Going the Second Mile for Fifteen Years

On a cold November day in 2004, we said goodbye to Lincoln, Nebraska and headed to sunny Tucson, Arizona. In preparation we prayed, gathered a team, strategized, and wrestled with God about what it would look like to drive across the country to start a church. From scratch. With no job. In a city we had never lived.

For whatever reason (the Holy Spirit shielding my normally worried heart), I had no fear. Through prayer, I believed God had revealed to me that Chad would obtain a management position at Starbucks (he did), that our kids wouldn't suffer from lack of fancy kids ministry (they didn't), and that our friends moving to help in this process were our allies and teammates (they still are).

The early days of church planting were exciting and difficult. Our team of 10 was on a steep learning curve. Everyone scrambled to find jobs, to make friends, and to invite any and every person we met to be part of a new church in Tucson we called Second Mile. Our growth seemed super slow in the beginning, especially because I had naively and stupidly asked God to give us 1000 people in the first year. My DNA was infused with the truth that "more time spent with fewer people equals greater lasting impact for the kingdom," but the American mega church culture tricked me into wanting the numbers. But God, as is always true, had a better plan.

Second Mile is now 15 years old. Thankfully, by God's mercy and grace to me, I've learned some stuff through the years. A "15 lessons I've learned in 15 years" list would be so nice right now, but my brain doesn't work like that, so here a few thoughts rumbling around in my guts.

One major point of learning is that books are my friends. A bit of critique that Chad and I received when we were young leaders is that we weren't readers. It stung and I was indignant so I've spent all the years from that point working to prove that person wrong. My motives maybe weren't great, but here we are. In the 15 years of Second Mile, I've read many books, good, bad, and mediocre. I pray I will always be able to read and implement good lessons into my life and leadership. Currently, in the middle of my life, I think I'm reading better than ever, and that's pretty fun. Recently on separate occasions, two women I admire told me I was smart, and it blew my mind. Self-doubt comes easy for me, so their words were a bolstering gift and encouragement to keep reading, learning, and growing.

To be more specific about reading and learning in the last 15 years, the Bible is absolutely necessary for me and for our church. You may have heard this, but when we were just trying to start a church, Chad went to a conference and felt God telling him to preach Scripture, word by word. All these years later, he's still at it. His discipline spurs on my own personal discipline. I can't imagine doing anything I do without the guidance of the Holy Spirit through the Bible. It is life for me.

Your words were found and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts. 

Jeremiah 15:16 

The next area of growth for me came through the many times I wanted to give up. The name, Second Mile, lends itself to us being put to the test fairly regularly. Jesus told us to not just go one mile with people, but to go two. In the first couple of years, my family was faced with a challenge that showed me the depth of my weakness and how God would work through us to love people and honor him. One late night, I said to Chad, "Maybe we should have named our church "One Mile Community Church" or "Easy Street Church" because I'm afraid the 'second mile' will be the death of us." And it has been. Over and over, dying to my own rights, laying down my life, focusing on Christ's strength in my weakness.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself up for me. 

Galatians 2:20 

If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Luke 9:23 

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, 

so that Christ's power may rest on me. 

2 Corinthians 12:9

Last year, God very clearly convicted me of my verbal sin of saying, "I don't want to do this anymore." What we speak out loud becomes our reality. I knew I couldn't/wouldn't quit because I'm stubborn, but my words soured my heart and disposition to obeying God's direction in my life with reverent joy. Stubbornness would never sustain long-term obedience. I had to quit quitting with my words so that my heart would stop being tempted to really quit.

Let us not become wearing in doing good for in the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 

Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not give up. 

2 Corinthians 4:1 

Recently, God clearly showed me one experience that helps me not give up. I know this will be difficult for some people to read. Please don't let it heap shame on you. Instead, let my life and words encourage you to press in and keep going. Sunday morning gatherings with my church jolt me with the ability to wake up each Monday and continue on in the battle of life. I hate missing it. When I show up on Sunday, I feel like we look in each other's eyes with an understanding that life really sucks sometimes and then gently remind each other that Jesus is our everything. When we worship through singing, it feels like I'm pushing back the darkness and reminding our enemy that he's defeated and Christ is King. When I open the Bible to receive teaching, it feels like my parched self from the long week fills up with the Living Water. When I see people I love, whether I personally know them or not, it reminds me that I'm not alone, that we are in this together, that I need my brothers and sisters and they need me. Through the years, I've learned that not everyone feels this way about Sunday worship. If you are in that space, I pray God redeems gathering with his Church for you very, very soon. Sit and weep, stand and sing, watch and pray, whatever is necessary for your heart to be bolstered for the daily, weekly, yearly battle until we finally see him face to face. The gathered Church is our reminder that this is not our home, that Jesus is coming again, that he will make all things glorious and new, and that God's glory will rest on us for eternity. Come quickly, Jesus.

Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. 

Hebrews 10:25 

One of my favorite fruits of longevity in Second Mile is deep, deep relationships. People have hard lives and when you are in community with one another it leaks out and you can't stop it. It amazes me how many people love me anyway. Chad and I have walked with people in joy, suffering, and grief, both theirs and our own. You cannot go through life's valleys and mountains with people and not love them more. For me, it is impossible. When I close my eyes and scroll through 15 years of faces, my heart swells. A few years ago at our women's retreat, as I shared from Ephesians 1:16 the phrase "continually thankful and continually prayerful" came out of my mouth over and over. This will always be a major theme of how I feel about the people of Second Mile.

However, the years have also had moments of great relational difficultly. When we started Second Mile, we had heard many stories of "post-moderns" leaving churches because of hurt and pain caused by the church. People continue to come to us not sure they can engage because of wounding of past church experiences. It grieves me. However, what I did not anticipate is we would become the source of pain for some, that people would leave us with wounds we caused, that we would not always be given the opportunity for reconciliation. This has grieved me so much more. What I've learned is that, in most cases, there truly are two sides to the story. I can easily say Chad and I and other Second Mile leaders are doing the best we know how to do, but we are sinners and make mistakes. I never thought we would be a perfect church, but I didn't anticipate just how imperfect we would be. When we receive hurting people in our body who have left a church, I now appreciate and experientially know the people they left are also hurting. There have been times I wondered if my relational heart would survive another person leaving us. It has been deeply painful and it takes continual work to prevent my heart from building walls to protect itself. Living up to people's expectations is a false burden I constantly have to lay down. I do hope to continue to love people with Jesus' help to the best of my ability, even though sometimes they will leave. Which leads me to the best lesson of all:

All of these 15 years, ever single one is for Jesus alone. Every meeting, every book, every late night, every early morning, every shared meal, every event, every training, every conflict, every friendship. Everything. It's all for him. Sometimes I'm slow and my motives turn to myself, to Chad, or my kids, or the people I serve. When my vision is skewed and I look to anything other than Jesus, I lose perspective, joy, and the desire to continue. He alone is worthy of my service and worship. Whatever comes out of my life and flows to others must be from Jesus alone. He is the very center of my affections. This will be a daily, life-long choice: Jesus is better.

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is he beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. Colossians 1:17-18

This list could go on and on. Chad and I believe we are just scratching the surface of all God will continue to teach us through leading Second Mile. We pray God grants us years and years of serving him in this particular family. If you are part of Second Mile, I'm thankful for you. If you have been part of our church in the past, I'm thankful for you. I've you've ever prayed for my family, my church, or me, I'm thankful for you.

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members so not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

Romans 12:4-5 

If you could each experience in your hearts and minds how serious I take this verse, it would certainly overwhelm you and possibly freak you out. But I believe it. We belong to one another. There's no escaping. We deal with it now or in eternity, so I plan to keep working it out in this life in order to more fully enjoy the life to come.

With so much gratitude and love,

Angel

Congratulations on making it all the way through this long post! As a form of reward for your diligence I want to give two of you my current book obsession. I love Christmas (more on that later) and to help me truly focus on why I love it, I read books. Last year I read Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus Christ, and this year I'm reading it again. A good friend of mine described it as fantastical and he is not wrong. So, so good. I wish all of you would read it. 

If you'd like a chance to win a copy, all you have to do is comment on the blog post, on Facebook, or on Instagram. One catch, you have to leave a real comment. None of this "What a nice post, Angel. So sweet and precious." Um, no. Give me some meat. Did anything in the post challenge or encourage you? What have you learned in your time in Second Mile or in your own church? A legit comment. My guess is your chances of winning will be high because the requirements are too high for many people. Doooo it! 

A Beautiful Mysterious Cycle

I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.  Ephesians 1:16

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him, and strengthen in the faith, just as you were taught, overflowing with thanksgiving.  Colossians 2:6-7

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  1 Thessalonians 5:18

A little over a month ago, I taught about some verses in Ephesians chapter one at Retreat de Moxie. On my knees, I begged and begged God to do deep, rich work in the lives of the women with whom I would journey to the mountain. Now, I imagine him smiling at me while I prayed, whispering, "Just wait until you see the deep, rich work I'm doing in your life, dear one." 

During the retreat the theme "Continually thankful, continually prayerful" came up over and over again. I can't begin to express what these words have come to mean to me. 

The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me. The one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!  Psalm 50:23

I've questioned the meaning of thanksgiving as a sacrifice since I memorized the verse over a year ago. What could it mean? How is being thankful sacrificial? Sacrifice means to give something up that you especially want to keep. What would it look like in my life to be sacrificially thankful in order to glorify God? 

Bitterness, envy, and selfish ambition sometimes taunt me. James 3 uses these words to describe the wisdom of the world that is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. Comparison, hurt feelings by not being considered the way I hope to in friendships, frustrations as a leader, or even simply wanting to be included rob me of experiencing wisdom that "comes from above." 

As the Holy Spirit worked in my heart over the last few months, I'm experientially learning deep in my guts that thankfulness increases wisdom. 

          Wisdom in how I respond in relationships.

          Wisdom in keeping my gaze on Jesus and not on the world. 

          Wisdom in joy as I journey this life. 

          Wisdom in thankfulness as I pray for anything and everything that pops into my mind.

Wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.  James 3:17 

Offering thanksgiving consistently, sincerely, and continually teaches me to give up to God what I hold most dear. Thanking God for my family reminds my soul they are his. Being thankful for the ability to run, cook, host, mentor, and do all I love to do reminds me that he created me and I belong to him. Offering thanksgiving for the people in my life, the people I pass day to day, the bagger at the grocery store who talks with me each time he sees me reminds me God loves people more than my mind can fathom. Thanking God for the times of great difficulty in my life reminds me he works through adversity to make me like his Son. 

The sacrifice of thankfulness continues to acknowledge all we have is his. He gives to us out of his goodness. He takes from us out of his goodness. When we are thankful it is an act of acknowledging apart from him, we have no good thing. And then, all he gives to us, we freely sacrifice back to him as a worshipful act of thanksgiving. It's a beautiful, mysterious cycle that glorifies God. 

Is it beginning to make sense? Are we thankful for the sake of gaining our own warm fuzzies or are we thankful in order to testify to his benevolence in our lives and our sacrifice of all things we hold dear to follow him? 

In my experience these few months, as I've been more thankful, prayer has increased. As gratitude increases contentment increases. As appreciativeness grows I'm more open to reason, full of mercy and good fruit. When contented thanksgiving fills my heart, I feel peaceable and gentle. The fruit of his Spirit increases, and bitterness, envy, and selfish ambition in my life decrease. 

Thankfulness grows, prayer grows. Prayer grows, thankfulness grows. And the fruit I didn't anticipate in all of this is wisdom from above which is "first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."

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How are you growing in thankfulness? When you find yourself frustrated with someone or something would you be willing to try to spend a moment being thankful instead of hurt? In what ways have you grown in your ability to be continually thankful and continually prayerful? 

I'm so thankful for you, dear one. It blesses me richly when you read my words. 

Leaking Pipes :: A House Renovation

Second Mile finished the Hebrews series with a bang. Several people shared with us what God spoke to their hearts through Chad's teaching and their own study. We worshipped as a body and lifted Jesus high. Chad and I sat on the couch when we got home that evening to rest in what God breathed into our community through 36 weeks of in-depth Hebrews study.

And then our sweet Morgan came into our living room to tell us there was water all over the floor. It was quite a jolt to the peace we were enjoying on the couch.

Therefore, we started out the week of Esther's high school graduation with a forced, major remodel. We were told our house needed a total re-plumb which meant we would have no water for awhile (two weeks.) We had floors ripped out, our guest bathroom gutted, and two feet of sheetrock cut out in much of the house. We had industrial dryers and dehumidifiers set up to prevent any funk from growing in our walls. Lovely.

In the beginning of the flood, my heart was so, so sad. You see, I'm a planner, and a celebrator, and a mom. I love tradition and ceremony. I enjoy stopping in moments to make memories. (I mean, I literally stop in moments to take mental pictures to create memories. My mind and heart have some awesome shots I've collected through the years.) Considering these "special" qualities I possess, the plan I've been concocting for Esther's high school graduation week was quite grandiose and impressive. From the breakfasts I would make to the balloons I would fill, from the family dinners around the table to the open house we would host for all our friends, I had some serious plans!

But when your house has no water or walls, plans have to be changed. Friends, it was a real struggle. Not the kind of "the struggle is real" stuff with which people hashtags their annoyances. The kind of struggle that I had to wrestle through to come a point of surrender. I would love to tell you my heart and mind are so sanctified that it was a quick, easy, painless process, but alas it would be a lie.

I cried.

I schemed.

I fumed.

I dismayed.

Then on Wednesday, Chad and I went to lunch and decided to take hold of our circumstances and celebrate Esther with our family and friends to the very best of our abilities. It was a turning point for me. I went home, cleaned as much as I could to create space for us and welcome our extended family, decorated for Esther, and wrote down the schedule and plan for the remaining week of graduation.

Our community rallied around us beautifully. Because my friends know how important hosting is to me, we were given gift cards to take our extended family out for dinner. So many people offered to open their home to host Esther's graduation party. Many people gave sacrificially to us to help begin to pay the bills for the renovations. The church family who learned good things through Hebrews about being the church fully stepped into love and care for my family. I could never express how much I love these people. Through seasons of great difficulty for us, from foster care to stroke to our current house discombobulation, we are deeply cared for.

**Thank you, Second Milers! You guys are the best!** 

Chad has been working so hard everyday, trying to finish the renovations before we leave for vacation. Did I mention he's doing most of the work himself so we can get the most bang for our buck? This "disaster" gave us the opportunity to make our house awesome. Yay, us?

This 

 Turned to this

 And then turned to this 

I'll share a photo of the completed bathroom soon. It's going look awesome! 

When it is all finished, maybe we will host an open house so you can see what we've been up to. For now, here's a little sneak peak at the new and improved laundry room. 

All in all, I know it's small potatoes compared to the suffering in the world. I asked God to increase thankfulness in my heart through this ordeal and he's been faithful to do so. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait for it to be finished. But, I'm thankful for a house, for a husband who knows how to build and fix stuff, for resources to restore our home, for friends who provided and care for us, and for the coming days when this project will be complete.

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What about you? Do you struggle sometimes to be thankful in all circumstances? What have you been thankful for lately? Do you enjoy house projects? Are you working on anything major right now? 

Many blessings in the trials, my friends! 

Hole-y Orange Focused Lady Time

The memorable moments of 2013 have been a consistent point of conversation in my house over the last two weeks. Our friends, Matt and Susie, asked us to dinner one Sunday after Second Mile's gathering and engaged our family in great discussion. Susie asked everyone to name the top moments of the year. We all participated, but the beauty of the question came in the days to follow. It led me into some great reflection and introspection which forced my kids into reflection and introspection. It's kind of a fun tool of torture to make them talk about all sorts of things. I'm pretty sure they don't mind.

As you may have noticed blogging isn't necessarily my friend anymore. I'm not sure what the problem is other than lack of motivation and material. I recently googled blog topics and one of the ideas was "What celebrity would you invite for dinner and what would you serve?" Seriously? People actually read that stuff? In my book that's a big fat WHO CARES?! All this to say, I've had this post rolling around in my brain and decided to force myself to type it out. And guess what... I already have another idea for my next blog post that will include a give away, so you won't want to miss out.  (I haven't forgotten that I need to complete this series. I will. I promise.) 

I cannot rank these moments. They are important in 2013 for different reasons. If you attend Second Mile, Chad shared some of these same events. If you would like to listen to a great message to catapult you into reflecting you can watch it here or just listen here.  

Less Hole-y

As we started 2013 we were still very much in the dark of why I had a stroke. I met with both a neurologist and a cardiologist in Tucson that could find no reasons for what had happened to me. Thankfully, my Tucson neurologist was humble enough to share with us that he felt like he was missing something and wanted us to see a stroke specialist neurologist in Phoenix. It took longer than I wanted to have an appointment with him, but once he examined me and all my records he was convinced that I had a hole in my heart and that the first cardiologist missed it. This neuro doctor was also able to explain the process of healing my brain would take. It was a huge relief to hear his words and look at the graph he drew. When I asked him if certain issues I was experiencing were symptoms he responded by reassuring me that anything I was now experiencing that I did not experience pre-stroke was a symptom and that I was not crazy. I felt like I had the "big fat you're crazy giant" kicked off my shoulders and out of my thoughts. It was a tremendous relief, but at the same time a reality check that I was indeed dealing with real symptoms.  

As you know the cardiologist did find a hole in my heart and it was patched in February. I like to say that it is an adamantium patch, but it's really just nickel and titanium. Having my heart fixed is definitely a great point of 2013. All of the nightmares of recurring stroke instantly stopped. I had faith when I was awake to discipline myself not to worry, but apparently my subconscious was not faith-filled. 

Orange and Gray

When we bought our house we knew it needed some love in the form of updating. We chose to purchase a large home with the purpose of hospitality and family fun. Big and new was not an option for our budget, so big and 1970s fit the criteria. For most of 2012 we lived in a shell of a house. We couldn't hire out the work, so it had to be done as Chad had time to do it himself or enlist skillful friends to help. Mixed with all my health stuff meant renovating was slow going. In 2013 we (Chad mostly) finished a huge portion of what we were working on. It's not complete, but it is livable, comfortable, and enjoyable. We are at a great resting point until more time and money show up in our lives.

  

The Big 4-0 

Yep. I'm 40. People ask if it feels different and my answer is yes, but I think it has to do with multiple life circumstances coming together that has made me feel more grounded, more self-aware, more reliant on Jesus. Chad threw the most amazing masquerade bash ever. To see my friends and family dressed up, smiling at me, dancing, enjoying great food, and celebrating my life with me is something I will never ever forget. This 2013 highlight is most definitely a whole life highlight. It was amazing. If you want to remember or read about it for the first time you can read this post and this post.  

Focused Time

Our family took three significant trips together this year. We went to Disneyland right before my heart procedure. San Diego became one of our favorite places through a trip in July and another one in November. These times with my family recharged and refreshed me. Calling the trips a mere highlight doesn't do justice to how meaningful it was for us. I am so blessed to have four great kids that actually enjoy spending time with their dad and me. We are all a bit crazy which makes our time together joyful and goofy. The older they get the better our relationships. Each stage of maturity requires shifts and change, but Chad and I have committed to navigate the waters of family change with prayer and hope for healthy adult relationships with each of our children. Trips like these contribute to fulfilling our hopes for the future. 

Lady Time 

Retreat de Moxie challenged me greatly this year. More women attended than ever before. The 2012 retreat was a blur because of the health challenges I faced, so I felt fearful as this retreat approached. God blew my socks off with what he taught me through his word as I prepared each session. I was so hopeful it would translate as I shared my heart with my friends. In my opinion, the retreat was a great success because Jesus was lifted high, women drew closer to him, new friendships were made, and old friendships were deepened. Retreat de Moxie will probably be a highlight every year. 

I hope you've already spent time thinking through 2013. Looking back in a reflective way gives us an opportunity to be thankful for the blessings and the trials. We learn and grow emotionally and spiritually with each situation, relationship, experience we endure. My prayer for you is that you will allow God to reveal himself to you as you enter 2014. 

As for me, I'm trusting God for what he has in store for my family and me this year. I know it won't all be easy, but I believe if we allow him to carry us, guide us, mold us through this year we will be more like him as 2015 begins. 

LKM photography

What are some of your highlights from 2013? I would love to hear about something you experienced and/or learned over the last year.  

Jumbled, Confused, and Strong

I haven't posted anything for a few weeks. If you know me personally or you've read any other posts you probably know why I've been kind of quiet.

Chad and I are still visiting doctors so I can get poked and prodded as doctors try to figure out why I randomly had a stroke one day. So far, all my systems have checked out beautifully which is a very good thing.

My heart? Great. My blood? Excellent. My arteries? Clear and flowing. One more test to check the smaller blood vessels in my brain. I wonder why they couldn't check the smaller ones when they checked the larger ones, but who am I to question a neurologist? I planned lessons about leaves for children in college. (No offense to all you fantastic amazing teachers out there.)

After this final test when they tell me the small blood vessels in my brain are also perfectly fine (which is, of course, what we are praying) we will move forward with a cryptogenic stroke diagnosis which basically means I randomly had a stroke one day. More about that when it becomes the actual diagnosis...

As for my quietness in blogging, my brain hurts. I mean, I can tell you exactly where my stroke occurred because when I think for a long time on a subject, or review my memory packet for too long, or engage in intense conversations, or plan four sessions on Titus 3 for a women's retreat my right temporal lobe throbs. So, in order to avoid pain in my brain, I avoid this blog.

The thing is I love this blog. It is a convenient tool to use with the women of Second Mile I am blessed to lead. A few people I've met though out life read my thoughts which humbles and excites me. It has also become a conduit for relationships with women I would have never "met" apart from this crazy internet land. When I'm not blogging I feel somewhat voiceless in these areas.

I was blessed over this past weekend in that Retreat de Moxie gave me the opportunity to use my voice with 47 lovely ladies. I spoke on Titus 3, challenging the women with reminders of how to treat people, who we were before Christ, that we are saved by His generous kindness and love, and how we should treat one another. The passage continues to play over and over in my mind. My prayer is it is playing over and over in their minds, too.

To be honest, this weekend took everything I had. The sports mantra "leave it all on the field" popped into my head several times during the retreat. After each session I went to my little closet that my sweet friends transformed into my room and laid on my air mattress and let the tears stream. Don't worry, friends. It's mostly stroke symptomatic. However, there was also emotion stemming from desiring my old brain back. I didn't want to have to lay down. I wanted to talk with everyone, to hear what each person was processing, to stay up late and laugh, but physically I just couldn't.

As I would lay there and pray, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 became more personal than it had ever been.

There was given me a thorn in my flesh (in my brain). Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it from me (probably more like 30 times.) But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in all kinds of weaknesses." Therefore, in the quiet moments in my closet I chose to be thankful for this new weakness which allowed me to depend on Jesus in a way I never had. In my weakness, I pray he used my words to challenge the women and glorify Himself.   (Paraphrased and made personal)

After the third and last session on Saturday evening, I sat down and turned my heart towards Jesus to thank him for letting me speak to His daughters. I confessed to Him that I felt like it was the worst teaching I had ever spoken in my ministry years, that it was jumbled and confusing because my brain felt jumbled and confused, but asked that He would use it anyway. I confessed my feelings to some friends and they told me my assessment was wrong. Isn't the Spirit funny that way? When I felt my absolute weakest, He made something good for His people to hear.

"Remind the people...Titus 3" 

Thank you, Moxie ladies, for letting me lead you during the retreat. Your prayers helped to lift and carry me. You all make me so happy.

Thank you, friends, for continuing to love and support me during this weird time. I often tell myself what I'm going through could be much worse in order to gain perspective, but perspective does not diminish the fact that my brain has changed and this is difficult.

My hope is to continue to write on this blog. I'm pretending it is good therapy to help the re-wiring of my brain progress a little faster. Don't you agree?

Retreat de Moxie friends. Photo taken by the lovely Monique. 

A Personal Contentment Challenge

1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

"I want..." and "I need..." often come out of my mouth.

To challenge myself in living with contentment and gratitude, I've decided every time I think or say that I want or need something I will follow it up with at least three things I have that I'm grateful for.

I want a heart rate monitor.
     I'm thankful for the ability to exercise.
     I have a "hobby job" that allows me to exercise in a gym for free.
     I'm thankful for the great shoes I wear when I work-out.

I need to go see the chiropractor.
     I'm thankful I don't struggle with chronic pain.
     Thank you, God, that you carry the weight of the world, not me.
     I'm so glad I have a comfy bed to sleep in that supports my back.

I want to go out to eat.
     God, thank you for an abundance of food.
     I'm so thankful for clean running water.
     I don't have to cook alone. Chad or any of my kids will help me.

See?  Easy and perspective giving.

Last night I shared my thoughts with my family. I think we will all be participating in this for awhile. Please know that I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing to want stuff. Eventually, I will purchase a heart rate monitor. This isn't only to curb my greedy appetite. Creating a deeper heart of gratitude for the extreme amount of abundance in my life is my aim.

You should try it, too. I'm already surprised at how much peace, contentment, and thankfulness it is creating in my heart.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Linking up with my great friend, Alysa, this week! I sure love that lady!

Ann Voskamp's book is on my reading list. Some women in my life who have read this book highly recommend it. She takes having a heart of gratitude to a whole new level. Have you read the book? How did it reading it change you?