't need it from all of you.

Whew. This blog post was a shock. I set out to write about why traditions are important to me and ended up telling you about some ickiness in my heart. I guess the good news is I have still have another topic to write about!

Friends Who Live Radically

I'm finally reading Radical by David Platt. I have issues because if people start saying, "You just have to read this," or "This is the best book ever," I lose interest. Maybe it's because I don't like to be told I just have to do something. Maybe it's because I don't like bandwagons. Maybe it's just pride.

First, let me say, I like the book. He's a good story teller, has wonderful points, and if people took his words to heart the world would change.

But what cracks me up is how people get all fired up like this is the first book ever written on this subject.

Chad and I are so grateful that we were invested in by people who have lived radically for a long time.

David Englehart at New Mexico State University has been used by God to mobilize college students to give their time, money, and lives so that the nations will worship Jesus. He discipled Chad and me while we were in college. For over 20 years, David has kept his hand to the plow and faithfully served God by inspiring students to live radically.

Jeff Lewis spoke at our campus ministry and many conferences throughout our college career. He blew my mind in teaching that God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to the nations. Every time I heard him speak he would say, "I just wish I had more time to get into this." I remember I always thought my brain was going to explode with the information he did have time to share.

A pastor and friend, Tim Johnson, taught me how to love people. Any time the church would gather I would watch him talk to as many people as possible, but Tim has such a love for people that each person he spoke to knew they were loved. People aren't just a number in Tim's church. They are valued. Tim knows how to value people.

In reading Radical I found myself wondering about Second Mile's statistics. Mr. Platt shares wonderful stories of how God is using people in beautiful ways to love people and change the world, stories of many people coming to Christ. As I've continued to read, I've asked God what radical things are happening in my church. Here are a few things that came to mind.

Josie was born at 23 weeks. By all science she shouldn't be here. But she is. She turned four last week. She is a light to all who know her. Her parents proclaim Jesus' miracles in their family to anyone who will listen.

Seven college students went to east Asia this summer to tell fellow college students about Jesus. They raised a lot of money to go. Some gave up jobs. Some dealt with unhappy families because of their choice to go. They saw sweet fruit of their labor, but what is really awesome is how their hearts were changed. The world is a smaller place and God is so much bigger to them now.

Yemi used to live in an orphanage in Ethiopia. Her parents went through hell on earth in the process to bring her home, but they stayed the course. Yemi is a firecracker to say the least. Her mom and dad continue to talk about caring for orphans. God has changed their lives through adoption, and their journey in loving children in distress has just begun.

Three years ago Jen gave her life to Jesus. Just three short years ago. She and her husband have committed themselves to radically follow Jesus, both are being discipled, and will be leading their own community group starting in February. They have decided to radically change their lives and align themselves with whatever God will have them do.

What about you? Have you considered following Jesus?  If you already follow Him, how has your way of life changed? Have you contemplated what Jesus meant when he said to take up your cross and follow Him? What does it mean to you when He says whoever wants to save His life will lose it, but He who loses His life will save it? Are there people around you who boldly live for Jesus? In what ways can you encourage them today? 

Matt 5:41 If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 

Luke 14:27 And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. 

I John 5:3 This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome. 

For further reading on living radically please consider The Barbarian Way or The Unstoppable Force by Erwin McManus.