Good Gifts and a Giveaway

I've put off writing this post for awhile now. I had the idea and then everything flipped upside down and it just didn't seem cool to write about what I had been enjoying.

But, my birthday is this week, so this is my birthday gift to you all: Some things that bring me joy mixed with a pretty good giveaway that THREE people can win. Based on comments and entries in my past giveaways, the odds are truly in your favor so go ahead and participate.

Blooming flowers in our church building's courtyard. Oh how I miss gathering with my people. 

The truth is I've been pretty sad over the last five weeks. Can anyone relate? This sadness presses my body down and makes me feel tired most of the time. My daily prayer is that joy will outweigh the sadness and that I will cling to Jesus through Scripture, music, and being outside. Which leads me to the first thing I've been enjoying: The Psalms. I read a few each day and let the emotion, struggle, and God-focusedness wash over me. The words of each Psalm ring so, so true for our lives right now. I'm praying Psalm 20 for you, my friends:

 May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!
    May the name of the God of Jacob protect you!
 May he send you help from the sanctuary
    and give you support from Zion!
 May he remember all your offerings
    and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices! Selah

 May he grant you your heart's desire
    and fulfill all your plans!
 May we shout for joy over your salvation,
    and in the name of our God set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!

 Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
    he will answer him from his holy heaven
    with the saving might of his right hand.
 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

They collapse and fall,
    but we rise and stand upright.

O Lord, save the king!
    May he answer us when we call.

Amen! May we call on the Lord our God and may we faithfully wait for him. Don't make excuses to not seek him. We must open our Bibles whether we feel like it or not. He's all we truly have, so let's cling to him.

Worship music reorients my mind in good ways. There are two new albums I play over and over. They've been out for a couple of months now so maybe you've heard of them. I want to share anyway, just in case you haven't. And, please feel free to send me your favorite worship songs or albums. My friend, Sara, regularly sends me new music and I love it.

The first is Matt Redman's Let There Be Wonder. Here is the link to listen to it through your preferred streaming service. Funny story: I found myself humming one of the catchy songs on this album fairly regularly. It was always in my head, but I couldn't really learn the words because it is in Spanish. I asked Kyle to listen to it because I'm that annoying mom who is super proud of his language abilities so I push all Spanish stuff his way, especially if it is Jesus Spanish stuff. He looooves it, only he probably doesn't. One day I was listening to the whole album, focusing on each song so I could learn them and sing along. Guess what I discovered! The Spanish song is also in English! I had just never noticed. I'm so good at details, you know. Why I noticed the Spanish version and not the English, we shall never know the mysteries of my brain.

The next album I'd like to recommend is Shane & Shane's newest one, Hymns in the Round. Here it is on Apple Music and Spotify. Every song is excellent. We recently started singing Ancient of Days over our Sunday livestream gatherings. It's been an important song in my life for over a year now. Every word is a balm for my weary soul. If you aren't sure where 'Ancient of Days' comes from, what it means, or why it is important, please take time to read Daniel 7, specifically verses 13 and 14. We must keep Jesus our focus. His dominion is an everlasting dominion and his kingdom shall not be destroyed.

To be honest, the next thing I'd like to tell you about may be a little much for some of you. It's intense and needed for this generation which my intense, prophet heart loves, but it is no joke. Have you heard of or watched American Gospel? There are two movies and they are total butt kickers. If you are able to watch, prepare yourself. The first movie, Christ Alone, tears down America's love of prosperity. If you think you don't fall in this category, think again. Something in it will convict you. It certainly did for me. The second Movie, Christ Crucified, goes after all the ways American culture waters down the cross. If you want to know more about how to discern false teaching, this movie will help. It truly angered me how susceptible we all are to terrible teaching. Sound like a fun series to watch? Well, good isn't always fun. Sometimes good is also difficult. They are long movies, so it may take awhile to get through them, but as it turns out, we've got some time on our hands.

Now we enter the giveaway portion of this post. See what I did there? Made you read all that other stuff to get to the goods.

You all know I like books. I had my spring list ready to go, but to be honest, reading takes hard work for me these days. Sadness that leads to tiredness and reading takes focus so it isn't compelling right now. To top it off, I was reading Lore Ferguson Wilbert's new book, Handle with Care: How Jesus Redeems the Power of Touch in Life and Ministry when life flipped upside down. To read about touch in a time when we are not even supposed to be close to one another sucked, but I finished it. It was a good read and I look forward to healing hugs again. Here are the books on my spring list. I've read all but two and will start another one today.

I'm not going to link them all. You can easily find them where ever you purchase your books. 

I'm giving away two copies of Beth Moore's Chasing Vines and one copy of Audacious, also written by her (which is out of stock so bonus for you). Both are excellent books, compelling, deep, and easy to read.

If you win a book you will also receive a $25 gift card to Lovely Enterprises or Why I Love Where I Live. If you are from Tucson, you already know and love Why I Love Where I Live. I'm always happy to support them as they continue to inspire people to love the city I so dearly love. Lovely Enterprises is associated with Jesus Said Love in Waco, Tx. They seek to change the lives of people impacted by the commercial sex industry. I'm wearing my new favorite shirt from their shop in this photo:

Lovely Enterprises Shop

It's my birthday month, so this is my gift to three happy winners. You will each win a book plus one $25 gift card to your choice of Lovely Enterprises or WILWIL. All you have to do is comment on this post, on Facebook, or on Instagram. Tell me something you are enjoying during these days. That's it. I'll choose the winners sometime next week.

Thanks for reading. As you all know, it is a weird, weird time in our world. In my opinion, there is no better time to be lifting our faces to Jesus, waiting on him, and making our gratitude lists. What are you thankful for today?

Soul Care

Beautiful words filled my mind when the alarm went off this morning. 

I've spent this week wondering: Wondering why Alysa gave me her IF: Gathering ticket. Wondering what to expect. Wondering about the women in the IF Facebook groups. Wondering what God has for me. Wondering what to expect or even if I should have expectations. Wondering if God has something to teach me, show me, tell me. Wondering. 

Yesterday I focused on laying all the wonderings down. The God of the Universe owes me nothing. Jesus is enough. His presence in my life is a gift of His unfailing love. As I faded into sleep and whispered the dreamy prayers of my heart, I confessed to Jesus that the break from routine and sitting in His presence this weekend was enough for me.  

At 6:05 the alarm buzzed, and my mind was instantly full. 

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope; my soul waits for the Lord, more than watchman wait for morning, more than watchman wait for morning." Psalm 130:5-6

"My soul finds rest in God alone. My salvation comes from Him." Ps 62:1

"My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods, with singing lips my mouth will praise you." Ps 63:3

Turns out my true desire for this weekend is to rest in Jesus, to have little to no responsibility, to just be with Him. The burden of expectations has been lifted.

I'm already breathing more deeply and slowly, enjoying the slowed rhythm of waiting. My soul rests and waits. He will satisfy me, not the music, not the speakers, not the women with whom I interact. I trust He will use those good things, but He doesn't need to. He is enough. 

On Being Present

I love that you can share ideas with a ton of people through the medium of blog posts. It's very cool and convenient. But at the same time, sometimes it leaves gaps in the story, advice, or overall picture of what is being typed out. To be honest, I enjoy the process of writing to share my heart, but I do not consider myself a writer per se. I'm a leader, an investor in people, a passionate prophet, and I use this blog to share my heart, however, my written words don't always flow naturally, and sometimes, a week or so later, I feel heavy at the thought of placing unintended burdens on people.

Last week I enjoyed the privilege of sharing a bit of parenting advice on my lovely friend Alysa's blog. I most certainly stand by the overall point that, for me, each stage of parenting has been better than the last. However, after more thought on this very subject I wanted to take the opportunity to add some clarification of what it has meant for me to be present through each season with my kids.

A definition of present that I'm quite fond of is "existing in the now." That's it. Pretty basic. It doesn't say loving every single minute, thriving always, knowing exactly what to do, or being overly positive or inauthentic about life's challenges. Being present is existing in the now. Shauna Niequist put it this way a few months ago: "Present over perfect." Yes, present as to not miss anything, but being present does not require rose colored glasses of fakeness or oblivion.

My overall hope of the post was to encourage parents to be present in the seasons of their kids' lives. However, a burden of day to day drudgery may have been hoisted onto the backs of moms who are currently struggling, and that is never ever my intention. Listen, I'm no perfect lady. Through the years there were late summer days that I just wanted/needed school to start, or night terrors or vomit explosions that led to sleepless nights that led to grouchy next day mom, or kids that wouldn't listen so I yelled my frustrations in their face to say "CAN ANYONE HEAR ME NOW?!"

Oh yes. So many sins I could list here, but that isn't the point. I've owned up to my mistakes with my kids and with my Jesus, so I'm able to move forward and trust that God is molding me through the process of parenting. Make no mistake. Parenting isn't only about you molding your kids. In fact, through parenting, my life is continually being molded by a gracious and direct God in unbelievably profound ways.

But here is what I really want to tell you about being present as a parent.

It's not about being in every moment of every day. Sometimes we get so caught up in keeping our heads down to do the work on the ground level that we forget to look up and see the trail, to gain our bearings from the sun and stars, and see the path ahead. Sometimes being present is about living in the day to day, taking it all in, caring for sickies or whiners, making memories, holding and cuddling. Sometimes being present is about keeping your parental vision of raising humans beings that love God and love others in focus so that you don't lose your way.

The times I struggle the most in parenting is when I've been neglecting taking care of my soul. Do you have the times that you are "so present" that you haven't showered, gotten out of the house and walked through an isle of breakable things without panicking, read a book, or talked to an adult? Those times for me shriveled my soul. Now, I've never been a proponent of "me time." Seriously. I cannot stand that phrase. Our culture is obsessed with self. But I am a very strong proponent of soul refreshing time.

Friends, one of the very best ways you can be present as a parent with your family is to care for your soul. What fills you? What breathes life into your weary bones? Do you even know? Are you willing to set time aside to just read for 10 minutes a day? Can you leave your child in their room so you can take a five minute shower? Do not just take care of your body through diet and exercise. Do not just take care of your mind through reading a good book or engaging in good conversation. Do not just take care of your heart through spending time in prayer or going out with friends.

Take care of your whole, entire person. Your soul.

Do not get bogged down in the external distractions of self, self, self. Look inward to see what you truly need, and then allow God to deal with your soul. Five to ten minutes a day of soul care will carry you through being present so that you can believe that each stage is better than the last.

For those of you that are in the trenches this is what soul care looks like for me then and now:

• exercise 4-5 days a week at a gym with childcare (glorious gym childcare. *sigh*)
• read 5-10 minutes a day, not to my kids, to myself
• meals at the table most nights when I had littles, 2-3 times a week currently
• showered when I wanted to, put my kids in their crib or room guilt free
• "Go play in your room without my direction or instruction. Just play."
• regular Bible study either by myself or with a group of friends -- so refreshing
• investment into others' lives so that I wasn't self-focused
• invited people over regularly and taught our kids that they weren't the center 
• adult music in my car -- the Wheels on the Bus can wait 
• deep breaths, eyes closed, whispered prayers of thankfulness and love

Oh this is such a short list. Soul care is deep, important work. I continue to learn about how important it is. (I'm currently reading a book on this topic. I'm only on chapter 3 and I love it so much, but feel the need to be responsible to read the whole thing before I recommend it. Stay tuned for more on this subject.) 

How do you care for your soul? Do you engage more in your external or internal life? What importance do you see in the balance of both internal and external when it comes to being present? Have you experienced that your current season with your kids is better than the last? Why or why not?