On Fasting When You Have to Eat

This is Second Mile's tenth annual week of prayer and fasting. I know it is cliche to say, but I really can't believe we've been doing this for ten years. It blows my mind just a little. The act of gathering as a church with one heart and mind to start the year praying through the same topics and fasting from a variety of pleasures bonds us, strengthens us, and challenges us.

Through the years I've fasted for different lengths of time from food. One year I skipped the internet for the week, but decided it didn't draw me closer to Jesus in the end. For me, fasting from food forces me to experience emptying myself and relying on Jesus in mysterious ways. The clarity and worship not eating brings to my heart, mind, and soul lifts me up. Therefore, last year when people who love and care for me brought up the fact that I should probably eat during our special week because of the health issues I was facing, I felt crushed and left out. In God's mercy and omniscience, I learned to engage in the week in different ways and I grew in compassion and understanding for those who cannot fast for a variety of reasons.

The excitement for this year's week of prayer and fasting has been building in my heart for months. Go big or go home, right? Since I didn't fast from food for the week last year, I figured I could just go ahead and fast a few days longer than the week this year. To be clear, my motives were not to make up for lost time, but to celebrate the healing that's taken place in my body and to rush into the presence of God. However, my sweet, loving husband who does more than I could ever explain to take care of me, especially since I don't often take care of myself, sat me down a couple of weeks ago to gently bring up the fact that I'm taking blood thinners, that fasting from food may not be the best option considering the potency of the medication, and that I should do some research. If you know me, you know I was instantly in the state of "Whatever! I will deny myself food if I want to!" That's kind of an ironic statement of rebellion if you think about it.

Long story short, Chad was right. Shocker. He's right most of the time. I love it and it drives me crazy. I can rely on him completely, but I can rarely win a debate on details and logistics. Again, if you know me, you're laughing at me debating details and logistics. Let's just say those two words do not translate well in my view of the world.

I'm writing this little blog post for those of you who may be thinking and wondering about how fasting pertains to you. Some of you are on medication, or are nursing babies, or take care of sweet littles and not eating could endanger them, or work in very stressful or strenuous jobs. We are all at different places in our lives. Important notice: This is not a blog post to give anyone an excuse to not fast from food if God is leading you in that direction. There are people in our church who have stressful jobs or take care of sweet littles that fast from food. You must run your own race! You must seek God in this area, ask him about fasting, and obey.

I'm letting you know what I will be doing for this year's fast to invite some of you to join me. I've taken some ideas I've found on the internet, as well as Jen Hatmaker's 7 book to come up with my own personal plan.

Starting soon, I will only be eating apples, chicken, broccoli, and brown rice, using minimal olive oil, sea salt, and pepper to cook the broccoli and chicken. My stomach needs something or my blood thinners will turn on my body. We don't want that. For me, I will be limiting my quantities for each meal, but if you choose to join me, you should check with your doctor about your necessary caloric intake.

Eating only these four foods for a week will force the issue of simplicity, which is important in fasting, will cause me discomfort, which comes with fasting, and will make eating about sustenance and not so much about pleasure, which food is almost always about pleasure for me.

If you have any questions or thoughts, leave a comment or shoot me an email or Facebook message. I will promptly reply. What are your plans for fasting? What has been your experience in fasting and prayer? How can I help, encourage, and pray for you through this walk of obedience? 

Let me end this post with these important words:

Romans 14:17  

The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. 

Hebrews 3:12-13 

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of us has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the Living God, but encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that 
none of us may be hardened by sins deceitfulness. 

Hebrews 10:23  

Let us hold unswervingly to the HOPE we profess, 
for He who promised is faithful. 

Grace in Progress

Pain is the stuff of learning. It either beckons you to your bed to hide, pushes you to the middle of the ring to fight, or forces you to your knees to surrender. It's easy for me to write all about the beauty and wonder of 2013, but when I look back I also see circumstances that caused me to hide or to fight and eventually, to surrender.

To read wistfully chipper blog posts, look at artfully crafted photos on Instagram, and see perfectly crafted confabulation in friends Facebook feeds often leads me down the ugly road of comparison. Many years ago a friend shared a story of well-respected women who became embittered toward each other because of comparison that led to competition. Ultimately, God brought sweet redemption through grace in teaching them to run their own race, to keep their gaze fixed on Him alone, to encourage one another in the race He had set before them.

If you've been around me at all, you will know this has become a life motto for me.

"RUN YOUR OWN RACE" percolates it's way through so many of my conversations, or teaching times, or admonishments to the women I'm allowed to lead. I say it to myself as a mantra whenever the green-eyed ugly sin monster of envy creeps its way into my heart.

Do you not know that in a race only one runner gets a prize? Run in such way as to get the prize.  1 Corinthians 9:23 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1 

My last blog post was full of loveliness, wasn't it? So full of beauty, healing, and peace. Each story is true and full of hope and light and love. I'm thankful beyond thankful for each experience. The lump in my throat as I ponder each moment testifies to gratefulness that overwhelms me.

I summed it up to say the year left me feeling "more grounded, self-aware, reliant on Jesus." Because it was tied to the end of all that peaceful beauty, the implication was those sweet stories took me to that point.

Yes, they definitely had a hand in my feelings of peace and contentedness.

Yes, they definitely leave me in awe of God's continued grace to me through joyful circumstances.

Yes, they definitely speak to only half the story of what God has used in my life that sometimes makes me want to hide, fight, and hopefully, eventually, surrender.

Friends, His grace to me over this last year was also demonstrated through pain and heartache. So many of the lessons are still fresh and raw.

Through 2013 God gave me opportunity after opportunity to be more grounded in who He has made me to be, to stop trying to meet all the needs all the time, to know that He is a God who delights in kindness, justice, and righteousness on the earth. A forced sabbatical left me alone most days until September. To be alone with my thoughts, sin, and grief was terrifying much of the time. To see people around me still struggling and not be allowed to help caused me to question my identity like never before. To see people heal and grow without me caused me to question my value like never before. Through tears, prayer, and trust in His refining through fire, I grew to know that my grounding is in the Rock that is higher than I. 

My soul finds rest in God alone. My salvation comes from Him. He alone is my Rock and my Salvation. He is my Fortress. I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2 

Again, through God's grace, self-awareness came by way of truly seeing how much pain my sin causes the Spirit and my people. Oh, but grace. My heart swells to know that as I become more aware of the ugliness of my heart, it can never outpace the depths of His grace. I'm more aware than ever that apart from Him I have no good thing.

Last year I humiliated myself with extreme emotional reactions. I said hurtful, cutting words to people I love and that love me. I yelled at my kids too many times. I scoffed at the pain of others. I ignored the Spirit's beckons for time in His word. I hid lazily to avoid dealing with life and loneliness. But in the depths of His great love, through seeing all the muck of my heart I became more and more and more aware of grace, that I cannot run full steam ahead to gain his favor, that I cannot earn his love through working harder, that I cannot work hard on behalf of those I love, trying to convince them to run harder, faster, longer in order to know more of God's grace to them.

One of my favorite worships songs says this: "What else can I do but worship? What else can I do but bow? Because all I really long for is you, all I really need, Lord, is you." Yes. Self awareness that leads to much, much God-awareness.

My need for reliance on Jesus came in the form of having too much time alone and then was lit like a fire in the form of jumping with both feet right back into the lions den of relationships . True, ugly confession: In my younger years of ministry I unknowingly believed that I had something to do with people's heart change. It wasn't that I wanted credit for what God was doing in their life, I just believed that if I said no, or didn't speak up, or didn't meet "just one more time" I would fail the person, or worse, fail God.

The gospel I preached was faith through grace. The gospel I lived was work, work, work, plea, plea, plea, carry, carry, carry, and then hopefully, if God is pleased, faith and change happened.

I'm exhausted even just typing out that strategy.

After sabbatical the painful reality of the depths of pain people endure hit me right square in the face. My eyes were black for a couple of months if you didn't notice. As I sat and cried with people, or worked to point people to Jesus, or begged God in prayer on their behalf to change it all, I began to feel the load of work, work, work, plea, plea, plea, carry, carry, carry. The gifts, groundedness and self-awareness, shined the light on the lie of my old strategy. Reliance on Jesus rose to the surface as my greatest need. His grace brought me through many dangers, toils, and snares, not my own work. I'm continually facing the choice of relying on my own work ethic, or my own ideas of right and wrong, or my own desire to see change in the world around me OR relying on the fact that His grace will lead me, hold me, sustain me. The more I believe this for myself, the more I believe this great treasure for those around me.

Asking about my top moments of 2013 brings a smile to my face and a tranquil sigh from my lips. Pure beauty. Asking about my most painful moments of 2013 brings a deeper, thoughtful look to my face and a deeper, longer sigh from my soul. So many of these moments aren't moments at all. They are on-going, still fleshing themselves out, still a grace in progress.

If there was any part of my last blog post that caused your heart to wonder about the pain you may be experiencing in your own life, please know it was a only a window into my life and home. Pain is the stuff of learning. The value of my pain is neither greater nor lesser than others. It is simply my own race, the one God has mapped out for me. And through His great grace I want to run it with perseverance, groundedness, self-awareness, and complete reliance on Jesus.


How are you learning to rely on Jesus? If you don't rely on Him, on what or whom do you rely? What is one thing you've learned about yourself and/or God over the last year? Share your thoughts if you'd like.

Hole-y Orange Focused Lady Time

The memorable moments of 2013 have been a consistent point of conversation in my house over the last two weeks. Our friends, Matt and Susie, asked us to dinner one Sunday after Second Mile's gathering and engaged our family in great discussion. Susie asked everyone to name the top moments of the year. We all participated, but the beauty of the question came in the days to follow. It led me into some great reflection and introspection which forced my kids into reflection and introspection. It's kind of a fun tool of torture to make them talk about all sorts of things. I'm pretty sure they don't mind.

As you may have noticed blogging isn't necessarily my friend anymore. I'm not sure what the problem is other than lack of motivation and material. I recently googled blog topics and one of the ideas was "What celebrity would you invite for dinner and what would you serve?" Seriously? People actually read that stuff? In my book that's a big fat WHO CARES?! All this to say, I've had this post rolling around in my brain and decided to force myself to type it out. And guess what... I already have another idea for my next blog post that will include a give away, so you won't want to miss out.  (I haven't forgotten that I need to complete this series. I will. I promise.) 

I cannot rank these moments. They are important in 2013 for different reasons. If you attend Second Mile, Chad shared some of these same events. If you would like to listen to a great message to catapult you into reflecting you can watch it here or just listen here.  

Less Hole-y

As we started 2013 we were still very much in the dark of why I had a stroke. I met with both a neurologist and a cardiologist in Tucson that could find no reasons for what had happened to me. Thankfully, my Tucson neurologist was humble enough to share with us that he felt like he was missing something and wanted us to see a stroke specialist neurologist in Phoenix. It took longer than I wanted to have an appointment with him, but once he examined me and all my records he was convinced that I had a hole in my heart and that the first cardiologist missed it. This neuro doctor was also able to explain the process of healing my brain would take. It was a huge relief to hear his words and look at the graph he drew. When I asked him if certain issues I was experiencing were symptoms he responded by reassuring me that anything I was now experiencing that I did not experience pre-stroke was a symptom and that I was not crazy. I felt like I had the "big fat you're crazy giant" kicked off my shoulders and out of my thoughts. It was a tremendous relief, but at the same time a reality check that I was indeed dealing with real symptoms.  

As you know the cardiologist did find a hole in my heart and it was patched in February. I like to say that it is an adamantium patch, but it's really just nickel and titanium. Having my heart fixed is definitely a great point of 2013. All of the nightmares of recurring stroke instantly stopped. I had faith when I was awake to discipline myself not to worry, but apparently my subconscious was not faith-filled. 

Orange and Gray

When we bought our house we knew it needed some love in the form of updating. We chose to purchase a large home with the purpose of hospitality and family fun. Big and new was not an option for our budget, so big and 1970s fit the criteria. For most of 2012 we lived in a shell of a house. We couldn't hire out the work, so it had to be done as Chad had time to do it himself or enlist skillful friends to help. Mixed with all my health stuff meant renovating was slow going. In 2013 we (Chad mostly) finished a huge portion of what we were working on. It's not complete, but it is livable, comfortable, and enjoyable. We are at a great resting point until more time and money show up in our lives.

  

The Big 4-0 

Yep. I'm 40. People ask if it feels different and my answer is yes, but I think it has to do with multiple life circumstances coming together that has made me feel more grounded, more self-aware, more reliant on Jesus. Chad threw the most amazing masquerade bash ever. To see my friends and family dressed up, smiling at me, dancing, enjoying great food, and celebrating my life with me is something I will never ever forget. This 2013 highlight is most definitely a whole life highlight. It was amazing. If you want to remember or read about it for the first time you can read this post and this post.  

Focused Time

Our family took three significant trips together this year. We went to Disneyland right before my heart procedure. San Diego became one of our favorite places through a trip in July and another one in November. These times with my family recharged and refreshed me. Calling the trips a mere highlight doesn't do justice to how meaningful it was for us. I am so blessed to have four great kids that actually enjoy spending time with their dad and me. We are all a bit crazy which makes our time together joyful and goofy. The older they get the better our relationships. Each stage of maturity requires shifts and change, but Chad and I have committed to navigate the waters of family change with prayer and hope for healthy adult relationships with each of our children. Trips like these contribute to fulfilling our hopes for the future. 

Lady Time 

Retreat de Moxie challenged me greatly this year. More women attended than ever before. The 2012 retreat was a blur because of the health challenges I faced, so I felt fearful as this retreat approached. God blew my socks off with what he taught me through his word as I prepared each session. I was so hopeful it would translate as I shared my heart with my friends. In my opinion, the retreat was a great success because Jesus was lifted high, women drew closer to him, new friendships were made, and old friendships were deepened. Retreat de Moxie will probably be a highlight every year. 

I hope you've already spent time thinking through 2013. Looking back in a reflective way gives us an opportunity to be thankful for the blessings and the trials. We learn and grow emotionally and spiritually with each situation, relationship, experience we endure. My prayer for you is that you will allow God to reveal himself to you as you enter 2014. 

As for me, I'm trusting God for what he has in store for my family and me this year. I know it won't all be easy, but I believe if we allow him to carry us, guide us, mold us through this year we will be more like him as 2015 begins. 

LKM photography

What are some of your highlights from 2013? I would love to hear about something you experienced and/or learned over the last year.  

Because I Said So

One of my blog world pet peeves right now happens to be a very popular trend. It actually makes me cringe every time I see a Facebook post with four little words in the title. I couldn't put my finger on the specifics of why it bothered me so much until the last few days.

As I mentioned in my last post Chad and I are currently leading a group of up and coming leaders in Second Mile. Challenging a group to think deeply about different aspects of leadership always challenges me to rethink and relearn, as well as enjoy new ah-ha moments of leading others. One of the exercises we work through in the class is coming up with a list of our own personal core values. Friends, this is not an easy process. I've been working on my list for a couple of years now and it is finally coming together in a more satisfactory way. In fact, I'm ready to share my list with you. Just kidding. I'm definitely not at that point. But I will share one.

               Understanding

I so value understanding. The funny thing is I shared with the group last week that "self-awareness" was one of my values, but in just six short days it morphed into the more descriptive value of my life as "understanding."

Through the lens of truly understanding, I highly value

• knowing who I am, how I'm wired, how I process the world.
• when others truly know themselves and seek to be better.
• the background of those who are telling me stories.
• the history and context of someone who is hearing my story so that I can fit my words into their framework.
• the opinions of others. (This is a developing skill. Note I said understanding opinions, not agreeing with opinions.)   

A couple of passages in the Bible have been key in my heart and I didn't realize the connection until Sunday night. 

Psalm 119:33-34 

Teach me, O Lord, to follow your decrees that I may keep them to the end. Give me understanding, so I may keep your law and obey it with all my heart. 

Proverbs 18:2 

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing her own opinion.

I've always been a person who wanted to know why. "Because I said so" continues to mean pretty much nothing to me, not because I'm rebellious, but because I value understanding. I want to understand and help my kids understand. I want others to understand. I want to understand the Bible so I can obey it with all my heart. Understanding bolsters my relationship with Jesus and my relationships with others. 

Before I get back to the pet peeve I mentioned earlier, I want to make a clarification so you can understand I don't mind if you've done this. There is no judgement from me to you. I only cringe when I see the posts because my heart to is see the whole picture, a response, an ability to understand. You've seen the posts. You've been stirred by them. You've even sided with some of them. 

An Open Letter To ________________. 

Dear celebrity, 

Dear politician,

Dear moms of younger children,

Dear moms of older children, 

Dear person I've never met and will probably never meet, 

Dear person I don't know how your day is going and you were really rude to me so I'm going to respond to you, 

Did you see me just get up on my little soap box just now? 

Dear lady on her soap box who should step on down from there, 

Please know I get the point of these letters. From my understanding (heehee) they are to make a directed point in an area of disagreement with something or someone we've encountered in our life. And let me just say even those of us who haven't actually written one out have possibly written them in our heads in one form or another. 

The problem to me is a lack of understanding, a lack of dialogue, a lack of response. The verse I mentioned above says that a fool doesn't try to understand, but only airs their opinion. I do not want to be a fool. 

Actually, I want to respond to others with understanding which is perceiving and comprehending. Understanding does not mean I have to agree with everything. But for me to be able to engage with love towards those around me, I want to understand. When I don't understand I find myself responding with fear or hate or apathy or annoyance or extremes. 

But even if I don't agree with a personal political preference, but work to understand someone's point of view, I can respond with dignity, directness, and diplomacy. 

Even if I don't agree with how someone can be so hateful on the road to another driver, I can seek to understand that maybe they are having a bad day or were raised with different manners than I was, and I can respond with dignity, compassion, and directness. 

Even if I don't agree with how someone in my community is dealing with a life situation, I can seek to understand their perspective and lovingly come along side to help, carry the load, bestow dignity. 

When we don't respond to the world with understanding, we set ourselves above others, we steal dignity which is part of being an image bearer of God, we lose our voice to the world around us, we look closed off and closed-minded. 

If you know me you know I have strong opinions. Understanding does not mean you forfeit the right to think and formulate opinions. On the contrary, understanding deepens your personal insight into the world around you as you lean heavily on God's word. Twenty years ago I naively began to ask God to give me understanding into His word and how it applies to the world. His faithfulness to sand paper away the edges of dogmatic opinion has led me to love Him more deeply which has led me to love others more deeply with a desire to understand. 

The great thing about a blog post like this is it only creates more questions for me. How does understanding differ from agreement? How can you seek to understand in split second scenarios without passing judgement? At what point does seeking to understand become a hinderance to action? 

What about you? Have you thought about understanding the world around you on a micro and macro scale? To you, what is the link between understanding and dignity? 

Share you thoughts with us. Send me an email if you want more discussion on this topic. I will work to seek understanding in your thoughts and questions. 

Apples, 25 Minutes, and Learning

Gosh. September 10th was my last post. That's a long time ago. I've written many blog posts in my head, but obviously they haven't gotten typed out. Some of the topics in my brain I want to share with you are quite heavy, so jumping into those with more than a month's hiatus seems wrong.

I need to finish the talking to your kids about sex series I started. I want to share with you what my job of being on staff at a church as a women's ministry leader looks like. I've been contemplating the gift that is Chad's teaching our church gets to enjoy every Sunday. It would be fun, but very weird to write something about that so that post may just stay in my head. But, to get back into the swing of things I decided to just tell you what I'm enjoying and learning lately. That should be easy enough.

Up first, Matt Reddman. Can I just say this man has been anointed to lead the global Church to worship Jesus? I mean, really. He is a gifted song writer and leader. I bet many of you can share several songs that he's written that have been used over the years within the Church. Take Heart of Worship, for instance. Or Blessed Be Your Name. Or Holy. In my opinion, his new album, Your Grace Finds Me, does not disappoint. I wasn't wowed the first time I listened, but as it's been on repeat in my vehicle I've grown to love it. The song This Beating Heart makes me so happy. When song writers use phrases like, "My soul, my soul sings for you," it speaks my language. "There's music within my soul, more than these flesh and bones I know." Yes! Exactly how I feel! If you like Matt Redman (and if you don't, don't tell me. Just keep your weirdness to yourself) buy the album. It's good.

Buy it HERE 

What else am I into? Honey Crisp Apples. This is the only time of year you can buy them, so I do. They are pricey, but I just love them. Apples are my favorite every day fruit. They are an easy, quick, filling, delicious snack. Gala apples are my go-to, but right now it's all about the Honey Crisp. My friend, Susan, introduced me to their deliciousness so I think about her every time I enjoy one. You should try it. Again, if you don't like them, don't tell me how weird you are. Ok?

Moving on...

Chad and I are currently leading Persevering in the Second Mile which is a 10-12 week leadership class. I love it. Investing in young leaders of our church excites and inspires me. Also, it challenges me to think deeply about how I'm growing in my skills and gifts to lead others.  One area in my life I'm currently mulling over is my schedule. Good leaders don't let others control their schedules. Uh-oh. This is a big area of needed growth in my life. It is difficult to write out how this needs to change without putting unnecessary burdens on others. I can say church details, meetings with a variety of people with a variety of life circumstances, and juggling my four busy kids' schedules often leaves me completely spent at the end of every day. My health is so much better, but it is still an area of concern which is difficult for myself, let alone others understand. One of my least favorite phrases to say or hear is "I'm exhausted." Most of the time when it is said it is spoken with tired exasperation like, "I'm sooooo exhaaaaauuusted." Ick. Makes me shiver. So instead of uttering those dreadful words, I'm asking God to direct my mind and heart towards Him, to lead me in my schedule, and to teach me to toil with His power at work within me which is so much better than trying to do it on my own. Understatement, much? 

In all of this learning to order my schedule, I know taking care of myself is very important. Another thing I'm totally into right now is Shaun T's T25. Man, oh, man. I have obliques right now! I can't even believe it myself! I am planking my way into feeling great! T25 has helped me get rid of the excuse of not having enough time. It is a hard hitting, 25 minute, core-focused, two month workout system. If you need something new to shake up your current exercise, look into this. One word of caution, you will get addicted to the fact that it is only 25 minutes. I'm not sure I will be able to go back to the hour long work-outs I used to do. I can find 25 minutes in just about every day (except yesterday.) Ha!  

Order it HERE 

A few more random things I love...  Morgan and Carah singing songs over and over and over from their school play that's coming in December, roasted vegetables, Chad's persistence in many areas of life, pumpkin displays at all the grocery stores, hearing my kids constantly ask about that annoying fox, watching Esther get excited about college, Instagram, Kyle dressing up for Fashion Disaster Day at school, Second Mile meeting in a new location, a denim shirt I purchased at Ross, and YOU.

What are you into these days? Please don't be shy. Share something with us. Influence us to be into it, too. 

Silly Head Reflections

The rain gently fell through the trees as I sat on the front porch enjoying the wet smell of the forest on a cool Sunday morning. My eyes were puffy from tears, restless sleep, and brain fatigue. My heart swelled with pleasure from watching women engage in worship, scripture, and community, but my spirit felt exposed and vulnerable after pouring out all I had thought through, written out, and prepared for leading up to the retreat.

Recounting the surprise stories that pop into my head as I speak and the words that come to mind during each session is always an interesting part of the retreat aftermath. Confusion and thought chaos often plague me even to the point of not being really sure what I said apart from the used pages of leftover notes I can hold and re-read. This past weekend I let it all hang out as I stood in front of 55 of my closest friends. They heard my heart and words, but they are given the responsibility to translate and apply. It feels freeing, yet eerily ambiguous. Should I clarify? Did it make sense? Did I point to Jesus? 

How in the world do preachers give of their hearts week after week after week? I've asked Chad several times. He just smiles at me like I'm a silly head. Maybe I am a silly head. Maybe if I was sharing week after week after week I would get used to the exposure or maybe not even think twice about it. Maybe. I'm not really interested in finding out. 

Retreat de Moxie is my favorite. The opportunity to speak to the women of my church, to challenge them, to know some of their stories, to make them laugh, and to watch them deal with Jesus blows me away. I love it. The truth be told I would love the opportunity to speak to women more often, but it hasn't been part of my life just yet. How do you do that anyway? "Hello. My name is Angel. You've never heard of me, but I want to speak to your group." Duh. Um, no? So I will take the opportunity year after year, as long as I feel okayed by Jesus, to speak at our women's retreat. And like I said in my last post, this is not some church lady, stereotypical, paper flower making, super sweet, mamsy-pamsy women's retreat. We get down to some serious Jesus business. Just like it should be. 

Thanks for the great photo, Angela! 

I took many hours scratching out notes through three significant passages of scripture. Today I tore the pages out of my notebook to put into the recycle and it felt a bit like when you cook Thanksgiving meal for hours and it only takes five minutes to eat. All the handwritten yellow pages turned into four neatly typed organized five to six point sessions. All the hours of study and writing turned into four one hour sessions. My prayer is that the thoughts and points will resonate with each woman who attended the retreat, that they will think of Mary and Martha differently than they ever have, that they will respond to Jesus as a disciple with a hearty welcome into the deep places of their lives.

I learned a few things over this retreat, too. In honor of my friend, Tori, I will share them with you in bullet format. 

• It is important to give women landmarks for major turns when giving directions, not just highway numbers. 
• The work of ministry is meeting people where they are...going with them...to where God wants them to be. 
• Jesus responds to us with compassion, insight, clarity, and enough. 
• If you bring an extra giant bag of peanut butter M&M's they will be gone in less than 24 hours. 
• Speaking about Jesus being the "I AM" will move women in powerful ways. 
• Jesus as the Resurrection and the Life is a foundational, profound, mystery of our faith! 
• 99% of women scream or squeak when they jump off a platform to zip line. 
• We do not always have the luxury of privacy in our faith. True that. 
• What Jesus has planned to do in our hearts is far greater than what he has planned to do in our circumstances! 
• If you accidentally say "sh*t" in a session when you mean to say "strips" your face will turn red and people will laugh. Loudly.  
• Mary and Martha weeping is not the same word used for Jesus weeping. "Jesus wept" is so misunderstood in the church.   
• Often we focus on what is rotting, decomposing, or being eaten by worms in our life instead of Jesus. 
• Our focus should be on Jesus, not our reputation or our own contrived ideas of justice.
• If you say something you want to clarify, if you truly love people and they know your heart, they will be extraordinarily gracious and loving towards you. 
• 55 women singing Oceans at the top of their lungs promotes huge giant goose bumps. 
• I still cry easily when my brain gets fatigued, but I'm doing way better than I was last year at this time. 

And finally

• You think you can love a group of people so much and then you get smacked up in the head with more love and loyalty that you could ever imagine. 

What are you thinking about these days? If you participated in Retreat de Moxie, what is one serious thing you learned and one funny thing you learned? Do you have any thoughts about any of my bullet points? Please share. You all know comments are my love language. 

Making New Friends

Last year I participated in a pen pal, secret gift, long distance meet up that sweet Kim over at A Cuppa Kim put together. It was great fun and I had been looking forward to this one all year. You see, last year I missed the whole point. Sure, I sent out a great mug. Sure, I received a great mug. But, to be honest, I have no idea who I sent to or received from. Really? Sheesh. Relationship fail. For me, while a package full of goodies is fun to dig through, a new friend is my main hope. I really like people. 

My package shipped out to the sweet Mrs. Dallner in Missouri. It was fun looking through her blog and Instagram. Her family is beautiful. I wanted her package to be lovely and feminine when she opened it up. 

Shortly after I shipped my package off, I came home to a big box with an originally designed address label. I knew the contents were going to be good if someone put so much effort into the mailing label! 

Oh man, Jan you blessed my socks off! This sweet person whom I've never met seriously took the time to get to know me. Through my blog, Pinterest, and Instagram she gathered information and nailed it. I mean, she was so detailed into who I am and what I like. I'm very impressed with Jan's intentionality and attention to detail. 

A personalized journal, beautiful nail polish, a card holder for memorizing scripture, a Zero candy bar (one of my favorite splurges), a Starbucks gift card, a fancy business card holder, and of course a beautiful mug. Her generosity overwhelmed me! The fact that she handmade parts of this package impressed me. As you all know, I'm not so gifted in the handmade department, but I am gifted in the enjoying other's talents department. 

And check out this beautiful mug from Anthropologie! I think it is gorgeous. Liquid tastes better after it sits in this mug. The bold colors, the shades of blue and green, the design...I love it. It is the perfect mug for me.

Here is a closer look at some of the goodies in my package. Jan even learned that Jeremiah 17:7-8 has been the most meaningful passage in my life over this past year. She really did her research. 

To be sure, the stuff in the box honored me. However, to be honest, the letter Jan wrote to me was the true treasure of this year's mug swap. Typed written, front and back, it was full of the details of my story she had gleaned as she sought to gift to me the perfect mug. Her words were encouraging, uplifting, and sincere. 

Jan, thank you. I can tell you are a gifted encourager. Your attention to detail makes this world a more beautiful place. I will pray for you each time I use one of the items you sent which will be often because of the wonderful variety of stuff you sent! I'm hoping we continue to cultivate a long-distance cyber friendship which translates into a real friendship. I'm thankful for you. Thank you for blessing me! 

One last thing: Because the mug swap was so fun last year, I decided to implement a mug swap during Second Mile's annual Retreat de Moxie. Last year 46 women retreated together to hear from God, laugh, and rejuvenate. This year 54 of us are heading to the mountains of Payson, AZ. Now some of you may be wrinkling your nose up at a woman's retreat. Often women's ministry gets a bad wrap, especially in the blog world. Don't lump us into any negative stereo-type. We allow Jesus to do some serious spiritual butt-kicking in our lives. We laugh our cheeks and bellies sore. We fully engage in worship. We hike, fly down zip lines, eat goodies, drink coffee, and talk and talk and talk. This weekend I'm blessed to lead this wonderful group of strong, intelligent, amazing women. Pray for us? And, don't be jealous that I'll be getting another awesome mug. 

The mug I received from last year's Cuppa Kim Mug Swap is on the left. The middle is my new treasure from this year's Cuppa Kim Mug Swap. I received the one on the right during last year's Retreat de Moxie. I'll be adding to this collection on Friday night. I'll come home with a good one, even if I have to steal it. 

Did you participate in this year's swap? 

Moxie ladies, have you picked out the perfect mug for Friday night? 

What is your favorite part of giving fun gifts to people?